NOTHING TO PROVE TO YOU
i dont have class til 1 tomorrow and i'm in the weirdest of moods so i read through a bunch of this journal. i must say, i laughed really loud at it like 6 times. but that's probably just b/c today i regained the capacity to laugh at myself about absolutely nothing. and that, friends, is great.
i also noticed that back then, my life-expressing fight club line would have been 'trust me, everything's gonna be fine...you met me at a very strange time in my life'. but now, i would say that it's 'at least she's trying to hit bottom'. and i need to change that. right? right. i actually TRIED to cry today and failed. i was studying for tomorrow's quiz, thinking about my affairs as of late, and i was like 'emmy, this is a perfect opportunity to cry. try it. TRY IT!' so i put my head down on my desk and i just got mad, not sad. and i sure didn't get glad. but i DO like gladware. i guess it's b/c anger is less weak of an emotion than sadness is. so i just don't get sad. but i can tell you that i've been awfully angry.
since i watched eternal sunshine twice a couple weeks ago, i wanted to ask you guys if you would ever do that...erase someone. the first time i saw it when it came out i said no. and i still want to be a good person and say no. but to be honest, sometimes i really wish i could. really.
so right after i failed miserably at crying again, 'kung-fu fighting' came on my wmp, and it just solidified my anger-over-sadness mentality. it was so awesome. seriously...some songs are just amazing. KUNG FU.
my mom just made me earl grey tea. earrrrrl. at my bio lab tonight we had to use agarose powder, and looking at it made me crave cocaine.
i've been writing stuff in this WAY TOO MUCH and i don't know why. ok i do. it's b/c i should be doing homework. i guess i'm gonna go drink tea now. i'm sorry for the nonsense, and remember...
'just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you' ...kurt cobain
'you're not fucking me; and i'm so glad that i'm not fucking you' ...reel big fish
'so i've got that going for me, which is nice.' ...caddyshack
i also noticed that back then, my life-expressing fight club line would have been 'trust me, everything's gonna be fine...you met me at a very strange time in my life'. but now, i would say that it's 'at least she's trying to hit bottom'. and i need to change that. right? right. i actually TRIED to cry today and failed. i was studying for tomorrow's quiz, thinking about my affairs as of late, and i was like 'emmy, this is a perfect opportunity to cry. try it. TRY IT!' so i put my head down on my desk and i just got mad, not sad. and i sure didn't get glad. but i DO like gladware. i guess it's b/c anger is less weak of an emotion than sadness is. so i just don't get sad. but i can tell you that i've been awfully angry.
since i watched eternal sunshine twice a couple weeks ago, i wanted to ask you guys if you would ever do that...erase someone. the first time i saw it when it came out i said no. and i still want to be a good person and say no. but to be honest, sometimes i really wish i could. really.
so right after i failed miserably at crying again, 'kung-fu fighting' came on my wmp, and it just solidified my anger-over-sadness mentality. it was so awesome. seriously...some songs are just amazing. KUNG FU.
my mom just made me earl grey tea. earrrrrl. at my bio lab tonight we had to use agarose powder, and looking at it made me crave cocaine.
i've been writing stuff in this WAY TOO MUCH and i don't know why. ok i do. it's b/c i should be doing homework. i guess i'm gonna go drink tea now. i'm sorry for the nonsense, and remember...
'just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you' ...kurt cobain
'you're not fucking me; and i'm so glad that i'm not fucking you' ...reel big fish
'so i've got that going for me, which is nice.' ...caddyshack