Certain patrons are not amused. It is the risk we run. Being an impostor by birth - this was not a life-choice, I assure you - it is a hard truth that some people will be offended by my existence, and no matter how convincingly I present my case, they will still harbour a profound desire to pummel me unconscious at the first sign of an empty street ( Read more... )

Men and women, two closely connected but ultimately disparate genders, have been researched time and time again, but never has anyone come up with a viable way for them to live together in harmony and secure the future of the human race ( Read more... )

 I've got nothing to say.
Get over it.

Why do ugly people still secretly want attractive partners? That's hardly fair. Fairly hard, too, but hardly fair either way.

Yodo? Not me.

Back to the cryochamber now. Happy fucking.

 "What are you waiting for ( Read more... )

 Each day he woke, washed and worked. Except weekends. Weekends were when Steven stretched his legs and stayed at home, reading women's magazines. Of the particular year I'm narrating, this routine was upheld on all but one occasion, where he couldn't be bothered going down to the newsagents ( Read more... )

Recently I have been contemplating the ins and outs of the pussy, if you'll pardon the stench, in an effort to discover just why the sordid thing eludes me so, and after careful deliberation I have come to the conclusion that despite (or to spite) Germaine Greer, women - the owners of said orifice - are so tied up with patriarchal traditions that ( Read more... )

Yes. Hi there. Not Quite Boda here. Call me Bodo.
I'm sure we'll have a lot of times, be they good or bad.
Just wait for the fun to roll in.

Which will probably be after I get some idea of what to say.
Bore soon.