Don't Ever Let it End: Part 4/4
Title: Don’t Ever Let it End
Summary: Jack and Sam spend some unexpected time together during Thanksgiving weekend.
Timeframe: Post season one’s ‘Solitudes.’
Characters/Pairing: Jack/Sam, Daniel, Janet
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Holiday, UST to RST, Friendship, Romance, Whump
Rating: PG
Note: I did a tiny little flub in this part, so we’re just going to have to pretend that There But For The Grace of God takes place before Solitudes. Sorry about that. My bad.
Part Four
Saturday
Jack was a little out of sorts when he woke in the morning, but as he opened his eyes, he knew for sure he wasn’t in his own room. He sat himself up straighter and coughed, bringing one hand up to his chest as the painful spasms continued. When the fit began to subside, Jack felt movement at his side and quickly realized that he wasn’t alone in bed. As the blonde mop of hair next to him came into focus, a somewhat-hazy, drugged-up memory returned. Sam had told him about the feelings she felt for him, and in return Jack had confessed his love for her before falling asleep in the guest bed where she’d been sleeping the last couple nights. Crap.
Not quite sure how Sam would react given what had happened last night, and also not wanting her to leave, Jack was afraid of waking her. He was surprised she hadn’t woken yet while he’d been coughing up his lungs, and decided she must have been really exhausted.
Jack laid back down and tried to keep still for a while longer, but it was morning now and the pain meds he’d taken before bed had long since worn off. Sporadic jolts of pain were shooting up and down his broken leg, and his already-raspy breathing became louder as he tried to contain the agony.
Still not wanting to wake Sam, he stared up at the ceiling and started tapping out a soft mantra with his fists on the mattress. Jack didn’t realize the soft thumping of his fists had become heavy pounding until Sam rolled toward him with open eyes and quickly sat up before taking one good look at him and scrambling out of bed with a hastily whispered, “Hang on.”
Seconds passed that felt like hours. The next thing Jack knew, Sam was helping him sit up and he was chasing down some pills with a glass of water. He slumped back, but he wasn’t lying flat. Sam had hastily piled some pillows behind him to lean against, and was kneeling on the bed beside him. Jack clenched his eyes shut, waiting for the meds to kick in, but the pain in his leg didn’t recede. In fact, it felt like it was getting worse. Sweat beaded on his brow and poured down his face, his breathing loud and ragged.
“Jack?” Sam’s hand was against his forehead in an instant, and then she was gone again, returning to his side shortly with her cell phone to her ear.
.
After an uncomfortable ride in his truck, along with the even more pain-increasing feat of climbing in and out of the truck, Jack was lying on a gurney in an exam room at the Academy Hospital waiting for Janet Fraiser. Sam had quickly phoned the doc when it became apparent that his pain had increased and wasn’t going away. Fraiser had insisted he come to the hospital to get checked out, especially now since the streets had been plowed and appeared safe to drive on.
Jack was frustrated, lying back on the gurney, clenching his teeth and squeezing the life out of Sam’s hand while they waited for Fraiser. None of the nurses would give him anything until Janet could see him, despite his muttered curses of pain and barely-contained agony.
“Hang in there, sir,” Sam whispered, covering their joined hands with her free one and squeezing gently.
Jack’s harsh, labored breathing sounded even worse now, both from the chest cold and the flaring agony in his right leg. He knew he was crushing Sam’s hand and tried to loosen his grip. “Sorry, Carter,” he murmured apologetically.
She just sent him a tight, reassuring smile and patted his hand over hers. “It’s okay, Colonel.”
Jack tried not to grimace at the returned use of his title. He knew it was only because they were at the hospital, and acknowledged that it was the smart thing to do. He had to distance himself from her while they were here, despite his desire not to because he was in so much pain. Jack was craving her closeness and her comfort.
He felt himself sag slightly with relief when Janet came into the exam room with an equipment tray. “Okay Colonel, I know you’re in a lot of pain but I need to take a look at you before I can give you anything, okay?”
He knew the drill. Jack grunted in assent as she stepped up alongside his bed, checked his pulse, and listened to his chest before looking at him seriously. “Sir, I’m going to need to get your pants off to examine your leg.” Janet glanced over at Sam. “Would you like Captain Carter to step out?”
“No. S’okay,” he managed barely audibly through clenched teeth. Jack released Sam’s hand, but he didn’t want her to go.
“Okay,” Janet nodded, then eyed him for a moment. “Do you think we could help you get them off or do you want me to use the scissors?”
Jack grimaced briefly, but eventually said, “I can get ‘em off.” He really didn’t want to have to go home in a gown or scrubs. Using one hand on the bed for leverage, he lifted his hips and tugged at the elastic waist of his sweatpants with his free hand. He was silently grateful when both Janet and Sam assisted in getting them off and down over the cast on his right leg.
Janet tugged the curtain closed around the gurney and then went to check out his leg. Even Jack could see the red, swollen flesh peeking out from the cast where it ended a little past mid-thigh. He winced when Janet pushed up the edge of his boxer shorts to further expose his leg, and shot a look over at Carter. He definitely didn’t want any private bits poking out of his shorts while she was there! Tugging the blanket over his left leg and most of his lap, he softly murmured, “It’s cold,” as an excuse when both Janet and Sam looked at him. Which wasn’t a total lie; without his pants on and wearing only a t-shirt, he was pretty chilly! He had goosebumps all over.
After a brief look at his injured leg, Janet took a step back. “Okay, sir, your leg is swelling pretty badly under the cast, so I’m going to have to remove it. I’ll also want to do an MRI just to check that the bones are healing well, and a chest X-Ray to make sure your little chest cold isn’t turning into pneumonia.” She edged closer to the door. “First I just want to give you a corticosteroid injection; that should help with the pain and swelling in your leg. I’ll be right back.”
.
Once Janet had given Jack the injection, he was covered in a blanket and an orderly arrived to help Fraiser take him for his scans. Sam sunk into the chair in the exam room and said she’d wait. She really wanted to go with Jack, but didn’t want to make it so obvious just how much closer she’d gotten with him over the last couple of days.
