Shift
So...I recently read in some newspaper, possibly the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, but I did not actually take that big of a notice at the masthead, that upcoming is National Record Day, and that Pittsburgh's diverse record store population was getting ready with new vinyl releases and big sales.
And yet again, I feel like I have just been appointed governor of Mount Saint Crazytown.
Really? Records? Are you for real? Haven't we evolved, like, 5 different technologies since the record? Poor quality, short life-span, easily damaged, non-transportable, stupid, ugly. I mean...let's assume the MP3 and iPod technology is the chimpanzee. Pretty damn evolved, it's got thumbs and everything. It GRABS you and won't let go (LOOK AT THAT...an opposable thumb pun. What other LiveJournal will bring you THAT?). So if the MP3 is a chimp, then a record, oh let's say, algae. Records just sit there, sucking up all the oxygen, killing fish.
THEY KILL FISH.
Wait, this analogy has gotten away from me.
Regardless, I don't understand society's fascination with records; I've known about for years, since my HS buddy Duffy became entranced by them, and I learned it was a big, whole underground thing. To buy and collect and listen to FUCKING RECORDS.
There are no elitists out there going "Yeah, sure, I guess the car is all right, but for my money, we never REALLY got anything better than a horse and buggy". There's no movement out there to get overweight, 14 inch, black-and-white television sets with dialknobs. No one is trading in their refrigerator for an icebox.
I just...ugh. I don't understand. Technology advances forward for a reason. Not for some avant garde art fags to sit around and muse about how awesome they are because they listen to music that can't be played while driving, so really...what's the point? I think everyone in the world who is so obsessed with their backwards record technology should also be forced to cover themselves in asbestos, since they want to take us all right back to the 1950's so badly.
I recently got RAR'ed at over my insensitivity for an issue I have never been fully capable to understand, and this is the utter devastation we as a society feel over the Celebrity Death. I don't understand it, but I created a handy-dandy chart to showcase whose death should merit how much reaction from you:
1) Member of your immediate family (spouse, parent, child, sibling) : Long-term grief, depending on relationship. Child probably merits the longest grief, as it is not only backwards and unfortunate, but also will make you feel personally guilty. Spouse would follow that up, then parent, then sibling. These all are understandable bereavements that could take several months and then some of sadness and devastation to overcome.
2) Extremely close friend : moderate-to-long-term grief. A couple months--maybe 2--of utter despair and sadness, and after that you move on to mild upsetness for a month or two, then a month of forlornliness, then you move on and "remember the good times" or whatever.
3) Close-ish relative (grandparent, uncle/aunt, close cousin) : About a month, inverted based on relative's overall age and health. The older/worse shape they were in, the less time you have because, really, you'd been preparing yourself.
4) Pet : A couple weeks. Pets are awesome and really impact your life, and it will suck for a while when you come home and they aren't there, but you knew their lifespans were short when you got them, unless you got one of those $3000 birds, then your grief can go a year because you lost $3000.
5) Co-worker : About a week or so, plus the extra 2 or 3 weeks over over-emphasized kinda-fake grieving you put on so your co-workers don't think you are a monster.
6) Someone you used to know (distant family member, grade school friend, old neighbor) : A day. Remember all the good times, or the ambiguously all right times. Rinse, move on.
7) Celebrity you met once : Half a day or so. However long you are awake. And really, only this long because WE ALL KNOW you're going to spend all day telling us about what they were "really" like.
8) Celebrity you never met : An hour. Consider YouTubing some of their best work, enjoy it. All done.
9) Someone you don't know who tells you they lost someone : ...
-Okay, this actually happened to me when I was working at the airport. This lady came into the store and started looking around.
Me: How are you today? Can I help you with anything?
Lady: No...I'm...no. I'm on my way to Indiana to identify my husband and daughter's bodies. They were gunned down in the street late last night.
Me: ....Okay. I'm going to...yes. I'll...hm. I'm sorry to hear that.
Lady: I've been up since one in the morning, and I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself.
Me: ...I can...I understand that. That must be...
Lady: They were shot down in the street. I got the call at 1:00am.
Me *internally*: You know what would be more fun that this conversation? Eating a porcupine.
So that was pretty fun.
I'm already anticipating this being one of those things where people take this entry more seriously than it needs to be taken, and I shed a few friends like a Persian cat sheds its winter coat. FINE. BE THAT WAY.
