In Time: Jack vs. the Spider
Title: Jack vs. the Spider
Summary: Jack hates bugs. Especially indoors.
Timeframe: Any.
Characters/Pairing: Established SamJack
Genre: Humor, Fluff
Rating: PG
Note: BTW, this is all regularamanda's fault. She MADE me do it. :P
Jack vs. the Spider
A nice, calm, relaxing, work free afternoon was quickly disrupted by an unsettling thump from upstairs. Sam couldn’t imagine what her husband was up to on a such a nice Sunday afternoon that would cause such a ruckus.
“Sam! I need you!”
She rose a half-amused eyebrow. Well, that wasn’t quite the tone of voice she expected when Jack used those words. “What is it?” she called back, using a spoon to swirl the slice of lemon around her glass of iced tea.
“Can you come up here?”
Sam heaved a sigh, not really wanting to move. “What’s the matter?”
A pause. Some scrambling sounds. A loud, muffled curse. “Can you just come here? Please?”
“Jack, if you recall, I’m VERY pregnant right now and would rather not climb any stairs unless I have to,” she returned loudly.
“Well, pretend you have to!” Was that a pleading note to his voice?
More scrambling, followed by a thump.
Now Sam was a little worried. Either he’d hurt himself in some way, or he’d destroyed something up there. She didn’t know which was more troubling. “Are you okay, Jack?”
“Yes!” More noises; quick, rapid thumping. “No!”
Realizing she wasn’t going to get a straight answer shouting back and forth with him, Sam admitted defeat and slid off the kitchen stool with a humph. She abandoned her magazine and tall glass of iced tea, waddling toward the stairway.
It took Sam more time and energy to get up the stairs than she would’ve liked, and when she finally reached the top landing, she was very tired and aggravated. “Jack, you’d better be bleeding, or so help me-“ She stopped mid-tirade when she reached the bedroom door.
Jack was standing beside the bed with a rolled up newspaper in one hand, raised to strike. The linens and pillows had all been thrown from the bed, and the mattress was sitting askew on top of the box spring.
“What are you doing?”
“There’s a BIG, HONKIN’ spider crawling around somewhere up here!”
Sam just blinked at him, with a look that clearly stated, ‘I-can’t-believe-you-made-me-drag-myself-up-here-for-a-freaking-SPIDER.’
He sent her a pleading look. “Kill it?” Jack all but whined.
She narrowed her stare.
Jack took a tentative step back from the bed and Sam, withering under her gaze. “You know I hate bugs.” He pouted. He actually POUTED.
Sam rolled her eyes, shaking her head. But she smiled anyway. As pregnant and hormonal as she was, she still didn’t have the heart to be mad at him.
When she still said nothing, Jack started to get squirmy. “I hate bugs, Sam. HATE ‘em. Especially spiders.” He continued to blabber. “I mean, outside they’re fine, as long as they’re not crawling on me or touching me or anything, or…well the big giant off-world bugs don’t count, those are just…WRONG. Inside or outside. But bugs should NOT be inside. And ESPECIALLY not in my BED!” Physically shuddering, Jack made a squeamish face.
“Give it to me.” Sam held out her hand, and Jack shuffled over, handing her the rolled up paper.
Jack grinned sheepishly, then was courteous enough to shift the mattress and lift the blankets on the floor to find where the spider had gone. When he found it, crawling along the edge of the box spring, the arachnid was so small that Sam would have completely missed it if Jack hadn’t started jumping up and down and pointing while yelling, “Kill it! Kill it!”
Taking two waddling steps forward, Sam swung the paper, and with a loud thwack the little spider was nothing more than a grayish-black smear. She turned to her husband. “Better now?”
He sent her a big, dopey smile. “My hero.”
Sam turned slowly, and with one hand under her enormous belly, and the other at her lower back, she left the room. “You better remake the bed!”
“I love you!” Jack called after her, and Sam had to laugh.
She teasingly returned with a sarcastic, “Yeah, yeah.”
