Fic: Well Maybe What You Want is Right Here 13/?
Title: Well Maybe What You Want is Right Here 13/?
Pairing: Arizona/Callie
Rating: M
Summary: Sometimes we don't realize what we want until we just know. And sometimes we realize that certain things are worth fighting for. Starts a day or two after the scene in 11x08. Timeline may not be perfectly canon.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N: Many thanks to those still following this story! As always, your comments just make my day! :)
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Arizona
Amelia takes Herman into surgery the next day. Her eyesight started failing before we even made it into our morning surgery, and suddenly...it was time.
I perform our surgery without her. The baby was going to die otherwise. I was terrified.
But I was successful.
I’m not one to pray, but I pray it was a good sign.
*
Callie
I find Arizona in the lounge she and Dr. Herman had taken over as their own. After learning that Amelia was taking her mentor into surgery, and then hearing that Arizona was in her first fetal surgery all on her own, I knew that I needed to find the blonde and see if she was okay.
When I step quietly through the doorway, I immediately see that she's...not. She's sitting on the couch alone. And she's crying.
“Arizona...” I murmur her name, closing the door and going over to sit beside the smaller woman.
Seeing Arizona cry has always broken my heart - but the look on her face when she glances over at me makes it clench almost painfully in my chest. Watery blue eyes meet mine and she just leans into me, a small muffled sob being pressed against my shoulder as I wrap my arms around her, just silently holding her for a few minutes while the tears come in earnest.
“Your surgery...you flew solo. Did it not...” I trail off, whispering softly as I rub my hand along her back.
“It went perfectly.”
Her response is muffled until she lifts her head a little, reaching up to wipe at her cheeks.
“It went perfectly. They’re going to be fine. But...” the tears fall again and she wipes at her eyes, “Nicole...”
“Is doing really well. Amelia has been amazing in there.”
I reach up and wipe my thumb below her eyes, smoothing away tears before I cup her cheek softly.
“Do you want to go watch?”
Arizona lets out a shaky breath, shaking her head a little as she sits up again.
“I can’t. I can’t watch, Callie...I just...”
I slide my arm around her waist and just wait, offering up the silent support I sought her out to give.
“She’s in my head, Callie,” her voice is no louder than a whisper as she looks over at me, “After these last five months...she is in my head. And I’m not...I’m not ready for my head to be the only place she exists.”
I can see her swallow hard as she wipes at her eyes again, and I just tighten my hold, reaching up to smooth some hair back behind her ear.
“And if something goes wrong...if she...if she doesn’t wake up, she told me to make the decision. She told me what she wants. But...I don’t...I can’t do this alone.”
“Hey,” I gently tilt her chin so she’s looking at me, making sure she hears me, “You are not alone, do you hear me? You’re not alone, Arizona. No matter what happens.”
She just watches me for a minute, and her eyes well up again as she clasps her hand over mine.
“You were alone. You had to do this for Mark...and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
I let out a breath, the memories of those last days with my best friend slamming into me with full force at the mention of his name.
“Arizona...” I bring our hands down and thread my fingers firmly through hers, tears prickling at the back of my own eyes now, “you were barely alive yourself...you would have been there, but I couldn’t have burdened you with all of it. I just needed you to stay alive.”
She looks away, her shoulders slumping slightly in defeat, her voice low and quiet.
“It wasn’t fair. Mark should have lived. I did everything I could, Callie...I did everything to keep him alive too.”
Her quiet admission takes me by surprise - she had never spoken more than a sentence or two about those days after the crash, and even then, they’d been extremely vague. And I hadn’t asked because...how could I? I couldn’t ask her that, not with everything else she was going through. I’d heard bits and pieces from Cristina and Meredith, but neither had ever really spoken about the peds surgeon.
She shakes her head as I watch her, letting out something that’s half laugh, but more sob, wiping at her cheeks.
“I held him in my lap for four days and he kept...he just kept dying on me. I tried so hard to stay awake to make sure...Cristina kept starting his heart again and I begged him, I begged him not to leave me. Not to leave all of us. All I could think about was getting back to you and to Sofia, all I wanted was to see you again, and for Sofia to have her dad...”
Her tears fall more freely now and she doesn’t even move to hide them. I just stare at her, shocked, as I listen to her words.
“For you to get your best friend back. I tried so hard, Callie. He should have lived and it’s not fair.”
Wiping at the tears falling from my own eyes, I silently reach for her, and she doesn’t resist when I pull her into my arms. I need to feel her as much as she needs me though.
