Let's Play Lufia 2: Rise of the Sinistrals.
Chapter 30: Senior Citizenship at Last.
"MORE exploring? Can't we just get to the fight-y parts now?"
"No can do. There's still more loot to be had."
"I'm still proud of you, though; now you too know the glory of not wasting any more time on this nonsense."
"Like.... uh, another Miracle."
"Miiirakuru Mikuruuuu."
"Whotta bunch of nnnnnnneeeeeerds."
"Oh, look; the elf boy is talking about nerdery."
"Takes one to know one, I guess."
"And... uh, another one."
"Shall I engage the Miracle counter?"
"Yes, please."
"Hm, well, this room looks like an encounter waiting to happen."
"Well, you know what we have to do, right?"
"Sure do."
"Uh... that's... not what I meant."
"But nothing. Loot makes point moot. Or something."
"Ladies and gentlemen; the ramblin' elf."
"Nice view, though."
"Sure is."
"Still, we got places to go and Sinistrals to kill."
*sigh* "I know."
"Um... I'm sure we weren't supposed to go this way either."
"Well, we can't very well leave any Miracles unturned now, can we?"
"Or un... opened?"
"It'll be a miracle-chugging party."
"Well, at least we can save in the middle."
"What a weird thing to think about now of all times."
"Well, if there is a more important time, I'd like to know it."
"Um... fair enough, I guess."
"Yep, and just as easily as when we met on that tower. So I guess the question you should ask yourself right now, Mr. Amon, is this: do you feel lucky? Well... do you, punk?"
"How dare you?!"
"In my face?! Have you been talking to Dekar?"
"No, I... what the hell are you talking about?"
"Oh, only that the two of you have a strange fascination with power in other people's faces."
"You two are nudge nudge wink wink brothers, aren't you?"
"I have no idea what the hell you two are talking about. Now, die please."
"......"
"I guess you haven't been doing much working out, have you?"
"Oh, shut up! I have other attacks."
"......."
"Well.... it's better."
"Not nearly enough, though."
"Nope."
"My turn."
"My my, what a devious grin."
"Uh.... we can talk about this, can't we?"
"Yeah, talk to the sword, 'cause the hand ain't listening."
"Well... I guess he won't be earning his bonus this year."
"Evil Gods get bonuses?"
"Well, why not? It's discrimination otherwise."
"Yes, of course."
"......"
"HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?!"
"Oh great. More hallways. Daos could have been more considerate than that, having us walk all around this place."
"That... that jerk!"
"Oh. Right. Of course. Forgot about those."
"Five, six, seven."
"All dogs go to heaven."
"Those bastards are sure going to do that."
"See? Now that is considerate."
"Or just plain stupid."
"He's daring us now?"
"Oh great. What's he gonna do next? Do the 'boc boc boc' thing while waving his elbows like a chicken?"
"I didn't want THAT mental image."
"Because those guys aren't doing crap. Much as they'd deserve living under an evil regime of death...."
"Let's... not go there, Maxim."
"You guys coming or what?"
"Yeah. Stop staring at Maxim's sword. It ain't getting any bigger."
"Hur hur."
"......."
"And now they're jinxing us."
"We need to stop them before they start talking about returning to their family or retiring or something."
"You mean like muerte?"
"Well... I guess. If I knew what the hell you were talking about."
"That's no big deal. I know a revive spell too."
"Well... good for you, I guess."
"Can you make them stronger, though? I mean... Gades and Amon were kind of pushovers, so it's not really going to matter however many times you revive them."
"I'm afraid not. However..."
"...I could always fight you instead."
"Pffft. That was your plan from the beginning, wasn't it?"
"Holy crap, she's hot. You girls might actually be getting some competition from her."
"That's... not the best armor I've ever seen, though. It's got a boob window straight to her heart."
"Are you done staring now?"
"Yeah, guys. Are you done staring?"
"Um... actually... you were the one who eyeballed me the most."
"Seriously? That's.... kind of depressing, actually."
"Not that I want to waste your time, Lady Erim, but..."
"Yes, yes."
"Yes, that's... quite the devastation there."
"Hmm. No good, huh? Well, next on the list is..."
"...OUCH!"
"What the... Arty, wait your turn."
"What?! We were supposed to defeat her, right?"
"You're being quite rude to the Lady."
*sigh* "I don't get you guys."
"Ow! That... actually hurt."
"Oh yes, that's more like it."
"Glad to serve. Now, shall I try stabbing you with this long thing in my hand next?"
"Oooh, how Freudian."
"Well... I guess that's it for me, then."
"I... feel kind of bad now. Did it really have to come to this, Erim?"
"Blargh! What a clichéd answer. You're so full of yourself."
"Yeah, that sounded kind of pretentious, didn't it?"
"Well... actually, we're just going with the tried and true method of indiscriminate stabbings."
"And I'm sure I could dig up a few spells that'd suit the occasion."
"That's more like it."
"Aaah, good ol' violence. Always the perfect choice for any mediation."
"But before that, let's spend one of the thousand miracles we picked up on the way, because yeesh..."
"Wasn't really necessary, but thanks anyway."
"No problem at all. I mean... we got more Miracles than Charred Newt, for Chrissakes."
"Well, I guess this is it."
"This kind of looks like that glass thing we were dared to cross not long ago, doesn't it?"
"Three down, one to go, huh?"
"Yeah, well... Erim's attacks did actually have some impact, so... I'm actually kind of worried about this fight."
"There was quite the discrepancy in her attack power compared to Gades and Amon, huh?"
"Yeah, well, said superior people generally aren't such childish assholes about their superiority."
"And don't speak of superiority when we've already taken care of three of you, some of them more than once."
"Even if we did get our asses whipped the first time we met Gades. And Amon, technically."