-The End-
Summary: Jack hates bugs. Especially indoors.
Timeframe: Any.
Characters/Pairing: Established SamJack
Genre: Humor, Fluff
Rating: PG
Note: BTW, this is all regularamanda's fault. She MADE me do it. :P
Jack vs. the Spider
A nice, calm, relaxing, work free afternoon was quickly disrupted by an unsettling thump from upstairs. Sam couldn’t imagine what her husband was up to on a such a nice Sunday afternoon that would cause such a ruckus.
“Sam! I need you!”
She rose a half-amused eyebrow. Well, that wasn’t quite the tone of voice she expected when Jack used those words. “What is it?” she called back, using a spoon to swirl the slice of lemon around her glass of iced tea.
“Can you come up here?”
Sam heaved a sigh, not really wanting to move. “What’s the matter?”
A pause. Some scrambling sounds. A loud, muffled curse. “Can you just come here? Please?”
“Jack, if you recall, I’m VERY pregnant right now and would rather not climb any stairs unless I have to,” she returned loudly.
“Well, pretend you have to!” Was that a pleading note to his voice?
More scrambling, followed by a thump.
Now Sam was a little worried. Either he’d hurt himself in some way, or he’d destroyed something up there. She didn’t know which was more troubling. “Are you okay, Jack?”
“Yes!” More noises; quick, rapid thumping. “No!”
Realizing she wasn’t going to get a straight answer shouting back and forth with him, Sam admitted defeat and slid off the kitchen stool with a humph. She abandoned her magazine and tall glass of iced tea, waddling toward the stairway.
It took Sam more time and energy to get up the stairs than she would’ve liked, and when she finally reached the top landing, she was very tired and aggravated. “Jack, you’d better be bleeding, or so help me-“ She stopped mid-tirade when she reached the bedroom door.
Jack was standing beside the bed with a rolled up newspaper in one hand, raised to strike. The linens and pillows had all been thrown from the bed, and the mattress was sitting askew on top of the box spring.
“What are you doing?”
“There’s a BIG, HONKIN’ spider crawling around somewhere up here!”
Sam just blinked at him, with a look that clearly stated, ‘I-can’t-believe-you-made-me-drag-myself-up-here-for-a-freaking-SPIDER.’
He sent her a pleading look. “Kill it?” Jack all but whined.
She narrowed her stare.
Jack took a tentative step back from the bed and Sam, withering under her gaze. “You know I hate bugs.” He pouted. He actually POUTED.
Sam rolled her eyes, shaking her head. But she smiled anyway. As pregnant and hormonal as she was, she still didn’t have the heart to be mad at him.
When she still said nothing, Jack started to get squirmy. “I hate bugs, Sam. HATE ‘em. Especially spiders.” He continued to blabber. “I mean, outside they’re fine, as long as they’re not crawling on me or touching me or anything, or…well the big giant off-world bugs don’t count, those are just…WRONG. Inside or outside. But bugs should NOT be inside. And ESPECIALLY not in my BED!” Physically shuddering, Jack made a squeamish face.
“Give it to me.” Sam held out her hand, and Jack shuffled over, handing her the rolled up paper.
Jack grinned sheepishly, then was courteous enough to shift the mattress and lift the blankets on the floor to find where the spider had gone. When he found it, crawling along the edge of the box spring, the arachnid was so small that Sam would have completely missed it if Jack hadn’t started jumping up and down and pointing while yelling, “Kill it! Kill it!”
Taking two waddling steps forward, Sam swung the paper, and with a loud thwack the little spider was nothing more than a grayish-black smear. She turned to her husband. “Better now?”
He sent her a big, dopey smile. “My hero.”
Sam turned slowly, and with one hand under her enormous belly, and the other at her lower back, she left the room. “You better remake the bed!”
“I love you!” Jack called after her, and Sam had to laugh.
She teasingly returned with a sarcastic, “Yeah, yeah.”
-The End-