“None of it was fair,” I whisper, pressing my cheek against her hair, “and you brought him back, Arizona. You let me say goodbye, let him see our daughter again.”
She lets me settle us against the back of the couch, her hand clinging tightly to the fabric of my scrub top as if she’s afraid to let me go, and she just rests her head in the crook of my neck silently. We stay that way for a few minutes, neither one of us saying another word, and I think over everything she’s just told me. She's given me more details about her days after the crash than I ever thought I would know, and I feel my eyes well up again at the overwhelming realization that even then...even in excruciating pain, even barely hanging onto life herself...she had been thinking of me.
“I wish you had come to Boise.”
When she speaks again, it’s barely a murmur against my skin, and I look down to find her eyes.
“You told me not to...Arizona, you begged me not to. You were hysterical, you begged me not to get on a plane...”
I cup her cheek softly, my heart clenching painfully. I’d wanted nothing else than to immediately be at her side - when I found out she was alive all I wanted was to be with her. I thought of nothing else until I heard her voice on the phone pleading with me to wait.
“I know,” she sighs heavily, “I know. And I didn’t...god, I didn’t want you to get on a plane. I was terrified. It’s all I really remember about being in the hospital there...being terrified when I heard that you were coming for me. Terrified that your plane would crash too. That Sofia would lose all of us.”
Stroking my thumb lightly along her cheek, I watch the pain flash across blue eyes as the memories come to her. I wish I had never listened - I should have been there, I should have been with her every single moment after she was pulled from those woods.
“I should have come anyway,” I whisper, sighing heavily, “but you are not alone anymore, Arizona. You will never be alone.”
She just rests her head against me again, the last tears drying on her cheeks, and her hand relaxes to just rest under my lab coat against my side. I keep my arm firmly around her, letting my own head lean on the top of hers, and our breathing quietly evens out in the otherwise silent room.
And we wait.
*
Arizona
We wait for two days, and I push our surgeries. I leave her room to check on the patients we still have in recovery, and once to help Alex on a case, but I spend most of time by her beside, willing her to wake up.
I don’t want her to die. I don’t want to lose her - as a mentor or as a friend. As a person.
Saturday morning I see Callie watching through the window of the room, and I let out a heavy sigh, immediately heading over to her. She greets me wordlessly with a hug, and I bury my nose in her hair for a brief moment to draw comfort from her familiar scent.
“I’m sorry, Callie...” I pull back, running a hand through my hair, “I know I was going to get my stuff moved today...and tonight I had all these plans, but...”
She cuts me off with a finger to my lips, and she smiles gently.
“Nothing to apologize for. And if you want...Alex gave me his keys. I can pack up the rest of your things and bring them home.”
I feel my lips pulling into their first smile in days, and I gaze at her gratefully. She is such a wonderful woman. I’m so lucky to have her back in my life.
“Thank you.”
I hug her again tightly, holding on for a minute before I let her go and stand back.
“Where’s Sofia today? Tell her I’m sorry about this morning...I promised her we’d get pancakes...”
She smiles, squeezing my hand.
“It’s okay, she understood. And she’s off with Zola and Bailey and the nanny - they went to the aquarium for the day. I promise you she has long forgotten about pancakes.”
I nod, glancing back toward the hospital room again as a nurse heads in.
“Go on,” Callie urges, “But you should come home tonight, Arizona. You need a real night’s sleep.”
“Yeah,” I smile a little distractedly, nodding my head, “I’ll try. I’ll talk to you later.”
I head back into the room and pull the chair back over beside Nicole’s bed, looking up at her monitors with a sigh.
Still no change.
I need her to wake up.
*
We wait another two days. I haven’t been home yet.
Amelia is just finishing a check-up and she sighs heavily, meeting my eyes across the hospital bed.
“Arizona...you might have to start thinking about things.”
“No,” I cut her off, even though I know what she’s saying is true, “not yet.”
And almost as if she’s heard us - almost as if she’s pulling out of her coma precisely to tell the neurosurgeon off - I hear a quiet, raspy cough from the bed, and I look down to see the woman suddenly struggling against her breathing tube.
“Oh my god. Amelia.”
But the other doctor is already in action, immediately launched into professional mode as she speaks soothing words to her patient, quickly and carefully getting the tube out and re-checking all her stats.
Eyes widening, I stare down at the bed, grasping the older doctor’s hand from where it lays prone beside her. After a few minutes, the breathing tube is gone and her eyes open with some noticeable effort. She coughs again, and her voice is rough but clear when she speaks.
“I’m alive.”
There are tears clouding my eyes but I can’t help but laugh, squeezing her hand tightly between mine. She’s back.