Sam waited anxiously for Janet and Jack to return, tapping her foot in a staccato beat against the floor. With such a crazy morning, her brain was just now able to take a moment to catch up, reminding Sam about what had been said between herself and Jack last night. There were still doubts in her mind that Jack would even recall what had happened, but she knew that this time she didn’t want to just forget and shove things aside. This time she wanted to confront these feelings and doubts head on. She wanted to talk to Jack, but not right now. She wanted to wait until he was feeling a bit better and not doped up on meds. And she also wanted to wait until they were in the privacy of his home, not here in the hospital.
Sam stood several minutes later when Janet and the orderly returned, pushing Jack’s gurney back into the room. The back of the gurney was tilted so he wasn’t lying completely flat, and he looked pretty groggy. The blanket over him was pulled up to his chin, only his right leg exposed. “Janet?” she asked, wanting to know what was going on.
“I gave him a painkiller along with the cortisone. The MRI showed no additional damage to his leg; it’s healing well, and there’s no infection despite the swelling. I’m going to have to cut the cast off and put him in a removable one that will allow him to put ice on it when necessary.”
Nodding with understanding, Sam moved beside the gurney and resisted the urge to put her hand on Jack’s shoulder. He remained quiet. “What about his chest X-Ray?”
“There’s some congestion in his lungs, but it hasn’t developed into pneumonia, and I’m fairly confident it won’t,” Janet replied without missing a beat, then added, “As long as he continues to rest and get plenty of fluids. I’m also going to send him home with some pills that should help with the congestion.”
“So I can go home?” Jack asked, his voice low and muzzy.
Janet smiled at him. “Yes, Colonel. After we get the cast off and the new brace on, Sam can take you home.”
“Okay.”
Sam stayed right by Jack’s gurney while Janet left to get the special saw for his cast. He was staring at his leg now, and she wondered if he was apprehensive about seeing his injured leg without the plaster covering. She sure was, and she didn’t even have a reason why.
.
Jack tried very hard not to move as Janet carefully cut away the plaster encasing his right leg from mid-thigh to his toes. As the cast was methodically split in half and removed just as meticulously, Jack felt the cool air hit his exposed skin and his whole body shivered. Despite only being in the cast for a few weeks, his leg was pale with faint smatterings of purple and yellowish bruising, and already losing some muscle tone, visible even with the swelling that was still going down. He started to bend his knee up, wanting so badly to flex the joint, but a spiral of pain spiked all the way up to his groin and he sucked in a sharp breath. The cortisone hadn’t kicked in yet.
“Colonel, don’t!” Janet scolded him warningly, very gently placing her small, cool hands above and below his right knee. “Let me put the brace on. Don’t you move that leg an inch,” she commanded.
Jack winced with a muttered, “Yes, ma’am.” He slid a sideways glance toward Sam and sent her a lopsided smile. “Sorry ‘bout all this…Carter.” He cleared his throat and started to cough.
Sam reached a hand behind him to rub his back as he leaned forward with the coughing fit. “It’s okay, sir. It’s not your fault.”
He slowly took in a deep breath once the fit subsided, and his attention shifted to Janet as she brought over his sweatpants and the knee brace. Jack clenched his jaw as both Sam and the doctor helped him dress again, and then Janet was opening the straps on the leg brace.
“Colonel, this brace has a moveable knee joint where the tension can be adjusted for therapy when you’ve recovered more. I’m just going to lock it in place so your knee isn’t bent, okay?”
“Yeah.” Jack grunted with a nod. He clenched his teeth slightly as Janet gently lifted his leg to slide the brace on beneath it. As long as he didn’t move it too much, like when he’d tried to bend his knee up, the pain was dulled from the injections the doc had given him.
“You need to elevate your leg while resting to keep the swelling down, and use ice when necessary,” Fraiser told him while she adjusted the straps on his brace. “And if I hear from Captain Carter that you’re not doing that, I’m coming to get you with my biggest needles!” she threatened half-heartedly.
Jack caught Sam’s tight smile as his gaze shifted to her. Her hand suddenly slid away from his back self-consciously, and she held both hands behind her in almost a parade rest.
.
By the time they got back to the Colonel’s house, Jack was pretty drained, and a little drugged up. Sam took his coat and shoe, then helped him hobble back to his room. When he was lying down, she carefully placed a few pillows beneath his leg and then packed some ice around his knee. He was drifting off rapidly, and before she left the room, Sam pressed a kiss to his forehead.
In a short while it would be lunch, and since neither she nor Jack had eaten a thing this morning, Sam went to the kitchen to see what she could come up with.
After heating up some sauce and cooking pasta, Sam left the meal on the stove to stay warm and went to go check on her Colonel. She heard his hacking cough the moment she stepped into the hall, and turned around to grab the medication she’d left in the kitchen before entering his room.
Sam handed Jack the pills for his chest congestion and he lay back exhausted for a moment once the coughing fit subsided. He was rubbing at his chest, breathing in and out slowly. “I made some pasta. Do you want to try and eat something?”
He didn’t look like he did, but he nodded anyway, probably knowing that he should eat since he hadn’t had anything all day.
Stuffing some pillows behind his back when he sat up, Sam left the room again to bring their food. When she came back she carefully crawled onto the bed beside him, leaning against the headboard before handing him his bowl of pasta.
“Thanks,” he rasped appreciatively. Jack pushed himself to sit up a little straighter and began slowly shoveling some food in his mouth.
With her own bowl of pasta on her lap, Sam watched him as she ate, barely focusing on her own food. She was too preoccupied, worried about Jack and still wondering what he remembered from last night. It still didn’t feel like the right time to bring anything up while he was exhausted and on meds.
Jack managed to finish almost all of his lunch before reaching over to put his bowl on the night table. He sunk back into his pillows a moment, breathing shallowly until he was overcome with a full body shiver.
“Cold?” Sam asked, setting her food aside and eyeing him with concern.
“Hm.” He nodded, then waved a hand toward his leg. “It’s the ice.”
