Being Ereshkigal
Many years ago ... 2000, I think it was ... some of us spent a week with Inanna in her journey to the Underworld. I remember the garments, tools, and badges of office that she had to shed at each of the seven gates. I recall her devastating conversation with her older sister, Ereshkigal, that ended with Inanna's lifeless body hanging from a meathook.
In all the work of that summer, I never imagined that one day I would be aspecting Erishkegal. (The spellings are interchangeable, depending on which source I look at. Must be the transliteration of an ancient Sumerian language about which I know too little).
Earlier this month I was asked to invite the Queen of the Underworld to speak through me. My dreams have been haunted, heated, aggressive, demanding. My sleep has been disturbed. Several times I have found myself moving part way into Aspect while rolling over in momentary wakefulness.
Today was the day.
Even though I was also responsible for significant and unpredictable logistical solutions, both before and during the work, I found myself Present to Her in a way I have not experienced before, not even when Aspecting other deities.
Part of it is that the Assembly's methodology is very different from the Reclaiming technique I have used over the years. Part of it is the much longer dwell time between assignment and fulfillment. But I think lots of it is just Who Erishkigal is, and a lot of the rest is just what the assignment was.
My assignment was to not take no for an answer. To demand that the central figure stretch and grow, move into action and change, step firmly out of a comfort zone long established. The central figure's chief challenge is a tendency to intellectualize and to over-verbalize. Does this sound familiar?
It's only a few hours later, and already my experience of Her is fading. But here is what I recall of what she said, every word of which seemed aimed at my own heart:
* You have courage, and courage will not be enough.
* You must trust the process. It is not enough to trust your well-educated brain, your logical structure.
* The arrogance of your confidence in your own intellect is the single biggest block to your greater psychic experience and power.
* When you find yourself in chaos, you still look for answers to 'why' and 'how' questions; no matter what is asked of you, you have been seeking to 'figure it out.' What if the 'answer' cannot be 'figured'?
* Too often I see you choosing to drown, holding tight to the burdens of your upbringing, your thoughts, your analytical habits, even though by letting them go you would be able to float free.
* Too often I see you choosing to attempt to control what cannot be controlled, to negotiate with forces that give no quarter, to bargain instead of boldly stepping forward.
Other deities were present, their voices swirling about me. One that I heard said, "Survival is not guaranteed. If you are to earn rebirth you will need to give up everything you hold dear, you will need to trust yourself in a new way. If you try to hold onto the old ways you will surely perish." Later that same voice said, "What is it that you are promising to do now? If you don't tell me this I will slay you here."
What would it mean to experience my own feelings at the level at which I was experiencing Erishkegal's? What would it mean to live my life in such a clear and focused place?
It is hours later, the house is quiet, and I am bone tired. And much enlightened by the Princess of Darkness.
Blessed Be.
In all the work of that summer, I never imagined that one day I would be aspecting Erishkegal. (The spellings are interchangeable, depending on which source I look at. Must be the transliteration of an ancient Sumerian language about which I know too little).
Earlier this month I was asked to invite the Queen of the Underworld to speak through me. My dreams have been haunted, heated, aggressive, demanding. My sleep has been disturbed. Several times I have found myself moving part way into Aspect while rolling over in momentary wakefulness.
Today was the day.
Even though I was also responsible for significant and unpredictable logistical solutions, both before and during the work, I found myself Present to Her in a way I have not experienced before, not even when Aspecting other deities.
Part of it is that the Assembly's methodology is very different from the Reclaiming technique I have used over the years. Part of it is the much longer dwell time between assignment and fulfillment. But I think lots of it is just Who Erishkigal is, and a lot of the rest is just what the assignment was.
My assignment was to not take no for an answer. To demand that the central figure stretch and grow, move into action and change, step firmly out of a comfort zone long established. The central figure's chief challenge is a tendency to intellectualize and to over-verbalize. Does this sound familiar?
It's only a few hours later, and already my experience of Her is fading. But here is what I recall of what she said, every word of which seemed aimed at my own heart:
* You have courage, and courage will not be enough.
* You must trust the process. It is not enough to trust your well-educated brain, your logical structure.
* The arrogance of your confidence in your own intellect is the single biggest block to your greater psychic experience and power.
* When you find yourself in chaos, you still look for answers to 'why' and 'how' questions; no matter what is asked of you, you have been seeking to 'figure it out.' What if the 'answer' cannot be 'figured'?
* Too often I see you choosing to drown, holding tight to the burdens of your upbringing, your thoughts, your analytical habits, even though by letting them go you would be able to float free.
* Too often I see you choosing to attempt to control what cannot be controlled, to negotiate with forces that give no quarter, to bargain instead of boldly stepping forward.
Other deities were present, their voices swirling about me. One that I heard said, "Survival is not guaranteed. If you are to earn rebirth you will need to give up everything you hold dear, you will need to trust yourself in a new way. If you try to hold onto the old ways you will surely perish." Later that same voice said, "What is it that you are promising to do now? If you don't tell me this I will slay you here."
What would it mean to experience my own feelings at the level at which I was experiencing Erishkegal's? What would it mean to live my life in such a clear and focused place?
It is hours later, the house is quiet, and I am bone tired. And much enlightened by the Princess of Darkness.
Blessed Be.