“You are. And I am so glad to see you.”
Amelia is still checking her over, and when she pulls out her light to check Nicole’s eyes I see a small crease form on her brow.
“I can’t see you.”
Freezing, I look back to my mentor’s face.
“You...can you see anything? At all?” I ask hesitantly, although I think I already know the answer judging by the look on Amelia’s face.
Nicole coughs roughly again, her hand holding mine tightly.
“Not a damn thing. You better not be crying, Robbins.”
Amelia glances over at me as I quickly wipe at my eyes, and she nods a little toward me.
“Nicole, I’ll be back in a little bit. We’ll want to run a few scans to make sure everything looks alright.”
She grabs the chart and scribbles a quick note before heading out, giving us a few minutes alone. I look down at my mentor - my friend - again, and I give her hand another squeeze, letting out a quiet sigh of relief.
“I’m not crying.”
“You so are.”
Her voice is still raspy, and she coughs with a slight groan.
“Let me get you some water...”
I go to slip my hand from hers but she grips tightly, holding me in place.
“Robbins, why are you crying? I woke up, didn’t I?”
Swallowing a small lump in my throat, I step closer again, letting her keep our hands linked.
“But your sight...you can’t...you’ll never...”
She gives me an exasperated sigh, and turns her head toward me, following the sound of my voice.
“You are so dense sometimes,” she states matter-of-factly, sounding more and more like herself already, “The point is, I’m alive, Arizona. I’m alive and it’s because of you. Because you’re too damn stubborn to mind your own business.”
I can’t help the short laugh that escapes me, and I shake my head at this impossible woman laying in front of me. Just woken up and already telling me off.
“I’m glad I didn’t mind my own business.”
As if coming to a sudden realization, her brow furrows a bit and she looks toward me again.
“How did the surgery go? On Adams?”
“It went fine,” I smile, thinking back to the other day, “mom and unborn baby are perfect. She went home yesterday actually.”
She squeezes my hand, a small smile crossing her face.
“I knew I picked the right horse. Did you move home yet?”
Of all the things she could remember after waking from a four-day coma. Although I shouldn’t be surprised, knowing her.
“I...kind of?” I wince a little, feeling badly when I think about Callie, “Callie moved my things home two days ago. I...haven’t been there yet.”
Nicole lets go of my hand, patting my forearm lightly before resting her arm up over her abdomen.
“Go home, Robbins. I’m fine now.”
“I’m not going to leave you all alone now that you’re awake,” I frown, fixing her blanket a little.
“Go. Home.”
Her voice is firm when she speaks, and she gives me a little grin.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Go home to that girl of yours."
She pauses, and I raise an eyebrow slightly because I can tell she's got something else to say.
"And then tell me all about it."
*
The house is mostly dark as I unlock the door and head inside. It's well past Sofia's bedtime, and as much as I want to spend some time with her, I don't want to wake her up for it. I make my way quietly through the house, leaving the lights off as I head toward the glow emanating from the bedroom. Our bedroom, I smile a little to myself. I love our bedroom.
Callie hears my steps and she looks up from her book as I stop in the doorway, a look of concern immediately clouding her face.
"Arizona? I didn't expect you...oh, god, is she..."
I come around the side of the bed as she sits up and just slide my hands over her shoulders, stepping between her legs.
"She's awake. And she's...okay. She's alive."
I laugh a little out of sheer relief, the stress of the last week finally starting to leave my body. Nicole is going to be alright. And I'm here, I'm here in my home with Callie and when I see her smile up at me nothing else in the world really matters.
"She's alive. And you know what? So am I. So are you." I cup her cheeks, cradling her face in my hands, "And I am so, so tired of living my life without you."
When I kiss her, everything else that I'd been worried and stressed about instantly fades away. I hear her surprised breath as my lips meet hers, and my hands slide up into her hair of their own volition -- just needing to touch her, needing to feel her. We have spent too much time circling around each other and now that we're making this work, now that we've given ourselves another chance, I am not wasting another second.
*
Callie
I was surprised to see Arizona come home, and after a momentary panic I was relieved to hear it was because of good news. I'd been worried about her -- worried that too much was happening at once. But when she claims my lips with her own everything I'm thinking disappears, and suddenly there's only the taste and the scent and the warmth of the beautiful woman in front of me. And nothing else matters.
"I love you."
She murmurs against my lips between kisses and she shifts forwards, eliminating the space between us as her arms wrap around my neck and her hand cradles the back of my head.