Sam got up and gently removed the ice packs from his leg, taking them to the kitchen to stick back in the freezer. When she returned to Jack’s bedroom he was half asleep and beginning to slump sideways.
Finding Jack a sweatshirt in the closet, Sam brought it over. “Want to put this on?”
He managed to open his eyes and nod sleepily.
“Okay, we’ll have you warmed right up.” Sam smiled compassionately and helped him put on the old Air Force crewneck she’d dug out of the closet. She then adjusted his pillows and got him to lie back again, only slightly reclined so he could still breathe well enough.
After piling on the blankets, Sam didn’t want to leave him, even though he was already fast asleep. Lifting the heavy pile, she scooted close to Jack beneath, curling up to his side without touching his leg or adding any extra weight to his chest. She rested her head at his shoulder and closed her eyes.
Sam wasn’t tired at all and couldn’t bring herself to fall asleep despite the comforting warmth of leaning against Jack’s solid form. She couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d said to Jack the previous night, and how he’d openly told her he loved her. Even though he was drowsy and drugged at the time, he’d said it. Sam couldn’t stop wondering if he’d say it if he was completely coherent. And she wanted to know if she’d be able to say it out loud to him. Of course she’d sort of said it, vague as she was, but she needed to know if she could really do what she had to do when it counted. Sam needed to tell Jack, clearly and in no uncertain terms, that she loved him. Despite the Air Force, their professional standings, whatever; Samantha Carter loved Jack O’Neill, and that was all that mattered right now.
Sitting up slowly and carefully, Sam slid off the bed and quietly left Jack’s room. She went off to the kitchen to clean up after lunch, eager to do something simple and domestic that would allow her to gather her thoughts.
.
Jack didn’t wake again until almost 1800 hrs, and it was about that time when Sam worked up the courage to have the very serious and most dreaded conversation with him. She was just about to get up from the couch when she heard Jack hobbling down the hall. Sam jumped up to help him, reluctantly retaking her seat when he waved her down.
“I got it, Carter,” he said, his voice raspy. “Sam.” Jack’s expression changed when Sam looked at him, his brows knit together slightly with a tentative grin on his face.
Sam watched Jack carefully as he hobbled slowly down the lounge steps. He made his way to the couch and sunk down beside her as gingerly as possible. She helped him settle despite grunted protests, stuffing a pillow beneath his leg after elevating it on the coffee table. When he finally heaved a sigh of relief, she sent him a tentative sideways smile.
For a minute or two, Sam didn’t quite know what to say or how to say it. She must have been staring at him for a while because he gave her a curious look and then lightly nudged her arm with the back of his hand.
“What is it?”
Sam snapped herself out of it and twisted sideways on the couch to face him better. She chewed on her lower lip for a while, her brows quivering as she worked up the nerve to just say what she needed to. Finally, taking a deep breath, she let it out. “Did you mean what you said?”
He cocked his head, smirked a little, and then a serious expression came over his face. “When?” Jack asked softly, hesitantly, like he wanted to be sure they were on the same level here.
She swallowed nervously, ducking her head, her heart hammering away in her chest. Sam’s fingers twisted distractedly in the hem of her shirt, and her voice grew very soft. “When you said you loved me.”
Jack’s eyes were dark and guarded when she looked up at him. He cleared his throat and nodded slowly. “Yeah. I did… I do mean it, Carter. Sam. I love you.”
.
Jack’s heartbeat slowed marginally with relief when she sent him a brilliant smile, her blue eyes sparkling.
“When you kissed me at Janet’s on Thanksgiving, I just…I-“
He grinned back at her, and then suddenly his face was in her hands and she was pressing her lips to his. Wrapping his arms around her, Jack eagerly returned the kiss until his chest grew tight with a need for air, his congested lungs fighting with his carnal desires.
Sam dropped her hands and pulled back, allowing him to catch his breath, the air wheezing in his lungs, but a grin still on his face. “Sorry,” she murmured quickly with embarrassment. “I know this is wrong and we can’t… We’re not supposed to-“
Jack reached for her hand and squeezed it, still feeling a little breathless. He hoped his eyes showed his understanding.
“I don’t want to give this up,” Sam said firmly, licking her lips.
Nodding in sincere agreement, Jack opened his mouth to verbally reassure her, but he was overcome by a coughing fit and turned away, hunching over.
Sam gently thumped his back until the fit subsided, her hand still resting between his shoulder-blades until he collapsed back into the couch. “Easy.” She encouraged him to relax and got up to get a blanket, draping it over him when she returned.
“What time is it?” Jack asked with his head back, eyes closed. He heard Sam turn on the TV.
“Just after six.” Her hand moved to his shoulder. “How’s your leg?”
“Not bad.”
She was quiet for a little while, probably trying to figure out when he was due for his next round of painkillers. “I don’t think I’ve said it yet, but…I love you, too.”
A big grin tugged at the corners of Jack’s mouth and he opened his eyes to look at her. He cleared his throat and nodded. “Sweet.”
They spent the next few hours lounging on the couch together, watching movies and then later having cereal for dinner. By nine o’clock Jack was looking quite exhausted, struggling to stay awake, and Sam figured it was time she put him to bed. She got up slowly and held a hand out to halt him when he was about to do the same. “Wait here. Let me get your meds first, okay?”
Jack nodded drowsily and she quickly retrieved his painkillers and the pills for his chest congestion. After he’d taken them, Sam carefully helped Jack to his feet, pulling one arm across her shoulders and hanging onto his waist while he used a crutch under the other arm. Together they hobbled to his room where she pushed back the blankets and then deposited him gently on the bed.
“How’s your leg feeling, now?” Sam glanced at his injured limb, the brace bulging beneath his sweatpants.
“S’okay,” he murmured sleepily.
Sam adjusted the pillows at his back and then carefully moved one under his leg to elevate it. “Do you need to ice it again?”
He frowned and shivered, shaking his head and waving a hand. “No. No ice. Cold.”
She smiled a little. “Okay, okay. No ice.” Pulling the blankets over him, Sam turned out the lights and then started to leave the room until Jack called her back.
