"I still remember when we were young and fragile then...."
Give me a break, now mister
You've got me all wrong.
You've got me holding on to things
You've said and done.
I see you struggling.
Oh, I've been there before.
And I promise that it never gets easier.
All the lines have been crossed
And your message was lost.
I know how it seems
But it's not what I mean.
Will you please forgive me mister?
You've got me all wrong.
If you could please forgive me mister
You live and you learn.
Please forgive me.
Now you've seen your treasure,
You've traveled your course.
Now you wonder how it could of all worked out.
And my hearts been broken
And I've paid the cost
But I just can't seem to forgive myself.
All the things that I've done,
All the things that I've said,
I could never believe
That they came from my head.
Will you please forgive me mister?
You've got me all wrong.
If you could please forgive me mister
You live and you learn.
Please forgive me.
All the things that I've done,
All the things that I've said,
I could never believe
That they came from my head.
Will you please forgive me mister?
You've got me all wrong.
Will you please forgive me mister?
You live and you learn.
Will you please forgive me mister?
You've got me all wrong.
If you could please forgive me mister?
You live and you learn.
Please forgive me.
And give me a break
I think I don't remember what I look like.
I never picture myself, though I look at myself all the time. There's a chance I'm only checking the mirror out of curiosity, because there is something unusual about seeing myself the way that I am.
I don't consciencely acknowledge that I have blue hair and a bunch of metal in my face, although I am aware of it. I just don't think about it. And to this day it feels strange when people tell me they think my blue hair is my trademark. If I lose my blue hair, do I lose my trademark and my credibility? Am I only who I am because people think of me that way? Do I lose status, lose my charm or lose my flare because I shave my head?
I look at pictures of myself and am awed by what I see. Not because I think I'm particularly photogenic, or because I am conceited, but because I want to see me how other people might see me. Not posing for pictures, but candid camera shots. I love getting pictures of myself with my friends, especially when we don't know a picture is being taken. I'm fascinated in trying to see myself how other's see me. Not out of self consciousness or, again, conceit, but because I'm fascinated by how human minds work. I always wonder why miss communications happen, and why sometimes people can't understand each other no matter what they say or the body language does. If I could see myself the way other's see me, there's a chance I could understand why I wasn't communicating my thoughts very well. I could also see and perceive my actions and words from a different perspective, so I can correct some of the things I do without realizing it.
When I picture myself, a lot of images from when I was 14 pop into my head. I think I liked being me most then. I had an amazing group of friends who all got along flawlessly and all was good in the world. It sorta seems that time is coming again though.
I think that I was happiest being myself when I was fourteen, but seventeen is looking pretty sweet. Sadie's house is a godsend, and that group of people are simply an amazing eclectic mix of personalities that are a wonder in themselves. I'm stoked on my job, I'm diggin' on my friends, I'm lovin' on my Jeremie, I'm pretty much owning school..... life is sweet.
And I have a washing machine again.
Had to space that on it's own for emphasis. I was out of underwear there for a while. Life is good. And thus, I ramble. I even managed to (for once) successfully use a DIY Bikini Wax kit, with little or no crying! And my wee baby plant friend is not taller, but is very much greener. And I just kicked more ass than I thought I was capable of at an essay on existential philosophy, Aristotle's theory of tragedy and the stylistic technique that applies to Death of a Salesman. And I was awesome. And speaking of awesome, I will soon possibly be the ALMIGHTY of awesome, because I am about to prepare a portfolio of my art and makeup to bring to Toby from Blanche MacDonald so I can job shadow with him and quite possibly not even have to spend 13fucking000 dollars to learn to make zombies and go directly to the industry. DO NOT STOP. DO NOT PASS GO. GO DIRECTLY TO MOVIE INDUSTRY.
Fuck Yes,
and goodnight.
KDMG.