I give myself over completely and instinctually as she deepens the kiss, the taste and the feel of her continuing to flood my senses as my hands slide over slender hips, feeling the heat emanating from her skin. I slip under the fabric of her shirt and it's like I've lit a fire in the blonde as a low moan slips from her throat and she pulls back, fumbling open the buttons and in an instant discarding the blouse to the floor. She tugs at the old t-shirt I'm wearing and I let her pull it off, watching her face as her eyes roam hungrily over my body, her hands immediately following to smooth over the skin of my abdomen and up to almost reverently cup my breasts.
"You are...so beautiful."
The words leave her lips in a whisper and I smile, reaching for the body I've desperately missed these past five months. I let my hands trail lightly along her ribs, and up, tracing the dip between her breasts as her breath quickens slightly.
"You are breathtaking, Arizona."
I drop my hands and pop open the button on her jeans, holding her gaze as I smoothly lower the zipper and push them off her hips.
"I want more."
She leans in then and kisses me deeply once more, helping me push the fabric down her legs and only pulling back again when she needs to step out of them, kicking them aside. My hands wander along her waist and I sigh happily at the expanse of smooth, beautiful skin now bared in front of me. I look up to meet her eyes again and she watches me with her deep, sapphire gaze as my hands slide over her hips, smoothing down to caress her perfect thighs.
Smiling slowly, an almost coy look on her face, she reaches back and unclasps her bra, shrugging the lacy fabric off to join the pile on the floor. She leans over me, hands sliding around the back of my neck, and I shiver as I feel warm breath on my ear when she whispers.
"I've been thinking about this for so long."
The blonde pushes me back on the bed and I comply with a grin, watching as she hooks slender fingers into my pajama shorts and pulls them down my legs.
"Mm, seems like you've been thinking about this too," she murmurs under her breath, trailing her fingers lightly between my thighs before bringing them to her lips, a soft groan sounding in her throat as she tastes just how much I want her.
And god, do I want her.
She slips her leg off and divests herself of remaining clothing in a fluid motion, crawling over me and grinning playfully as she smooths her palm up to my breasts again, squeezing and kneading as my eyes flutter shut.
"You have no idea," I groan, arching up to meet her touch, "God, I've missed you."
The words barely leave me and her lips are covering mine once more, claiming my mouth in a way that's both passionate and possessive, a paradox of tenderness and fire that leaves me breathless. No one has ever made me feel what this woman does -- nothing can compare to what she ignites inside of me.
She lowers her head, tracing her lips along the angle of my jaw and down along my collarbone, her mouth hot and wet against my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her, a breathless plea escaping me as I shudder under her touch, and I feel her lips curve into a smile before she continues her motion, trailing kisses down between my breasts and lavishing them with her tongue as a pleased moan sounds deep in her throat.
Her palm is hot on my skin as she caresses my thigh, impatiently slipping between them to seek out the hot, molten evidence of my arousal. She nips lightly at my breast as she does, murmuring something against my skin that I can't even process because suddenly her fingers are sliding into me and filling me in a way that leaves me gasping for air.
At first she moves them slowly, her fingertips only lightly exploring and curling inside me, her breath hot again on my neck as she kisses and sucks at my pulse point. She's marking me -- I can feel her lips and tongue and teeth working against my skin, and I remember all too well her proclivity for claiming me as hers.
And I am hers. I've always been.
I whimper and grasp at her back as her fingers push deeper, her movements increasing in both speed and intensity as she kisses me, slipping her tongue against mine in the most wonderful way to mirror the feelings reverberating throughout my body.
She shifts slightly, and the change in angle tears a groan from my throat, my body arching to her and my legs wrapping around her in a desperate and unconscious attempt to pull her closer. I'm on fire, burning under her touch, and I can feel myself clinging to the edge precariously, about to topple over.
"Open your eyes, Calliope."
Her voice is low and husky, her tongue trailing a wet, heated path along my throat and up to my ear, her teeth nipping and pulling at the lobe with what almost sounds like a growl.
And I open my eyes, grasping my hand in her hair as vibrant blue meets my gaze, as her fingers push and pull inside of me with an insistent need, her thumb grazing ever so lightly over the spot I've been craving her touch.
"I love you, Calliope."
And the sound of her voice, hot with arousal and deep with emotion, sends me tumbling over the edge, her name tearing from my throat with an unbridled groan as wave after wave of pleasure rocks my body and my very soul.
She is everywhere -- her fingers reaching inside me, her hand caressing my skin, her lips warm and tender along the line of my jaw. Her voice is in my head, and the scent of her perfume and her skin and her arousal mingle to envelope me in a haze of nothing but pure Arizona.
She is everywhere.