“Where y’goin’?” His voice was low and sounded a little worried.
Sam felt a warmth spread through her that and paused in the doorway. “I’m just going to change for bed and I’ll come back, alright?”
“Hm.” He nodded, and with the light from the hallway, Sam could see his eyes closing as he relaxed. “Hurry...back.”
She laughed as she stepped into the hall. Sam slipped into the spare room where her things were and quickly changed into some warm flannel lounge pants and a light blue Henley thermal top.
Jack’s eyes were still closed as she sidled up to the bed and crawled under the covers at his left side, curling up to him. He still had to lie with some pillows at his back to help with his breathing and the chest congestion, but he seemed at least somewhat comfortable. His breaths were low and even and Sam thought he was asleep until she slid her hand over his stomach and heard him hum contentedly.
“I don’t want this to go away,” Sam whispered as she buried her face in the crook of Jack’s shoulder, inhaling his scent.
“It won’t,” he rumbled, putting an arm around her.
Suddenly feeling a little insecure, Sam bit down on her lower lip, her fingers pulling slightly at his t-shirt. “What about when we have to go back to work?”
Jack sighed softly, a grunt escaping as his chest rose and fell. “We’ll worry about that…later.”
Sam nodded into his shoulder, but she was still worrying about it now.
.
Sunday
(Last Day of Vacation)
Jack was already up, sitting on the living room couch wrapped in a blanket and sipping a cup of coffee by the time Sam woke. She smiled down at him from the top of the steps, thinking of how she’d found him similarly on Thanksgiving morning. There was a fire blazing in the hearth, giving the entire room a cozy, warm feeling.
Having no desire for coffee just yet, Sam padded into the sunken lounge and moved to the couch, smiling when Jack silently lifted his blanket for her and sliding up against his side. She pressed her cheek against his shoulder, his warm flannel robe feeling soft against her skin, and smelling purely of him. “I really don’t want this to end,” she murmured.
“Who says it has to?” Jack rumbled, his voice rough from sleep.
She rested a hand on his chest, sliding it beneath his robe, her fingers clenching in the fabric of his shirt. “I don’t mean us, I just mean… Well, the holiday weekend. Daniel’s coming back tomorrow, and I have to return to work.” Sam had finally given in to her desires to be with Jack, pushing away all other concerns and deciding to allow herself to be happy, even if it had to be in secret. She deserved this. They deserved this.
“So?”
Sam pursed her lips. “So… I can’t stay here anymore. Daniel will be around. If I stay it’ll be too obvious-“
“I’ll retire,” Jack said suddenly, his arm around her giving her a squeeze.
She sighed softly. “Jack, no.”
“I won’t ask you to give up your career,” he told her, leaning forward a little to set his mug on the coffee table. Jack paused and cleared his throat when she didn’t say anything. “And I know you don’t want to have to lie to our friends, to General Hammond.”
Biting her lip, she nodded against him, her cheek still pressed to his shoulder, and fingers briefly clenching and unclenching against his chest.
Jack sighed. “I don’t wanna lie, either, but I don’t know what else to do.”
“You didn’t ask me to give up my career, Jack,” she said, finally lifting her head from his shoulder and leaning back so she could see his face. He was still sick, she had to remember, and he looked tired. Sam wondered how much sleep he’d really gotten. “And maybe I won’t have to,” she added.
His brows knit together. “What do you mean?”
With sudden clarity, Sam realized she’d come up with the perfect solution. “I can talk to General Hammond about taking a civilian position. I’ll come clean about my feelings for you and if I’m not in your chain of command, we can still pursue a relationship. I still might be able to join SG-1 in the field.”
“Sam, I dunno…” he began uneasily. “You’d still be expected to take orders from me.”
“So what? If the General okays it, we can handle it,” she continued, confidence spurring her on. “The Jack and Sam in that alternate reality that Daniel went to through the Quantum Mirror made it work. Who says we can’t? He was the base CO and she was a civilian doctor under his command.”
Jack sighed softly with a small smile, relenting. He rubbed her shoulder and nodded. “Okay. Okay, we’ll give it a try. But we’ll both talk to Hammond, alright?”
Sam nodded, smiling back at him.
Jack coughed, rubbed his chest, and then cleared his throat. “But if it doesn’t work, I retire.”
“Jack-“
“Sam,” he shot back. “Please. If it doesn’t work, let me do this.”
Pursing her lips, she agreed, leaning forward again to hug him and kiss his cheek. “Okay.” Sam sat beside him a while longer before deciding to get up and get herself some coffee.
She returned with her caffeinated drink as well as a glass of water for Jack and his pills. He took them with little resistance, letting her know that he hadn’t taken anything yet this morning. “Are you feeling any better?”
“Yeah.” He sipped at his water again. “Chest isn’t so bad now.”
“What about your leg?” Sam wanted to know. The injured leg, still in the brace, was hidden beneath the blankets and propped up on the coffee table.
“Not too bad,” he assured her without moving it.
“I’ll help you get the brace off when you get dressed. We’ll check for swelling then.”
Jack just nodded, obviously not relishing the thought of having to do that. He grimaced and stared toward the window.
Sam followed his gaze. It was snowing again. Part of her really hoped that a bad storm was on its way so that Daniel wouldn’t be able to make it over in the morning and she would be forced to stay with Jack for longer. No matter what happened, she wasn’t going to regret the last few days, and if Hammond or the Joint Chiefs, or whoever had a say in the matter didn’t agree with their plan, it didn’t matter. Sam knew that she wasn’t going to let go of Jack, and he wasn’t about to let go of her. They still had Plan B.
“Sam?” Jack murmured after a while, tiredly relaxing with his head on her shoulder.
“Yeah?” she responded slowly with a smile, finding the drowsy tone to his voice endearing.
“I’m glad you stayed.”
Taking in a deep breath, Sam nodded. “Me too, Jack,” she said softly with feeling, giddy with the fact that their lives were now changed for the better. She turned her head to capture his lips in a chaste, but loving kiss. “Me, too.”
