Round 9
THIS ROUND IS CLOSED TO NEW PROMPTS
Round 10 will be up in about a week. We'll have a friending meme up in the next couple of days, and we'll be discussing hiring new mods to deal with the influx of members and prompts.
Welcome to norsekink!
Keep up the awesome, folks.
Attention: When you fill a prompt offsite or on your own journal rather than on the ( Read more... )
Round 10 will be up in about a week. We'll have a friending meme up in the next couple of days, and we'll be discussing hiring new mods to deal with the influx of members and prompts.
Welcome to norsekink!
Keep up the awesome, folks.
Attention: When you fill a prompt offsite or on your own journal rather than on the ( Read more... )
The battered figure limped down the corridor, eyes darting green fire at any of the staff unfortunate enough to get in his way.
“Uhm, are you-”
“Get out of my way, mortal.”
Wisely the mortal did.
He headed with purpose to a steel door and knocked three times, deliberately and unhurriedly. It remained shut.
“Fury, you have three seconds to open that door or it will shortly bear an uncanny resemblance to a rotten eggplant.”
Three. Two. One. He raised a hand. The door swung open.
The dark man was there, but with him were Barton and Romanov. Honestly, at this point, Loki couldn’t bring himself to care. An absent wave later and the archer’s bow had been shifted into a yellow duckling. The girl wasn’t attacking. Smart.
“A trial run,” he bit out, before the austere director could open his mouth, “A trial run with a couple of hundred aliens to see if you superheroes were up to saving the world. The world. They weren’t up to saving one city. And you let them do this to me?”
Fury had the grace to look apologetic.
“I didn’t anticipate,-“
“Oh I know.”
“I assumed you’d teleport,” Fury says.
“Teleport? With the portal open? I’d be splattered like scrambled eggs in the sunlight. Not that being smashed like a two-year-old’s plaything was much better.”
“What the fuck, Fury?” Barton said.
“Barton this is not the time.”
“The fuck it’s not. What does he mean, ‘trial run’?”
“Yes, just when were you planning on telling your little group I work for you?”
Fury groaned.
“Later, Agent Laufeyson, later.”
“He’s an agent?”
“Yes, Barton, I am. And to think I was actually flattered when I was told, ‘I need someone to arrange a teamwork test for a group of superheroes’. I got a couple of hundred creatures together about as chaotically evil as the Yuuzhan Vong. Do you know the sort of effort that takes? And I played my part to the hilt. I assumed they knew it was a test. So I’ll ask again, Fury, when exactly were you planning on telling them?”
The director was silent.
“Eighty deaths in two days. Eighty. You planned this Sir?”
“Frankly Barton, it was a price I was prepared to pay to get the lot of you working as a team. Because next time it won’t be planned. Next time we will need a faster response strategy than insults to world domination.”
“And Coulson?” Barton demanded, voice choked.
A shadow flickered across Fury’s face.
“He died for something he believed in,” he said after a long pause, “He knew the risks.”
Loki blinked.
“You thought I’d killed Coulson?” he demanded with sudden insight.
Five eyes snapped to his face.
“Truthfully?” he demanded.
Fury’s wasn’t the only face which was tellingly blank.
“Director, allow me to assure you that the only thing endangering Coulson’s health at the current time will be the knowledge of what you did to his vintage collector cards.”
“Who the hell told me it would only ever work if-,” Fury broke off.
“Oh, that. A random agent I masked,” Loki admitted callously, “Honestly, though. Coulson? He introduced me to the realm of Star Wars.”
“... “
“What the fuck was the mind-control then?” Barton demanded.
“I needed someone competent on the bad side. Honestly, if I’d wanted to destroy you do you really think I wouldn’t have blown up the fourth engine with the other three? My tactics were appalling. And I shifted my eyes,” he pointed for emphasis at the jade orbs, “I shifted them to blue and I behaved like a melodramatic maniac. And no one even tried to see if I’d been mind-controlled as well.”
He sounded peeved. He was peeved.
“To be fair, Thor did imply that was your normal state,” Barton offered.
Loki glared at him.
“I’m not going back to Asgard. I don’t care what it does to your reputation. You will tell Thor and his little friends about this before I get hit with venom for three centuries.”
Fury sighed. But he nodded reluctantly.
Romanov spoke at last.
“It was never about the Hulk.”
There was a flicker of respect in her eyes.
Loki smiled.
“No.”
Barton was glaring at him. Fury was looking at nothing, doubtlessly contemplating the task of telling four annoyed superheroes this had all been a training exercise.
And Romanov? She rose and made her way over to him.
“Welcome to the team, I guess.”
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Lol yeah.
And Fury should duck for cover because there are multiple uses to which that massive gun can be put and destroying vintage collector cards is totally one of them.
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ahaha
this was great!
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This!
Brilliant.
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Glad you enjoyed!
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ROFL. Understatement of the century!
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This is hilarious and callous and amoral and awesome. And, considering the body counts amassed by various superheroes before (and really, after) their redemption arcs, it's also totally believable. I just love Indignant!Loki. And PO'd!Clint.
And Loki and Natasha are going out for drinks later, aren't they? I can see them becoming friends.
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Yep. Though in Fury's defense, if those dammed Heroes hadn't been to busy telling eachother to suit up and brawl they could have reduced it. Maybe. And that tessaract was going to blow anyway!
This is hilarious and callous and amoral and awesome...I just love Indignant!Loki. And PO'd!Clint.
Thanks! Indignant!Loki's one of my favourites too :)
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“Director, allow me to assure you that the only thing endangering Coulson’s health at the current time will be the knowledge of what you did to his vintage collector cards.” is pure genius
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