And she is everything.
And I don't want to spend a minute of my life without her again.
Pairing: Arizona/Callie
Rating: M
Summary: Sometimes we don't realize what we want until we just know. And sometimes we realize that certain things are worth fighting for. Starts a day or two after the scene in 11x08. Timeline may not be perfectly canon.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N: Many thanks to those still following this story! As always, your comments just make my day! :)
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Arizona
Amelia takes Herman into surgery the next day. Her eyesight started failing before we even made it into our morning surgery, and suddenly...it was time.
I perform our surgery without her. The baby was going to die otherwise. I was terrified.
But I was successful.
I’m not one to pray, but I pray it was a good sign.
*
Callie
I find Arizona in the lounge she and Dr. Herman had taken over as their own. After learning that Amelia was taking her mentor into surgery, and then hearing that Arizona was in her first fetal surgery all on her own, I knew that I needed to find the blonde and see if she was okay.
When I step quietly through the doorway, I immediately see that she's...not. She's sitting on the couch alone. And she's crying.
“Arizona...” I murmur her name, closing the door and going over to sit beside the smaller woman.
Seeing Arizona cry has always broken my heart - but the look on her face when she glances over at me makes it clench almost painfully in my chest. Watery blue eyes meet mine and she just leans into me, a small muffled sob being pressed against my shoulder as I wrap my arms around her, just silently holding her for a few minutes while the tears come in earnest.
“Your surgery...you flew solo. Did it not...” I trail off, whispering softly as I rub my hand along her back.
“It went perfectly.”
Her response is muffled until she lifts her head a little, reaching up to wipe at her cheeks.
“It went perfectly. They’re going to be fine. But...” the tears fall again and she wipes at her eyes, “Nicole...”
“Is doing really well. Amelia has been amazing in there.”
I reach up and wipe my thumb below her eyes, smoothing away tears before I cup her cheek softly.
“Do you want to go watch?”
Arizona lets out a shaky breath, shaking her head a little as she sits up again.
“I can’t. I can’t watch, Callie...I just...”
I slide my arm around her waist and just wait, offering up the silent support I sought her out to give.
“She’s in my head, Callie,” her voice is no louder than a whisper as she looks over at me, “After these last five months...she is in my head. And I’m not...I’m not ready for my head to be the only place she exists.”
I can see her swallow hard as she wipes at her eyes again, and I just tighten my hold, reaching up to smooth some hair back behind her ear.
“And if something goes wrong...if she...if she doesn’t wake up, she told me to make the decision. She told me what she wants. But...I don’t...I can’t do this alone.”
“Hey,” I gently tilt her chin so she’s looking at me, making sure she hears me, “You are not alone, do you hear me? You’re not alone, Arizona. No matter what happens.”
She just watches me for a minute, and her eyes well up again as she clasps her hand over mine.
“You were alone. You had to do this for Mark...and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
I let out a breath, the memories of those last days with my best friend slamming into me with full force at the mention of his name.
“Arizona...” I bring our hands down and thread my fingers firmly through hers, tears prickling at the back of my own eyes now, “you were barely alive yourself...you would have been there, but I couldn’t have burdened you with all of it. I just needed you to stay alive.”
She looks away, her shoulders slumping slightly in defeat, her voice low and quiet.
“It wasn’t fair. Mark should have lived. I did everything I could, Callie...I did everything to keep him alive too.”
Her quiet admission takes me by surprise - she had never spoken more than a sentence or two about those days after the crash, and even then, they’d been extremely vague. And I hadn’t asked because...how could I? I couldn’t ask her that, not with everything else she was going through. I’d heard bits and pieces from Cristina and Meredith, but neither had ever really spoken about the peds surgeon.
She shakes her head as I watch her, letting out something that’s half laugh, but more sob, wiping at her cheeks.
“I held him in my lap for four days and he kept...he just kept dying on me. I tried so hard to stay awake to make sure...Cristina kept starting his heart again and I begged him, I begged him not to leave me. Not to leave all of us. All I could think about was getting back to you and to Sofia, all I wanted was to see you again, and for Sofia to have her dad...”
Her tears fall more freely now and she doesn’t even move to hide them. I just stare at her, shocked, as I listen to her words.
“For you to get your best friend back. I tried so hard, Callie. He should have lived and it’s not fair.”
Wiping at the tears falling from my own eyes, I silently reach for her, and she doesn’t resist when I pull her into my arms. I need to feel her as much as she needs me though.
“None of it was fair,” I whisper, pressing my cheek against her hair, “and you brought him back, Arizona. You let me say goodbye, let him see our daughter again.”