-The End-
Summary: Jack and Sam spend some unexpected time together during Thanksgiving weekend.
Timeframe: Post season one’s ‘Solitudes.’
Characters/Pairing: Jack/Sam, Daniel, Janet
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Holiday, UST to RST, Friendship, Romance, Whump
Rating: PG
Note: I did a tiny little flub in this part, so we’re just going to have to pretend that There But For The Grace of God takes place before Solitudes. Sorry about that. My bad.
Part Four
Saturday
Jack was a little out of sorts when he woke in the morning, but as he opened his eyes, he knew for sure he wasn’t in his own room. He sat himself up straighter and coughed, bringing one hand up to his chest as the painful spasms continued. When the fit began to subside, Jack felt movement at his side and quickly realized that he wasn’t alone in bed. As the blonde mop of hair next to him came into focus, a somewhat-hazy, drugged-up memory returned. Sam had told him about the feelings she felt for him, and in return Jack had confessed his love for her before falling asleep in the guest bed where she’d been sleeping the last couple nights. Crap.
Not quite sure how Sam would react given what had happened last night, and also not wanting her to leave, Jack was afraid of waking her. He was surprised she hadn’t woken yet while he’d been coughing up his lungs, and decided she must have been really exhausted.
Jack laid back down and tried to keep still for a while longer, but it was morning now and the pain meds he’d taken before bed had long since worn off. Sporadic jolts of pain were shooting up and down his broken leg, and his already-raspy breathing became louder as he tried to contain the agony.
Still not wanting to wake Sam, he stared up at the ceiling and started tapping out a soft mantra with his fists on the mattress. Jack didn’t realize the soft thumping of his fists had become heavy pounding until Sam rolled toward him with open eyes and quickly sat up before taking one good look at him and scrambling out of bed with a hastily whispered, “Hang on.”
Seconds passed that felt like hours. The next thing Jack knew, Sam was helping him sit up and he was chasing down some pills with a glass of water. He slumped back, but he wasn’t lying flat. Sam had hastily piled some pillows behind him to lean against, and was kneeling on the bed beside him. Jack clenched his eyes shut, waiting for the meds to kick in, but the pain in his leg didn’t recede. In fact, it felt like it was getting worse. Sweat beaded on his brow and poured down his face, his breathing loud and ragged.
“Jack?” Sam’s hand was against his forehead in an instant, and then she was gone again, returning to his side shortly with her cell phone to her ear.
.
After an uncomfortable ride in his truck, along with the even more pain-increasing feat of climbing in and out of the truck, Jack was lying on a gurney in an exam room at the Academy Hospital waiting for Janet Fraiser. Sam had quickly phoned the doc when it became apparent that his pain had increased and wasn’t going away. Fraiser had insisted he come to the hospital to get checked out, especially now since the streets had been plowed and appeared safe to drive on.
Jack was frustrated, lying back on the gurney, clenching his teeth and squeezing the life out of Sam’s hand while they waited for Fraiser. None of the nurses would give him anything until Janet could see him, despite his muttered curses of pain and barely-contained agony.
“Hang in there, sir,” Sam whispered, covering their joined hands with her free one and squeezing gently.
Jack’s harsh, labored breathing sounded even worse now, both from the chest cold and the flaring agony in his right leg. He knew he was crushing Sam’s hand and tried to loosen his grip. “Sorry, Carter,” he murmured apologetically.
She just sent him a tight, reassuring smile and patted his hand over hers. “It’s okay, Colonel.”
Jack tried not to grimace at the returned use of his title. He knew it was only because they were at the hospital, and acknowledged that it was the smart thing to do. He had to distance himself from her while they were here, despite his desire not to because he was in so much pain. Jack was craving her closeness and her comfort.
He felt himself sag slightly with relief when Janet came into the exam room with an equipment tray. “Okay Colonel, I know you’re in a lot of pain but I need to take a look at you before I can give you anything, okay?”
He knew the drill. Jack grunted in assent as she stepped up alongside his bed, checked his pulse, and listened to his chest before looking at him seriously. “Sir, I’m going to need to get your pants off to examine your leg.” Janet glanced over at Sam. “Would you like Captain Carter to step out?”
“No. S’okay,” he managed barely audibly through clenched teeth. Jack released Sam’s hand, but he didn’t want her to go.
“Okay,” Janet nodded, then eyed him for a moment. “Do you think we could help you get them off or do you want me to use the scissors?”
Jack grimaced briefly, but eventually said, “I can get ‘em off.” He really didn’t want to have to go home in a gown or scrubs. Using one hand on the bed for leverage, he lifted his hips and tugged at the elastic waist of his sweatpants with his free hand. He was silently grateful when both Janet and Sam assisted in getting them off and down over the cast on his right leg.
Janet tugged the curtain closed around the gurney and then went to check out his leg. Even Jack could see the red, swollen flesh peeking out from the cast where it ended a little past mid-thigh. He winced when Janet pushed up the edge of his boxer shorts to further expose his leg, and shot a look over at Carter. He definitely didn’t want any private bits poking out of his shorts while she was there! Tugging the blanket over his left leg and most of his lap, he softly murmured, “It’s cold,” as an excuse when both Janet and Sam looked at him. Which wasn’t a total lie; without his pants on and wearing only a t-shirt, he was pretty chilly! He had goosebumps all over.
After a brief look at his injured leg, Janet took a step back. “Okay, sir, your leg is swelling pretty badly under the cast, so I’m going to have to remove it. I’ll also want to do an MRI just to check that the bones are healing well, and a chest X-Ray to make sure your little chest cold isn’t turning into pneumonia.” She edged closer to the door. “First I just want to give you a corticosteroid injection; that should help with the pain and swelling in your leg. I’ll be right back.”
.
Once Janet had given Jack the injection, he was covered in a blanket and an orderly arrived to help Fraiser take him for his scans. Sam sunk into the chair in the exam room and said she’d wait. She really wanted to go with Jack, but didn’t want to make it so obvious just how much closer she’d gotten with him over the last couple of days.
