ok, first of all this is terrible. i want you guys to be together in a great relationship for ever too. i love you both dearly. BUT from reading this it seems as though you put all the blame of this squarely on dustin. i don't really know the intimate details of your relationship but from what i have seen i dont think thats a fair assesment of things. i am sure a lot of it is mostly because you are upset right now, but i know that you havent been as positive lately as you claim in this post. we have all been pretty concerned about you actually and i am sure dustin has felt the brunt of it most of all. i can't give too much advice on your relationship not knowing many of the details, but i know it is not fair for most of this to be put on dustin without you acknowledging that you have just as much responsibility for the relationship as him, it just seems like he has taken the responsibility of bringing the problems to light. basically i want you guys to be healthy and happy. anything that can be done to help please let us know, but i think most of this is stuff you guys need to really think about yourselves. i wish you both the best though and love you both.
im not blaming any problems we have on him. i know it takes two people. i know i have not been an easy person to be in a relationship with but oh my god am i trying. not just for him or us, but for me. i know that my problems have been detrimental at times. and he has been difficult, too. but he has always insisted that i can get better, that he would see me through it, in supporting my trying to get better. im not putting this all on him, as blame. im saying that it is in his hands now what happens. and i dont know if he is really thinking about everything involved, because his actions are showing that his line of thought is stubborn and closed. i never at any point said it was all his fault, i never talked about fault. its both of us. and i want to work on this. and he doesnt, thats what i am struggling with. its not easy for me to understand why he doesnt want to. i am not blaming him for anything, and i am not mad, and i understand his concerns and see them for the most part, and if not, i see where he is coming from.
and as far as me being positive, i have been better lately. ive been working on myself a lot. no one sees the work i have to do, that i do to make myself better. even after that horrible night when i wasnt well, i made myself go out, to that show, i wanted to, and i stayed when he left, and i was happy to. i wanted to go to casiotone, but i had to work. ive wanted to be social more, and go out with D, but D and i havent had hardly any time with each other or to ourselves or anything. its a really tough thing im trying to fight. but ive believed for some time that it is possible for me to be happy and to cope. i want to and i have to, otherwise i will never be happy and have anthing that i want, whether i am by myself, with D or anyone else.
BUT from reading this it seems as though you put all the blame of this squarely on dustin. i don't really know the intimate details of your relationship but from what i have seen i dont think thats a fair assesment of things. i am sure a lot of it is mostly because you are upset right now, but i know that you havent been as positive lately as you claim in this post. we have all been pretty concerned about you actually and i am sure dustin has felt the brunt of it most of all. i can't give too much advice on your relationship not knowing many of the details, but i know it is not fair for most of this to be put on dustin without you acknowledging that you have just as much responsibility for the relationship as him, it just seems like he has taken the responsibility of bringing the problems to light.
basically i want you guys to be healthy and happy. anything that can be done to help please let us know, but i think most of this is stuff you guys need to really think about yourselves. i wish you both the best though and love you both.
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im not putting this all on him, as blame. im saying that it is in his hands now what happens. and i dont know if he is really thinking about everything involved, because his actions are showing that his line of thought is stubborn and closed. i never at any point said it was all his fault, i never talked about fault. its both of us. and i want to work on this. and he doesnt, thats what i am struggling with. its not easy for me to understand why he doesnt want to. i am not blaming him for anything, and i am not mad, and i understand his concerns and see them for the most part, and if not, i see where he is coming from.
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