She lets me settle us against the back of the couch, her hand clinging tightly to the fabric of my scrub top as if she’s afraid to let me go, and she just rests her head in the crook of my neck silently. We stay that way for a few minutes, neither one of us saying another word, and I think over everything she’s just told me. She's given me more details about her days after the crash than I ever thought I would know, and I feel my eyes well up again at the overwhelming realization that even then...even in excruciating pain, even barely hanging onto life herself...she had been thinking of me.
“I wish you had come to Boise.”
When she speaks again, it’s barely a murmur against my skin, and I look down to find her eyes.
“You told me not to...Arizona, you begged me not to. You were hysterical, you begged me not to get on a plane...”
I cup her cheek softly, my heart clenching painfully. I’d wanted nothing else than to immediately be at her side - when I found out she was alive all I wanted was to be with her. I thought of nothing else until I heard her voice on the phone pleading with me to wait.
“I know,” she sighs heavily, “I know. And I didn’t...god, I didn’t want you to get on a plane. I was terrified. It’s all I really remember about being in the hospital there...being terrified when I heard that you were coming for me. Terrified that your plane would crash too. That Sofia would lose all of us.”
Stroking my thumb lightly along her cheek, I watch the pain flash across blue eyes as the memories come to her. I wish I had never listened - I should have been there, I should have been with her every single moment after she was pulled from those woods.
“I should have come anyway,” I whisper, sighing heavily, “but you are not alone anymore, Arizona. You will never be alone.”
She just rests her head against me again, the last tears drying on her cheeks, and her hand relaxes to just rest under my lab coat against my side. I keep my arm firmly around her, letting my own head lean on the top of hers, and our breathing quietly evens out in the otherwise silent room.
And we wait.
*
Arizona
We wait for two days, and I push our surgeries. I leave her room to check on the patients we still have in recovery, and once to help Alex on a case, but I spend most of time by her beside, willing her to wake up.
I don’t want her to die. I don’t want to lose her - as a mentor or as a friend. As a person.
Saturday morning I see Callie watching through the window of the room, and I let out a heavy sigh, immediately heading over to her. She greets me wordlessly with a hug, and I bury my nose in her hair for a brief moment to draw comfort from her familiar scent.
“I’m sorry, Callie...” I pull back, running a hand through my hair, “I know I was going to get my stuff moved today...and tonight I had all these plans, but...”
She cuts me off with a finger to my lips, and she smiles gently.
“Nothing to apologize for. And if you want...Alex gave me his keys. I can pack up the rest of your things and bring them home.”
I feel my lips pulling into their first smile in days, and I gaze at her gratefully. She is such a wonderful woman. I’m so lucky to have her back in my life.
“Thank you.”
I hug her again tightly, holding on for a minute before I let her go and stand back.
“Where’s Sofia today? Tell her I’m sorry about this morning...I promised her we’d get pancakes...”
She smiles, squeezing my hand.
“It’s okay, she understood. And she’s off with Zola and Bailey and the nanny - they went to the aquarium for the day. I promise you she has long forgotten about pancakes.”
I nod, glancing back toward the hospital room again as a nurse heads in.
“Go on,” Callie urges, “But you should come home tonight, Arizona. You need a real night’s sleep.”
“Yeah,” I smile a little distractedly, nodding my head, “I’ll try. I’ll talk to you later.”
I head back into the room and pull the chair back over beside Nicole’s bed, looking up at her monitors with a sigh.
Still no change.
I need her to wake up.
*
We wait another two days. I haven’t been home yet.
Amelia is just finishing a check-up and she sighs heavily, meeting my eyes across the hospital bed.
“Arizona...you might have to start thinking about things.”
“No,” I cut her off, even though I know what she’s saying is true, “not yet.”
And almost as if she’s heard us - almost as if she’s pulling out of her coma precisely to tell the neurosurgeon off - I hear a quiet, raspy cough from the bed, and I look down to see the woman suddenly struggling against her breathing tube.
“Oh my god. Amelia.”
But the other doctor is already in action, immediately launched into professional mode as she speaks soothing words to her patient, quickly and carefully getting the tube out and re-checking all her stats.
Eyes widening, I stare down at the bed, grasping the older doctor’s hand from where it lays prone beside her. After a few minutes, the breathing tube is gone and her eyes open with some noticeable effort. She coughs again, and her voice is rough but clear when she speaks.
“I’m alive.”
There are tears clouding my eyes but I can’t help but laugh, squeezing her hand tightly between mine. She’s back.
“You are. And I am so glad to see you.”