Sam waited anxiously for Janet and Jack to return, tapping her foot in a staccato beat against the floor. With such a crazy morning, her brain was just now able to take a moment to catch up, reminding Sam about what had been said between herself and Jack last night. There were still doubts in her mind that Jack would even recall what had happened, but she knew that this time she didn’t want to just forget and shove things aside. This time she wanted to confront these feelings and doubts head on. She wanted to talk to Jack, but not right now. She wanted to wait until he was feeling a bit better and not doped up on meds. And she also wanted to wait until they were in the privacy of his home, not here in the hospital.
Sam stood several minutes later when Janet and the orderly returned, pushing Jack’s gurney back into the room. The back of the gurney was tilted so he wasn’t lying completely flat, and he looked pretty groggy. The blanket over him was pulled up to his chin, only his right leg exposed. “Janet?” she asked, wanting to know what was going on.
“I gave him a painkiller along with the cortisone. The MRI showed no additional damage to his leg; it’s healing well, and there’s no infection despite the swelling. I’m going to have to cut the cast off and put him in a removable one that will allow him to put ice on it when necessary.”
Nodding with understanding, Sam moved beside the gurney and resisted the urge to put her hand on Jack’s shoulder. He remained quiet. “What about his chest X-Ray?”
“There’s some congestion in his lungs, but it hasn’t developed into pneumonia, and I’m fairly confident it won’t,” Janet replied without missing a beat, then added, “As long as he continues to rest and get plenty of fluids. I’m also going to send him home with some pills that should help with the congestion.”
“So I can go home?” Jack asked, his voice low and muzzy.
Janet smiled at him. “Yes, Colonel. After we get the cast off and the new brace on, Sam can take you home.”
“Okay.”
Sam stayed right by Jack’s gurney while Janet left to get the special saw for his cast. He was staring at his leg now, and she wondered if he was apprehensive about seeing his injured leg without the plaster covering. She sure was, and she didn’t even have a reason why.
.
Jack tried very hard not to move as Janet carefully cut away the plaster encasing his right leg from mid-thigh to his toes. As the cast was methodically split in half and removed just as meticulously, Jack felt the cool air hit his exposed skin and his whole body shivered. Despite only being in the cast for a few weeks, his leg was pale with faint smatterings of purple and yellowish bruising, and already losing some muscle tone, visible even with the swelling that was still going down. He started to bend his knee up, wanting so badly to flex the joint, but a spiral of pain spiked all the way up to his groin and he sucked in a sharp breath. The cortisone hadn’t kicked in yet.
“Colonel, don’t!” Janet scolded him warningly, very gently placing her small, cool hands above and below his right knee. “Let me put the brace on. Don’t you move that leg an inch,” she commanded.
Jack winced with a muttered, “Yes, ma’am.” He slid a sideways glance toward Sam and sent her a lopsided smile. “Sorry ‘bout all this…Carter.” He cleared his throat and started to cough.
Sam reached a hand behind him to rub his back as he leaned forward with the coughing fit. “It’s okay, sir. It’s not your fault.”
He slowly took in a deep breath once the fit subsided, and his attention shifted to Janet as she brought over his sweatpants and the knee brace. Jack clenched his jaw as both Sam and the doctor helped him dress again, and then Janet was opening the straps on the leg brace.
“Colonel, this brace has a moveable knee joint where the tension can be adjusted for therapy when you’ve recovered more. I’m just going to lock it in place so your knee isn’t bent, okay?”
“Yeah.” Jack grunted with a nod. He clenched his teeth slightly as Janet gently lifted his leg to slide the brace on beneath it. As long as he didn’t move it too much, like when he’d tried to bend his knee up, the pain was dulled from the injections the doc had given him.
“You need to elevate your leg while resting to keep the swelling down, and use ice when necessary,” Fraiser told him while she adjusted the straps on his brace. “And if I hear from Captain Carter that you’re not doing that, I’m coming to get you with my biggest needles!” she threatened half-heartedly.
Jack caught Sam’s tight smile as his gaze shifted to her. Her hand suddenly slid away from his back self-consciously, and she held both hands behind her in almost a parade rest.
.
By the time they got back to the Colonel’s house, Jack was pretty drained, and a little drugged up. Sam took his coat and shoe, then helped him hobble back to his room. When he was lying down, she carefully placed a few pillows beneath his leg and then packed some ice around his knee. He was drifting off rapidly, and before she left the room, Sam pressed a kiss to his forehead.
In a short while it would be lunch, and since neither she nor Jack had eaten a thing this morning, Sam went to the kitchen to see what she could come up with.
After heating up some sauce and cooking pasta, Sam left the meal on the stove to stay warm and went to go check on her Colonel. She heard his hacking cough the moment she stepped into the hall, and turned around to grab the medication she’d left in the kitchen before entering his room.
Sam handed Jack the pills for his chest congestion and he lay back exhausted for a moment once the coughing fit subsided. He was rubbing at his chest, breathing in and out slowly. “I made some pasta. Do you want to try and eat something?”
He didn’t look like he did, but he nodded anyway, probably knowing that he should eat since he hadn’t had anything all day.
Stuffing some pillows behind his back when he sat up, Sam left the room again to bring their food. When she came back she carefully crawled onto the bed beside him, leaning against the headboard before handing him his bowl of pasta.
“Thanks,” he rasped appreciatively. Jack pushed himself to sit up a little straighter and began slowly shoveling some food in his mouth.
With her own bowl of pasta on her lap, Sam watched him as she ate, barely focusing on her own food. She was too preoccupied, worried about Jack and still wondering what he remembered from last night. It still didn’t feel like the right time to bring anything up while he was exhausted and on meds.
Jack managed to finish almost all of his lunch before reaching over to put his bowl on the night table. He sunk back into his pillows a moment, breathing shallowly until he was overcome with a full body shiver.
“Cold?” Sam asked, setting her food aside and eyeing him with concern.
“Hm.” He nodded, then waved a hand toward his leg. “It’s the ice.”
