Now it begins
Today's the day.
The sky is light. Outside my window a band of pink grows from the horizon, sun up and in my eyes abruptly at 6:47. In a few minutes I'll put the last things into the backpack, load the car, and leave. Spend the day in driving, carrying (and maybe ferrying) supplies to basecamp, setting up. Preparing.
This time tomorrow I leave basecamp to hike to my own private campsite. Just me, my water, and my gear for 24 hours. The rules are: no human contact, no shelter, no food. Bring with you whatever supports your process; leave behind whatever distracts you from yourSelf.
I'm bringing a journal, a silk scarf to dye in the sun and help me anchor my experience, a tiny drum.
I'm still carrying too much stuff ... clothes (omigosh-what-if-I-get-cold), groundcloths and tarps (...-if-I-get-wet). Just this morning I realize I can probably shed some of that -- and may go pull stuff out of the pack at the last minute before departing, we'll see.
I dunno as I'm still carrying too much stuff ... tools-and-toys. Maybe. Just now I'm down to a spool of thread, a spool of string, a singing bell. Four ribbons in the colors of our journey together.
Over the past few days I've deleted several things that got themselves onto the list by looking like 'spiritual practice' and got themselves off again when they began to look like 'projects' or 'excess' in some way. Deleted: the meditation cushion I never even packed; the folding camp chair someone suggested (the one I own is far too heavy, I just gave away one of the backstrap ones because it no longer serves me, I'll sit against a tree or rock, or else maybe I'll spend the time lying down). Deleted: duplicates of several clothing items. Probably I'll dump the third pair of nylon trousers next.
Deleted: first the mala, then the prayer beads. My process went something like this: I've been wanting to string these since September, this would be a great time to write the prayers to go with them, no that's a project and besides the bag of raw material is too heavy, ok I'll string them the night before I go and just take the finished beads with me. So I strung them, thinking as I did so about what each bead represents. And when I'd finished, I put them away -- they don't want to come out into the wilderness, they just wanted to be complete, and attended to. Next week I can start writing prayers.
Deleted: first the rattle, then the penny-whistle (or maybe that's in the base-camp bag?). The drum I'm keeping, at least as far as base camp.
Deleted: the watercolor paints I thought of first, and never packed (they're SO heavy). The sketchbook and pastels a friend suggested might serve.
Never considered: a crochet project, though there's always something in my hand on a long trip unless I'm driving. This I recognize at once as a distraction, though, and I virtually never work on one unless there's talk or TV in the background ... it's more 'something to do with my hands while I'm listening' than it is 'something fully engaging'.
There are other things I've pulled away from, some listed in the journal that's already packed.
I see that there may be more paring down tonight, or conceivably even this morning at the assembly point. We'll see.
So far the lessons of this work have been: Focus on what's important. Keep it simple and light. Attend to your own process. Collect all the information and then make an informed choice. It's not necessary for something to be 'wrong' to be 'not necessary now.' It's not necessary for something to be 'included' just because it's 'right' or 'valuable.'Be present. Be focused. Be here now.
It's 6:59. The sun is full in my face as I type. Downstairs the clock chimes 7 a.m. It's time.
Blessed Be.
--
The sky is light. Outside my window a band of pink grows from the horizon, sun up and in my eyes abruptly at 6:47. In a few minutes I'll put the last things into the backpack, load the car, and leave. Spend the day in driving, carrying (and maybe ferrying) supplies to basecamp, setting up. Preparing.
This time tomorrow I leave basecamp to hike to my own private campsite. Just me, my water, and my gear for 24 hours. The rules are: no human contact, no shelter, no food. Bring with you whatever supports your process; leave behind whatever distracts you from yourSelf.
I'm bringing a journal, a silk scarf to dye in the sun and help me anchor my experience, a tiny drum.
I'm still carrying too much stuff ... clothes (omigosh-what-if-I-get-cold), groundcloths and tarps (...-if-I-get-wet). Just this morning I realize I can probably shed some of that -- and may go pull stuff out of the pack at the last minute before departing, we'll see.
I dunno as I'm still carrying too much stuff ... tools-and-toys. Maybe. Just now I'm down to a spool of thread, a spool of string, a singing bell. Four ribbons in the colors of our journey together.
Over the past few days I've deleted several things that got themselves onto the list by looking like 'spiritual practice' and got themselves off again when they began to look like 'projects' or 'excess' in some way. Deleted: the meditation cushion I never even packed; the folding camp chair someone suggested (the one I own is far too heavy, I just gave away one of the backstrap ones because it no longer serves me, I'll sit against a tree or rock, or else maybe I'll spend the time lying down). Deleted: duplicates of several clothing items. Probably I'll dump the third pair of nylon trousers next.
Deleted: first the mala, then the prayer beads. My process went something like this: I've been wanting to string these since September, this would be a great time to write the prayers to go with them, no that's a project and besides the bag of raw material is too heavy, ok I'll string them the night before I go and just take the finished beads with me. So I strung them, thinking as I did so about what each bead represents. And when I'd finished, I put them away -- they don't want to come out into the wilderness, they just wanted to be complete, and attended to. Next week I can start writing prayers.
Deleted: first the rattle, then the penny-whistle (or maybe that's in the base-camp bag?). The drum I'm keeping, at least as far as base camp.
Deleted: the watercolor paints I thought of first, and never packed (they're SO heavy). The sketchbook and pastels a friend suggested might serve.
Never considered: a crochet project, though there's always something in my hand on a long trip unless I'm driving. This I recognize at once as a distraction, though, and I virtually never work on one unless there's talk or TV in the background ... it's more 'something to do with my hands while I'm listening' than it is 'something fully engaging'.
There are other things I've pulled away from, some listed in the journal that's already packed.
I see that there may be more paring down tonight, or conceivably even this morning at the assembly point. We'll see.
So far the lessons of this work have been: Focus on what's important. Keep it simple and light. Attend to your own process. Collect all the information and then make an informed choice. It's not necessary for something to be 'wrong' to be 'not necessary now.' It's not necessary for something to be 'included' just because it's 'right' or 'valuable.'Be present. Be focused. Be here now.
It's 6:59. The sun is full in my face as I type. Downstairs the clock chimes 7 a.m. It's time.
Blessed Be.
--