"And breathe, just breathe..."
That was the weirdest thing in the world. I had this song stuck in my head that we always play at Value Village, so I typed the lyrics into google, and the song it came up with was the same song that Hailee just mentioned the name of (the name I didn't know) in her journal I was reading. Fucked up....
2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
( Read more... )
2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
( Read more... )
Why?
Who the fuck knows. Could it be because I'm sick of being so fucking known? Is it the reputations I have out there? Perchance it's because there's no better way to find out who you are than running away, starting anew with what you know now, and see how people treat you far away where they've never heard your name before? How do we know who we genuinely are if we're constantly pressured into thinking we are who we are based on how people treat us? Maybe it's a control thing?
Or maybe it's just human nature?
Maybe we just crave change.
Whatever the fuck it is, again, lovely Kara, you are not alone. You're normal.
(First time I've ever mentioned this: You would not believe how many times I take a couple bucks out of the bank, stare at my bank statement and calculate how many hours of work away I am from a one-way-ticket to freedom. Wierd, huh?)
"Thinking that the world is all against you,
But you don't know you've been up against it.
Head is banging on the wall so long,
But you can't even feel it.
No! You're not alone.
No! You're not alone.
You blame it on society, but they don't really even know ya.
'Cause you never went out and enjoyed it.
You're going nowhere faster!
You're not alone! No!
You're not alone! No!
You're not alone, you're not."
You know why I bought my acoustic bass? So I can put it in the bag it came with, and I can skateboard as far as my legs will carry me, stop, play until my arms stop working (in a place so fucking desolate it might as well be buttfuck nowhere), and skate back. All with my cell turned off.
We all like escape from time to time. Even if things are going perfectly fine. That's why there's such thing as "vacation days".
But again, everything, including escape, is good for you as long it's practiced with moderation and with your head about you.
Nice metaphor:
"I need more people to hold my hands, and make a loop. A loop that stretches to the beach, to concerts, to road trips, to movies, to dinner, to other countries. The only catch is, we all have to switch places every once in a while so you're standing with a different section of the loop, and you catch a different view of your surroundings. I think I've been standing in my part of the loop for a little too long and I need a change of scenery pretty desperately."
Hehe. Makes sense, I supposed. But allow me to retort: "The more you rely on other people, the less control you, yourself, are in, and you leave yourself vulnerable and susceptable to let down."
You're in control here kiddo. Keep it that way. Friends will help you for fun here, but they shouldn't be the source.
Regardless, I'm here for you when you feel like exploiting that fact.
I don't want to step on any toes, and I don't want people to get the wrong idea or feel remotely threatened: But I'd like to see you more. ("Moderation and your head about you...")
That being said, I fuckin' dare you to bitch about being lonely now.
Well, we got plans for dinner tomorrow. That's going to be fun. Bring a big bag. It's been a while since I've stolen something. And they got the best free bread at 'Sketti Factory. It'll be nice to see you again, my friend. No matter how soon, it's always been too long.
I'm going to join you in sleep now. I have to be up at the ass-crack of dawn for practice. We are mondo-dedicated 'cause we got a once in a lifetime chance for a demo dealio.
But yeah, I'm here for you, kiddo.
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