Sam got up and gently removed the ice packs from his leg, taking them to the kitchen to stick back in the freezer. When she returned to Jack’s bedroom he was half asleep and beginning to slump sideways.
Finding Jack a sweatshirt in the closet, Sam brought it over. “Want to put this on?”
He managed to open his eyes and nod sleepily.
“Okay, we’ll have you warmed right up.” Sam smiled compassionately and helped him put on the old Air Force crewneck she’d dug out of the closet. She then adjusted his pillows and got him to lie back again, only slightly reclined so he could still breathe well enough.
After piling on the blankets, Sam didn’t want to leave him, even though he was already fast asleep. Lifting the heavy pile, she scooted close to Jack beneath, curling up to his side without touching his leg or adding any extra weight to his chest. She rested her head at his shoulder and closed her eyes.
Sam wasn’t tired at all and couldn’t bring herself to fall asleep despite the comforting warmth of leaning against Jack’s solid form. She couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d said to Jack the previous night, and how he’d openly told her he loved her. Even though he was drowsy and drugged at the time, he’d said it. Sam couldn’t stop wondering if he’d say it if he was completely coherent. And she wanted to know if she’d be able to say it out loud to him. Of course she’d sort of said it, vague as she was, but she needed to know if she could really do what she had to do when it counted. Sam needed to tell Jack, clearly and in no uncertain terms, that she loved him. Despite the Air Force, their professional standings, whatever; Samantha Carter loved Jack O’Neill, and that was all that mattered right now.
Sitting up slowly and carefully, Sam slid off the bed and quietly left Jack’s room. She went off to the kitchen to clean up after lunch, eager to do something simple and domestic that would allow her to gather her thoughts.
.
Jack didn’t wake again until almost 1800 hrs, and it was about that time when Sam worked up the courage to have the very serious and most dreaded conversation with him. She was just about to get up from the couch when she heard Jack hobbling down the hall. Sam jumped up to help him, reluctantly retaking her seat when he waved her down.
“I got it, Carter,” he said, his voice raspy. “Sam.” Jack’s expression changed when Sam looked at him, his brows knit together slightly with a tentative grin on his face.
Sam watched Jack carefully as he hobbled slowly down the lounge steps. He made his way to the couch and sunk down beside her as gingerly as possible. She helped him settle despite grunted protests, stuffing a pillow beneath his leg after elevating it on the coffee table. When he finally heaved a sigh of relief, she sent him a tentative sideways smile.
For a minute or two, Sam didn’t quite know what to say or how to say it. She must have been staring at him for a while because he gave her a curious look and then lightly nudged her arm with the back of his hand.
“What is it?”
Sam snapped herself out of it and twisted sideways on the couch to face him better. She chewed on her lower lip for a while, her brows quivering as she worked up the nerve to just say what she needed to. Finally, taking a deep breath, she let it out. “Did you mean what you said?”
He cocked his head, smirked a little, and then a serious expression came over his face. “When?” Jack asked softly, hesitantly, like he wanted to be sure they were on the same level here.
She swallowed nervously, ducking her head, her heart hammering away in her chest. Sam’s fingers twisted distractedly in the hem of her shirt, and her voice grew very soft. “When you said you loved me.”
Jack’s eyes were dark and guarded when she looked up at him. He cleared his throat and nodded slowly. “Yeah. I did… I do mean it, Carter. Sam. I love you.”
.
Jack’s heartbeat slowed marginally with relief when she sent him a brilliant smile, her blue eyes sparkling.
“When you kissed me at Janet’s on Thanksgiving, I just…I-“
He grinned back at her, and then suddenly his face was in her hands and she was pressing her lips to his. Wrapping his arms around her, Jack eagerly returned the kiss until his chest grew tight with a need for air, his congested lungs fighting with his carnal desires.
Sam dropped her hands and pulled back, allowing him to catch his breath, the air wheezing in his lungs, but a grin still on his face. “Sorry,” she murmured quickly with embarrassment. “I know this is wrong and we can’t… We’re not supposed to-“
Jack reached for her hand and squeezed it, still feeling a little breathless. He hoped his eyes showed his understanding.
“I don’t want to give this up,” Sam said firmly, licking her lips.
Nodding in sincere agreement, Jack opened his mouth to verbally reassure her, but he was overcome by a coughing fit and turned away, hunching over.
Sam gently thumped his back until the fit subsided, her hand still resting between his shoulder-blades until he collapsed back into the couch. “Easy.” She encouraged him to relax and got up to get a blanket, draping it over him when she returned.
“What time is it?” Jack asked with his head back, eyes closed. He heard Sam turn on the TV.
“Just after six.” Her hand moved to his shoulder. “How’s your leg?”
“Not bad.”
She was quiet for a little while, probably trying to figure out when he was due for his next round of painkillers. “I don’t think I’ve said it yet, but…I love you, too.”
A big grin tugged at the corners of Jack’s mouth and he opened his eyes to look at her. He cleared his throat and nodded. “Sweet.”
They spent the next few hours lounging on the couch together, watching movies and then later having cereal for dinner. By nine o’clock Jack was looking quite exhausted, struggling to stay awake, and Sam figured it was time she put him to bed. She got up slowly and held a hand out to halt him when he was about to do the same. “Wait here. Let me get your meds first, okay?”
Jack nodded drowsily and she quickly retrieved his painkillers and the pills for his chest congestion. After he’d taken them, Sam carefully helped Jack to his feet, pulling one arm across her shoulders and hanging onto his waist while he used a crutch under the other arm. Together they hobbled to his room where she pushed back the blankets and then deposited him gently on the bed.
“How’s your leg feeling, now?” Sam glanced at his injured limb, the brace bulging beneath his sweatpants.
“S’okay,” he murmured sleepily.
Sam adjusted the pillows at his back and then carefully moved one under his leg to elevate it. “Do you need to ice it again?”
He frowned and shivered, shaking his head and waving a hand. “No. No ice. Cold.”
She smiled a little. “Okay, okay. No ice.” Pulling the blankets over him, Sam turned out the lights and then started to leave the room until Jack called her back.