Amelia is still checking her over, and when she pulls out her light to check Nicole’s eyes I see a small crease form on her brow.
“I can’t see you.”
Freezing, I look back to my mentor’s face.
“You...can you see anything? At all?” I ask hesitantly, although I think I already know the answer judging by the look on Amelia’s face.
Nicole coughs roughly again, her hand holding mine tightly.
“Not a damn thing. You better not be crying, Robbins.”
Amelia glances over at me as I quickly wipe at my eyes, and she nods a little toward me.
“Nicole, I’ll be back in a little bit. We’ll want to run a few scans to make sure everything looks alright.”
She grabs the chart and scribbles a quick note before heading out, giving us a few minutes alone. I look down at my mentor - my friend - again, and I give her hand another squeeze, letting out a quiet sigh of relief.
“I’m not crying.”
“You so are.”
Her voice is still raspy, and she coughs with a slight groan.
“Let me get you some water...”
I go to slip my hand from hers but she grips tightly, holding me in place.
“Robbins, why are you crying? I woke up, didn’t I?”
Swallowing a small lump in my throat, I step closer again, letting her keep our hands linked.
“But your sight...you can’t...you’ll never...”
She gives me an exasperated sigh, and turns her head toward me, following the sound of my voice.
“You are so dense sometimes,” she states matter-of-factly, sounding more and more like herself already, “The point is, I’m alive, Arizona. I’m alive and it’s because of you. Because you’re too damn stubborn to mind your own business.”
I can’t help the short laugh that escapes me, and I shake my head at this impossible woman laying in front of me. Just woken up and already telling me off.
“I’m glad I didn’t mind my own business.”
As if coming to a sudden realization, her brow furrows a bit and she looks toward me again.
“How did the surgery go? On Adams?”
“It went fine,” I smile, thinking back to the other day, “mom and unborn baby are perfect. She went home yesterday actually.”
She squeezes my hand, a small smile crossing her face.
“I knew I picked the right horse. Did you move home yet?”
Of all the things she could remember after waking from a four-day coma. Although I shouldn’t be surprised, knowing her.
“I...kind of?” I wince a little, feeling badly when I think about Callie, “Callie moved my things home two days ago. I...haven’t been there yet.”
Nicole lets go of my hand, patting my forearm lightly before resting her arm up over her abdomen.
“Go home, Robbins. I’m fine now.”
“I’m not going to leave you all alone now that you’re awake,” I frown, fixing her blanket a little.
“Go. Home.”
Her voice is firm when she speaks, and she gives me a little grin.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Go home to that girl of yours."
She pauses, and I raise an eyebrow slightly because I can tell she's got something else to say.
"And then tell me all about it."
*
The house is mostly dark as I unlock the door and head inside. It's well past Sofia's bedtime, and as much as I want to spend some time with her, I don't want to wake her up for it. I make my way quietly through the house, leaving the lights off as I head toward the glow emanating from the bedroom. Our bedroom, I smile a little to myself. I love our bedroom.
Callie hears my steps and she looks up from her book as I stop in the doorway, a look of concern immediately clouding her face.
"Arizona? I didn't expect you...oh, god, is she..."
I come around the side of the bed as she sits up and just slide my hands over her shoulders, stepping between her legs.
"She's awake. And she's...okay. She's alive."
I laugh a little out of sheer relief, the stress of the last week finally starting to leave my body. Nicole is going to be alright. And I'm here, I'm here in my home with Callie and when I see her smile up at me nothing else in the world really matters.
"She's alive. And you know what? So am I. So are you." I cup her cheeks, cradling her face in my hands, "And I am so, so tired of living my life without you."
When I kiss her, everything else that I'd been worried and stressed about instantly fades away. I hear her surprised breath as my lips meet hers, and my hands slide up into her hair of their own volition -- just needing to touch her, needing to feel her. We have spent too much time circling around each other and now that we're making this work, now that we've given ourselves another chance, I am not wasting another second.
*
Callie
I was surprised to see Arizona come home, and after a momentary panic I was relieved to hear it was because of good news. I'd been worried about her -- worried that too much was happening at once. But when she claims my lips with her own everything I'm thinking disappears, and suddenly there's only the taste and the scent and the warmth of the beautiful woman in front of me. And nothing else matters.
"I love you."
She murmurs against my lips between kisses and she shifts forwards, eliminating the space between us as her arms wrap around my neck and her hand cradles the back of my head.
