002 - Official Food Rationer Jaye Reporting For Duty!
Looks like I'm in charge of the food from now on. The psychologist said so, so don't go questioning my authority. My authority is very unquestionable! And I'll be sleeping in the kitchen with one eye open, so nobody try any funny stuff in the middle of the night!
Times are hard, but you should think of this as a test of moral character. If any of us survive the inevitable spree of food-jealousy-inspired murders until there's no food left, we can work out a rota of who gets to eat whose flesh later on. And we'll all be better people for it. Or something. Whatever.
Instead of thinking about how hungry you are, think about this riddle: There are three starving men in a lifeboat, only one cigarette, and no matches. How do they smoke?
If anyone wants to be a Deputy Food Rationer, I'm holding interviews later tonight and tomorrow. Please apply within. Trust me, I don't want all these hoops either, but the lion told me I had to take this job seriously.
Hey Admiral, can I get a badge so I look more official? 'Cause I wouldn't take me seriously unless I had a badge.
[ooc: Jaye has barricaded all entrances to the kitchen except the one she's sitting right in front of. She could really care less if you want to steal food, but she's been informed by her talking wax lion that she cannot allow anyone to take more food than is rationed to them. But if you really want to steal food, assume she let you do it unless you're really nice and would go away if she told you to. Or unless you're Rick.
Because she's a bit of a hypocrite, she's stolen several cases of beer and two bottles of vodka and hidden them in her room.]
Times are hard, but you should think of this as a test of moral character. If any of us survive the inevitable spree of food-jealousy-inspired murders until there's no food left, we can work out a rota of who gets to eat whose flesh later on. And we'll all be better people for it. Or something. Whatever.
Instead of thinking about how hungry you are, think about this riddle: There are three starving men in a lifeboat, only one cigarette, and no matches. How do they smoke?
If anyone wants to be a Deputy Food Rationer, I'm holding interviews later tonight and tomorrow. Please apply within. Trust me, I don't want all these hoops either, but the lion told me I had to take this job seriously.
Hey Admiral, can I get a badge so I look more official? 'Cause I wouldn't take me seriously unless I had a badge.
[ooc: Jaye has barricaded all entrances to the kitchen except the one she's sitting right in front of. She could really care less if you want to steal food, but she's been informed by her talking wax lion that she cannot allow anyone to take more food than is rationed to them. But if you really want to steal food, assume she let you do it unless you're really nice and would go away if she told you to. Or unless you're Rick.
Because she's a bit of a hypocrite, she's stolen several cases of beer and two bottles of vodka and hidden them in her room.]