ups and downs
God is so amazingly good and faithful. It's just totally unbelievable and inexplicable. Seriously... i have asked so many times, "why" this or that. I've wondered why all these people have been put in my life, why i keep in touch with them, why they all seem to be so comfortable bearing their souls.. why i don't feel like i can reciprocate to any of them completely (granted- diff. ppl know different parts of the whole.. but the whole is never fully unleashed). I know i have problems opening up and stuff, but its really a blessing because i learn to lean so much more on God. I have to... where else could i go? who else gets it... actually gets it all. So last night i was talkin with an old friend.. probably we go back the farthest. Anyhow we were having chitchat about stuff and a prayer that i had been praying was totally fulfilled and made clear. i always want to live my life by example. i don't want to come across as pushing my ideas or beliefs.. but rather just living them. i am a listener/observer. i am happy to just be and be quiet. well this friend said she felt that i was her friend because i was always the same/always someone she could turn to who didn't change/who didn't have a biased opinion/ who would always listen and listen again. she thanked me for "being a listening ear." i'm pretty sure if you scour these journals you will find me complaining that all i am is a "listening ear." I mean my words (verbatum) she said which totally answered my prayer of how to be a better example to these ppl in my life.. not by pressing, but by being. i'm sure this blog isn't an accurate redition of what i'm trying to express.. but let me tell you.. i was on cloud nine for sure last night at 2am. i promise i have not been this joyful in a while. it was just another clear picture and testimony to the reality of God.
This week i'm going to need so much more lifting up. we got another poor prognosis on gramps. they are putting in a picc line and a permanent drain for the ascites. he is being dismissed from the liver specialist and is expected to start being in much more pain. i pray that the pain is minimal and that there is grace. i know there is. i know it will be ok. i know it, somehow.
saw kiel today. he goes active and leaves for iraq in january. there were lots of hugs and pics today. i love my cousin, but he states over and over how invincible he is.. i tried to get it out of his head.. to no avail.
today was the open house for the Heart Center Dr.'s new place in the ACC. Dr. basher and sharif were both super giddy. I also met Dr. Mackrell there.
today we had trio practice at 9 at seths. we meet every other week. we broke out xmas music tonight.
i'm meeting Janna and the realtor on Friday at 1030 to talk about getting the house on Nelson St. to rent. we shall see how things go.
This week i'm going to need so much more lifting up. we got another poor prognosis on gramps. they are putting in a picc line and a permanent drain for the ascites. he is being dismissed from the liver specialist and is expected to start being in much more pain. i pray that the pain is minimal and that there is grace. i know there is. i know it will be ok. i know it, somehow.
saw kiel today. he goes active and leaves for iraq in january. there were lots of hugs and pics today. i love my cousin, but he states over and over how invincible he is.. i tried to get it out of his head.. to no avail.
today was the open house for the Heart Center Dr.'s new place in the ACC. Dr. basher and sharif were both super giddy. I also met Dr. Mackrell there.
today we had trio practice at 9 at seths. we meet every other week. we broke out xmas music tonight.
i'm meeting Janna and the realtor on Friday at 1030 to talk about getting the house on Nelson St. to rent. we shall see how things go.