Decline and Fall of the MS Empire: Chapter 9
Microsoft has launched a $300 million ad campaign for Windows with an apparent new strategy for self-defeat: produce an advertisement so bad that viewers will raise their eyebrows, share the impressively awful ad to their friends, and then switch to MacOS X or Ubuntu Linux.
As I personally am concerned, the only problem with this strategy is that I already have a Mac... but I'll play along and share the video, anyway:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImyK29QLs_A
Transcript:
Seinfeld: Shoe Circus, quality shoes at discount prices, why pay more.. Bill Gates!
Gates: Jerry Seinfeld?
Seinfeld: Churro?
Gates: I'm good.
Gates (to Salesman): The left one's a little tight.
Salesman: They'll stretch.
Seinfeld: You're sure they'll stretch?
Seinfeld (feeling the toe of the shoe Gates is trying on): Is that your toe?
Gates: No.
Seinfeld: What is it?
Gates: Leather.
Seinfeld (to Gates): It's a Conquistador. They run very tight. (Attempting to loosen shoe) You get the other one!
Seinfeld: You know what I do? I wear 'em in the shower. Ever wear clothes in the shower, Bill?
Gates: Never.
Seinfeld: You're dressed... and you're clean! Open the door, go about your business.
Seinfeld (to Salesman): He's a ten.
Salesman: Ten.
Seinfeld: See how that fits.
Gates: Better.
Seinfeld: That's a ten!
Woman: (in Spanish) That's a Conquistador?
Seinfeld: Guess what, Bill? You're a ten!
Man: (in Spanish) They run tight.
Cashier: Are you a Shoe Circus Clown Club Member?
Gates (displaying card): Platinum.
(Scene cuts to Gates and Seinfeld exiting the mall together)
Seinfeld: What do you get with that card?
Gates: Big top points.
Seinfeld: You know, I imagine over the years, you've mind-melded your magnum Jupiter brain with those other Saturn-ring brains of Microsoft.
Gates: I have.
Seinfeld: Just wondering, are they ever gonna come out with something that will make our computers moist and chewy, like cake, so we could eat 'em while we're working? If it's yes, gimme a signal. Adjust your shorts.
Gates: (waggles hips)
Seinfeld: Oh, I knew it!
Screen: "THE FUTURE"
Screen: "DELICIOUS"
Screen: [Windows logo]
As I personally am concerned, the only problem with this strategy is that I already have a Mac... but I'll play along and share the video, anyway:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImyK29QLs_A
Transcript:
Seinfeld: Shoe Circus, quality shoes at discount prices, why pay more.. Bill Gates!
Gates: Jerry Seinfeld?
Seinfeld: Churro?
Gates: I'm good.
Gates (to Salesman): The left one's a little tight.
Salesman: They'll stretch.
Seinfeld: You're sure they'll stretch?
Seinfeld (feeling the toe of the shoe Gates is trying on): Is that your toe?
Gates: No.
Seinfeld: What is it?
Gates: Leather.
Seinfeld (to Gates): It's a Conquistador. They run very tight. (Attempting to loosen shoe) You get the other one!
Seinfeld: You know what I do? I wear 'em in the shower. Ever wear clothes in the shower, Bill?
Gates: Never.
Seinfeld: You're dressed... and you're clean! Open the door, go about your business.
Seinfeld (to Salesman): He's a ten.
Salesman: Ten.
Seinfeld: See how that fits.
Gates: Better.
Seinfeld: That's a ten!
Woman: (in Spanish) That's a Conquistador?
Seinfeld: Guess what, Bill? You're a ten!
Man: (in Spanish) They run tight.
Cashier: Are you a Shoe Circus Clown Club Member?
Gates (displaying card): Platinum.
(Scene cuts to Gates and Seinfeld exiting the mall together)
Seinfeld: What do you get with that card?
Gates: Big top points.
Seinfeld: You know, I imagine over the years, you've mind-melded your magnum Jupiter brain with those other Saturn-ring brains of Microsoft.
Gates: I have.
Seinfeld: Just wondering, are they ever gonna come out with something that will make our computers moist and chewy, like cake, so we could eat 'em while we're working? If it's yes, gimme a signal. Adjust your shorts.
Gates: (waggles hips)
Seinfeld: Oh, I knew it!
Screen: "THE FUTURE"
Screen: "DELICIOUS"
Screen: [Windows logo]