Addendum: I updated my profile a bit.
And yet again, I feel like I have just been appointed governor of Mount Saint Crazytown.
Really? Records? Are you for real? Haven't we evolved, like, 5 different technologies since the record? Poor quality, short life-span, easily damaged, non-transportable, stupid, ugly. I mean...let's assume the MP3 and iPod technology is the chimpanzee. Pretty damn evolved, it's got thumbs and everything. It GRABS you and won't let go (LOOK AT THAT...an opposable thumb pun. What other LiveJournal will bring you THAT?). So if the MP3 is a chimp, then a record, oh let's say, algae. Records just sit there, sucking up all the oxygen, killing fish.
THEY KILL FISH.
Wait, this analogy has gotten away from me.
Regardless, I don't understand society's fascination with records; I've known about for years, since my HS buddy Duffy became entranced by them, and I learned it was a big, whole underground thing. To buy and collect and listen to FUCKING RECORDS.
There are no elitists out there going "Yeah, sure, I guess the car is all right, but for my money, we never REALLY got anything better than a horse and buggy". There's no movement out there to get overweight, 14 inch, black-and-white television sets with dialknobs. No one is trading in their refrigerator for an icebox.
I just...ugh. I don't understand. Technology advances forward for a reason. Not for some avant garde art fags to sit around and muse about how awesome they are because they listen to music that can't be played while driving, so really...what's the point? I think everyone in the world who is so obsessed with their backwards record technology should also be forced to cover themselves in asbestos, since they want to take us all right back to the 1950's so badly.
I recently got RAR'ed at over my insensitivity for an issue I have never been fully capable to understand, and this is the utter devastation we as a society feel over the Celebrity Death. I don't understand it, but I created a handy-dandy chart to showcase whose death should merit how much reaction from you:
1) Member of your immediate family (spouse, parent, child, sibling) : Long-term grief, depending on relationship. Child probably merits the longest grief, as it is not only backwards and unfortunate, but also will make you feel personally guilty. Spouse would follow that up, then parent, then sibling. These all are understandable bereavements that could take several months and then some of sadness and devastation to overcome.
2) Extremely close friend : moderate-to-long-term grief. A couple months--maybe 2--of utter despair and sadness, and after that you move on to mild upsetness for a month or two, then a month of forlornliness, then you move on and "remember the good times" or whatever.
3) Close-ish relative (grandparent, uncle/aunt, close cousin) : About a month, inverted based on relative's overall age and health. The older/worse shape they were in, the less time you have because, really, you'd been preparing yourself.
4) Pet : A couple weeks. Pets are awesome and really impact your life, and it will suck for a while when you come home and they aren't there, but you knew their lifespans were short when you got them, unless you got one of those $3000 birds, then your grief can go a year because you lost $3000.
5) Co-worker : About a week or so, plus the extra 2 or 3 weeks over over-emphasized kinda-fake grieving you put on so your co-workers don't think you are a monster.
6) Someone you used to know (distant family member, grade school friend, old neighbor) : A day. Remember all the good times, or the ambiguously all right times. Rinse, move on.
7) Celebrity you met once : Half a day or so. However long you are awake. And really, only this long because WE ALL KNOW you're going to spend all day telling us about what they were "really" like.
8) Celebrity you never met : An hour. Consider YouTubing some of their best work, enjoy it. All done.
9) Someone you don't know who tells you they lost someone : ...
-Okay, this actually happened to me when I was working at the airport. This lady came into the store and started looking around.
Me: How are you today? Can I help you with anything?
Lady: No...I'm...no. I'm on my way to Indiana to identify my husband and daughter's bodies. They were gunned down in the street late last night.
Me: ....Okay. I'm going to...yes. I'll...hm. I'm sorry to hear that.
Lady: I've been up since one in the morning, and I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself.
Me: ...I can...I understand that. That must be...
Lady: They were shot down in the street. I got the call at 1:00am.
Me *internally*: You know what would be more fun that this conversation? Eating a porcupine.
So that was pretty fun.
I'm already anticipating this being one of those things where people take this entry more seriously than it needs to be taken, and I shed a few friends like a Persian cat sheds its winter coat. FINE. BE THAT WAY.
Addendum: I updated my profile a bit.