(no subject)
for once in my life I know what its like to be torn down to absolutely nothing.
nothing is left at all.
the two things that i cared about are gone, fucked over.
and nothing will fix it because nothing can.
not words.
not actions.
nothing.
and this time, i didn't fuck up.
i did absolutely nothing wrong.
so im not going chase after anyone. im not going to do that to myself again.
i wont, because now of all times its not worth it anymore.
because i feel nothing more then hate and disgust.
i don’t remember half the shit that went down last night.
but i wouldn't take any of it back.
because now you know the damage you did.
and now.. after so long.
i actually felt my heart break.
for so long now i have been trying to get my best friend back, as nothing more then a friend.
only to be told that i lost her so long ago to another person i loved.
so i give up.
on friendship.
on siblings.
on life.
i would gladly take as many pills as i did last night. only sleep threw the night and feel like shit the next day. because that means im not thinking about you. and im not thinking about how fucked up everything is.
nothing is left at all.
the two things that i cared about are gone, fucked over.
and nothing will fix it because nothing can.
not words.
not actions.
nothing.
and this time, i didn't fuck up.
i did absolutely nothing wrong.
so im not going chase after anyone. im not going to do that to myself again.
i wont, because now of all times its not worth it anymore.
because i feel nothing more then hate and disgust.
i don’t remember half the shit that went down last night.
but i wouldn't take any of it back.
because now you know the damage you did.
and now.. after so long.
i actually felt my heart break.
for so long now i have been trying to get my best friend back, as nothing more then a friend.
only to be told that i lost her so long ago to another person i loved.
so i give up.
on friendship.
on siblings.
on life.
i would gladly take as many pills as i did last night. only sleep threw the night and feel like shit the next day. because that means im not thinking about you. and im not thinking about how fucked up everything is.