“Where y’goin’?” His voice was low and sounded a little worried.
Sam felt a warmth spread through her that and paused in the doorway. “I’m just going to change for bed and I’ll come back, alright?”
“Hm.” He nodded, and with the light from the hallway, Sam could see his eyes closing as he relaxed. “Hurry...back.”
She laughed as she stepped into the hall. Sam slipped into the spare room where her things were and quickly changed into some warm flannel lounge pants and a light blue Henley thermal top.
Jack’s eyes were still closed as she sidled up to the bed and crawled under the covers at his left side, curling up to him. He still had to lie with some pillows at his back to help with his breathing and the chest congestion, but he seemed at least somewhat comfortable. His breaths were low and even and Sam thought he was asleep until she slid her hand over his stomach and heard him hum contentedly.
“I don’t want this to go away,” Sam whispered as she buried her face in the crook of Jack’s shoulder, inhaling his scent.
“It won’t,” he rumbled, putting an arm around her.
Suddenly feeling a little insecure, Sam bit down on her lower lip, her fingers pulling slightly at his t-shirt. “What about when we have to go back to work?”
Jack sighed softly, a grunt escaping as his chest rose and fell. “We’ll worry about that…later.”
Sam nodded into his shoulder, but she was still worrying about it now.
.
Sunday
(Last Day of Vacation)
Jack was already up, sitting on the living room couch wrapped in a blanket and sipping a cup of coffee by the time Sam woke. She smiled down at him from the top of the steps, thinking of how she’d found him similarly on Thanksgiving morning. There was a fire blazing in the hearth, giving the entire room a cozy, warm feeling.
Having no desire for coffee just yet, Sam padded into the sunken lounge and moved to the couch, smiling when Jack silently lifted his blanket for her and sliding up against his side. She pressed her cheek against his shoulder, his warm flannel robe feeling soft against her skin, and smelling purely of him. “I really don’t want this to end,” she murmured.
“Who says it has to?” Jack rumbled, his voice rough from sleep.
She rested a hand on his chest, sliding it beneath his robe, her fingers clenching in the fabric of his shirt. “I don’t mean us, I just mean… Well, the holiday weekend. Daniel’s coming back tomorrow, and I have to return to work.” Sam had finally given in to her desires to be with Jack, pushing away all other concerns and deciding to allow herself to be happy, even if it had to be in secret. She deserved this. They deserved this.
“So?”
Sam pursed her lips. “So… I can’t stay here anymore. Daniel will be around. If I stay it’ll be too obvious-“
“I’ll retire,” Jack said suddenly, his arm around her giving her a squeeze.
She sighed softly. “Jack, no.”
“I won’t ask you to give up your career,” he told her, leaning forward a little to set his mug on the coffee table. Jack paused and cleared his throat when she didn’t say anything. “And I know you don’t want to have to lie to our friends, to General Hammond.”
Biting her lip, she nodded against him, her cheek still pressed to his shoulder, and fingers briefly clenching and unclenching against his chest.
Jack sighed. “I don’t wanna lie, either, but I don’t know what else to do.”
“You didn’t ask me to give up my career, Jack,” she said, finally lifting her head from his shoulder and leaning back so she could see his face. He was still sick, she had to remember, and he looked tired. Sam wondered how much sleep he’d really gotten. “And maybe I won’t have to,” she added.
His brows knit together. “What do you mean?”
With sudden clarity, Sam realized she’d come up with the perfect solution. “I can talk to General Hammond about taking a civilian position. I’ll come clean about my feelings for you and if I’m not in your chain of command, we can still pursue a relationship. I still might be able to join SG-1 in the field.”
“Sam, I dunno…” he began uneasily. “You’d still be expected to take orders from me.”
“So what? If the General okays it, we can handle it,” she continued, confidence spurring her on. “The Jack and Sam in that alternate reality that Daniel went to through the Quantum Mirror made it work. Who says we can’t? He was the base CO and she was a civilian doctor under his command.”
Jack sighed softly with a small smile, relenting. He rubbed her shoulder and nodded. “Okay. Okay, we’ll give it a try. But we’ll both talk to Hammond, alright?”
Sam nodded, smiling back at him.
Jack coughed, rubbed his chest, and then cleared his throat. “But if it doesn’t work, I retire.”
“Jack-“
“Sam,” he shot back. “Please. If it doesn’t work, let me do this.”
Pursing her lips, she agreed, leaning forward again to hug him and kiss his cheek. “Okay.” Sam sat beside him a while longer before deciding to get up and get herself some coffee.
She returned with her caffeinated drink as well as a glass of water for Jack and his pills. He took them with little resistance, letting her know that he hadn’t taken anything yet this morning. “Are you feeling any better?”
“Yeah.” He sipped at his water again. “Chest isn’t so bad now.”
“What about your leg?” Sam wanted to know. The injured leg, still in the brace, was hidden beneath the blankets and propped up on the coffee table.
“Not too bad,” he assured her without moving it.
“I’ll help you get the brace off when you get dressed. We’ll check for swelling then.”
Jack just nodded, obviously not relishing the thought of having to do that. He grimaced and stared toward the window.
Sam followed his gaze. It was snowing again. Part of her really hoped that a bad storm was on its way so that Daniel wouldn’t be able to make it over in the morning and she would be forced to stay with Jack for longer. No matter what happened, she wasn’t going to regret the last few days, and if Hammond or the Joint Chiefs, or whoever had a say in the matter didn’t agree with their plan, it didn’t matter. Sam knew that she wasn’t going to let go of Jack, and he wasn’t about to let go of her. They still had Plan B.
“Sam?” Jack murmured after a while, tiredly relaxing with his head on her shoulder.
“Yeah?” she responded slowly with a smile, finding the drowsy tone to his voice endearing.
“I’m glad you stayed.”
Taking in a deep breath, Sam nodded. “Me too, Jack,” she said softly with feeling, giddy with the fact that their lives were now changed for the better. She turned her head to capture his lips in a chaste, but loving kiss. “Me, too.”
-The End-