I give myself over completely and instinctually as she deepens the kiss, the taste and the feel of her continuing to flood my senses as my hands slide over slender hips, feeling the heat emanating from her skin. I slip under the fabric of her shirt and it's like I've lit a fire in the blonde as a low moan slips from her throat and she pulls back, fumbling open the buttons and in an instant discarding the blouse to the floor. She tugs at the old t-shirt I'm wearing and I let her pull it off, watching her face as her eyes roam hungrily over my body, her hands immediately following to smooth over the skin of my abdomen and up to almost reverently cup my breasts.
"You are...so beautiful."
The words leave her lips in a whisper and I smile, reaching for the body I've desperately missed these past five months. I let my hands trail lightly along her ribs, and up, tracing the dip between her breasts as her breath quickens slightly.
"You are breathtaking, Arizona."
I drop my hands and pop open the button on her jeans, holding her gaze as I smoothly lower the zipper and push them off her hips.
"I want more."
She leans in then and kisses me deeply once more, helping me push the fabric down her legs and only pulling back again when she needs to step out of them, kicking them aside. My hands wander along her waist and I sigh happily at the expanse of smooth, beautiful skin now bared in front of me. I look up to meet her eyes again and she watches me with her deep, sapphire gaze as my hands slide over her hips, smoothing down to caress her perfect thighs.
Smiling slowly, an almost coy look on her face, she reaches back and unclasps her bra, shrugging the lacy fabric off to join the pile on the floor. She leans over me, hands sliding around the back of my neck, and I shiver as I feel warm breath on my ear when she whispers.
"I've been thinking about this for so long."
The blonde pushes me back on the bed and I comply with a grin, watching as she hooks slender fingers into my pajama shorts and pulls them down my legs.
"Mm, seems like you've been thinking about this too," she murmurs under her breath, trailing her fingers lightly between my thighs before bringing them to her lips, a soft groan sounding in her throat as she tastes just how much I want her.
And god, do I want her.
She slips her leg off and divests herself of remaining clothing in a fluid motion, crawling over me and grinning playfully as she smooths her palm up to my breasts again, squeezing and kneading as my eyes flutter shut.
"You have no idea," I groan, arching up to meet her touch, "God, I've missed you."
The words barely leave me and her lips are covering mine once more, claiming my mouth in a way that's both passionate and possessive, a paradox of tenderness and fire that leaves me breathless. No one has ever made me feel what this woman does -- nothing can compare to what she ignites inside of me.
She lowers her head, tracing her lips along the angle of my jaw and down along my collarbone, her mouth hot and wet against my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her, a breathless plea escaping me as I shudder under her touch, and I feel her lips curve into a smile before she continues her motion, trailing kisses down between my breasts and lavishing them with her tongue as a pleased moan sounds deep in her throat.
Her palm is hot on my skin as she caresses my thigh, impatiently slipping between them to seek out the hot, molten evidence of my arousal. She nips lightly at my breast as she does, murmuring something against my skin that I can't even process because suddenly her fingers are sliding into me and filling me in a way that leaves me gasping for air.
At first she moves them slowly, her fingertips only lightly exploring and curling inside me, her breath hot again on my neck as she kisses and sucks at my pulse point. She's marking me -- I can feel her lips and tongue and teeth working against my skin, and I remember all too well her proclivity for claiming me as hers.
And I am hers. I've always been.
I whimper and grasp at her back as her fingers push deeper, her movements increasing in both speed and intensity as she kisses me, slipping her tongue against mine in the most wonderful way to mirror the feelings reverberating throughout my body.
She shifts slightly, and the change in angle tears a groan from my throat, my body arching to her and my legs wrapping around her in a desperate and unconscious attempt to pull her closer. I'm on fire, burning under her touch, and I can feel myself clinging to the edge precariously, about to topple over.
"Open your eyes, Calliope."
Her voice is low and husky, her tongue trailing a wet, heated path along my throat and up to my ear, her teeth nipping and pulling at the lobe with what almost sounds like a growl.
And I open my eyes, grasping my hand in her hair as vibrant blue meets my gaze, as her fingers push and pull inside of me with an insistent need, her thumb grazing ever so lightly over the spot I've been craving her touch.
"I love you, Calliope."
And the sound of her voice, hot with arousal and deep with emotion, sends me tumbling over the edge, her name tearing from my throat with an unbridled groan as wave after wave of pleasure rocks my body and my very soul.
She is everywhere -- her fingers reaching inside me, her hand caressing my skin, her lips warm and tender along the line of my jaw. Her voice is in my head, and the scent of her perfume and her skin and her arousal mingle to envelope me in a haze of nothing but pure Arizona.
She is everywhere.
And she is everything.
And I don't want to spend a minute of my life without her again.