kiss me, i'm shitfaced.
i think i'm barren.
you were out of my league.
i hate how the blow's songs are so fucking catchy. i feel like i should throw on some polka dots and mary janes.
again.
don't write me poems if you don't mean what you say in them. i'd rather not be lied to, especially through poetry. that just seems all kinds of wrong. stop putting ideas in my head.
i'm going to start playing drums. my goal is to be like:
all i need is a singer guitarist chick girl and a tambourine girl, and there you have it.
i'm going back to spc. paid for my classes and books today. it seems so surreal. and i am excited. seriously. i really am thankful i was given the chance to go back. this is my shot to prove to everyone i'm not as stupid as i look, and i can make something out of myself.
i'm too unstable to work full-time anyways. i've done it before, and i don't want to do it again anytime soon.
i'd rather be poor walking around, then driving around with a bunch of money. i seem to always get myself in trouble when i'm doing well. isn't that funny? how you can be doing so well financially, but emotionally, everything is so wrong.
i guess that's the difference between myself and a lot of people. i would rather be happy than rich. i tried having a lot of money to see how happy it could made me, and it didn't work out too well. i guess that's why i'm looked down on by so many. i could care, or i couldn't.
i don't.
not so much, anyway.
so, i guess my "plan" is to finish out this semester at good ole' st. pete college, get a part-time job, save up money for once, get off probation, and move to tallahassee with bobby and nicole. as long as i keep my head straight, and don't backtrack. i can do it.
it really does seem practical. for so many reasons. one big one, for the fact bobby and nicole don't do drugs. i can't be around it anymore. and no worrying about where to hide the pot plants if cops come by.
it's the difference between being DESTRUCTIVE and CONSTRUCTIVE.
and everyone keeps telling me to get away. to get the fuck out of this area. and i couldn't agree more. and this year has never seemed more like a better time.
my parents support the idea, because they know what's around here. they know who i associate with. they know i know where to find anything and everything.
it's like that stupid nickelback song .. everybody has a drug dealer on speed dial or whatever?
true.
as i get older, and years do pass, i realize i can't expect the world to change around me. it's me who has to change the world. i've got to change my ways.
everyone else is on their own.