"We closed that gap in a jiffy, though."
"Do you always talk this much?"
"Oh, like you're one to lecture us about it, Mr. 'Why Aren't You Worshipping Us For Not Crushing You Now Let Me Tell You All About It'?"
"Hah! Got you there, didn't I?"
"Well, perhaps you losers are here to represent good, in which case, maybe you'll put up a good fight?"
"Har har. You must be the evil mastermind of terrible jokes."
"Uh... OK? So, there is one more Sinistral, then?"
"Nope. I'm the only one left."
"But... when will we meet up with this Arek, then?"
"You lot? Probably never."
"Never? Well, that's disappointing."
"Stop stalling, you fools. We have important things to settle."
"You sure have some issues to settle there, Daos ol' buddy."
"So, if Arek is 'Arek the Absolute', then what does that make you? Daos the.... Dainty?"
"Haha, good one. Let me try. You're Daos the... uh, Dastardly."
"Ooh, my turn. Daos the Delinquent."
"......"
"He's Daos the Dunce."
"Anyone seen that cap?"
"Guys, seriously."
"Daos the Drunken Master."
"That's too cool for school for that guy."
"Daos the Dogmatic?"
"Ain't that the truth."
"Hmm. How about Daos the Disagreeable?"
"Too normal. How about Daos the Donkey Puncher."
"Pin the Daos on the Donkey."
"Oh, Happy Daos are here at last."
"Stop it!"
"Seven Nights, One Daos."
"Oh man, that sounds rather hot, I must admit."
"WILL YOU FOUR SHUT UP?!"
"Straight into attacking, huh?"
"Well... I guess it kind of hurt?"
"Erim's attacks packed more of a punch, though."
"Oh, fine. Let's up the ante a bit."
"When you said 'a bit', you weren't kidding."
"This doesn't really hurt all that much more at all, though."
"In fact, it hurt me even less."
"Gnaargh! OK, no more Mr. Nice Sinistral."
"That... looks familiar."
"One of the summon spells. I think I have that one."
"But the more important question is this; will it hurt?"
"Daos... your damage output is kind of uneven, my friend."
"Not to mention pitiful."
"Yeah. Erim did at least manage to cross the 200 border."
"Only with me, granted, but still...."
"And she had that magnificantly distracting cleavage too."
"How can this... how can this be?!"
"A question I'm sure a lot of evil beings have asked."
"But enough from you. Now feel my power... IN YOUR FACE!"
"Guh! I knew I should have had him stop saying that."
"Well...."
"I... don't know what to say."
"I do. That was disappointing."
"This is the end... so long my friend."
"Looks like our little elf friend is a Doors fan."
"Figures. Leave it to the elves to go for the skinny, moody types."
"Well, we can't all be fans of... what kind of music do YOU listen to anyway?"
"So, these are to be my last moments; slowly dying to the sounds of fanboy bickering?"
"Listen to the sore loser."
"Aw, poor puppy want some whine with that humble pie?"
"You capable of being humble? Oh, please... even the Sinistrals couldn't beat you there."
"Because this is all about the energy, isn't it?"
"Tell me about it. You shoulda been there when we visited Lexis and his amazing energy-level-reading machine."
"Wonder what kind of levels you've got."
"Don't you ignore us!"
"That really IS being a sore loser."
"So, this is what it comes down to, huh? A comparing of schwarzes."
"Selan, could I at least trade places with you?"
"What? Why?"
"Well, if I'm going to be exploded by their powers combined, I would at least want to gaze into the magnificent cleavage of death."
"That's just such a weird thing to say, I can't even get upset about it."
"Oh, come on, Selan. Be a pal."
"Shut up and concentrate, or we'll die now."
"And we haven't until now?"
"Just an expression. Don't think about it too hard, just... energy now."
"Thank you, Mr. Pep Talk."
"Um... what are you two doing? With my back turned, that exchange sounded very... suggestive."
"What a time to think dirty thoughts."
"Hey! All times are good for thinking dirty thoughts. Especially since Selan actually switched with me, but Miss Magnificent Cleavage isn't here anymore."
"I have no idea what's going on anymore."
"That was the key word I was waiting for."
"What? 'Hoochees'?"
"What the hell is a hoochees anyway?"
"Sounds like a pop group from the sixties."
"Fo' reals this time... I hope."
"....."
"Guys?"
"Hah. Sprung up as if nothing had happend. I see you're fine too."
"Yeah, 'twas nothing."
"Don't even look like anything's broken. Or even bruised much."
"Hm. Well, that was anticlimactic. Anyway, let's find Selan and get out of here."
"Yep. Sure did. And you're already on your feet too. That's my girl."
"That's... not an answer to my question."
"Yep. Everything will just be lovely all around. All good."
"Selan, you're... starting to worry me here."
"What?! But... but... your feet. You're standing on them. What do you mean you can barely speak?"
"Ugh! No, no, no. That's not even on your feet. Don't let this be the end. Don't let the end be this... angsty."
"I'm sorry. I... guess it was... preordained. Since... since the first game started out like... like that."
"Gah! The tragedies just keep piling up, don't they?"
"Curse you, fate."
"But..."
"But... but..."
"But... but... but..."
"BUTBUTBUTBUTBUTBUT! No butts! Go! Now!"
When tragedy strikes, it strikes hard, and nobody has been struck as much as our heroes on this very moment. With nowhere to go, Maxim has one last request to the nearly departed.
"And please, please, PLEASE make it sound cool. That's all I'm asking."
"Um... OK?"
"Don't worry about it, buddy. I'll make you the pimpiest pimp to ever pimp out a pimping cane."
"I'm worried now."
To be continued....
Onwards to the last chapter....
Back to the beginning....