And I feel nothing.....not sane

[wickedslayer]

I was like a shadow, a ghost haunting some random cabin in the desert of New Mexico. Did exactly what he told me to do and stayed the hell out of his way. Anytime he came into a room I was in, I just clung to the wall and moved to the next one, hopin' he'd be busy doin' whatever it was he did. Sometimes I heard him tinkering around in the kitchen,

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[wickedslayer]

Breathing hard, I tried so hard to keep it together, fueled by rage. That was what he wanted, right? He wanted Faith the rage cage girl come out to play. Pretty little nutcase with nothin' left to lose. Fine. Maybe I'd start out on his ass. Triumphant little smirk on my face when I caught him straight in the chest with the sharp end of the crowbar. I'd get his throat! Go right for the jugular.

"She told me she was comin'! Caller ID." I smirked at him even more cruelly. "How long do you think it'll be before she gets here. See that's the bitch, baby. You think I don't know that? B's got no reason to help me. I think she would, remember that little rooftop incident? Remember how she protected me from the Council after I stole her body and fucked her boyfriend? And why? Cause you wanted her to. She might not give a rat's ass about me, but you? She'd storm in here just to see if what I said about you bein' a fucking psychopath is true. Me gettin' rescued from your insane ass? Just an added bonus."

Squeezing down on the crowbar with two hands I made myself like the pain. Always liked it a little bit before but now I just owned it. Made it mine as I pushed past it and glared up at him.

"So come on, you sick fuck. What are you waitin' for?" I saw the rage play out in his eyes as he took another swing at me with the kendo stick. Sloppy sloppy. Easily I deflected the blow and slammed the crowbar into his hip, knockin' him clear across the room. Holy shit. I did that! Me. I gaped for a minute as he climbed back to his feet and glared at me. Okay, keep it together, Faith. You can do this.

"Why don't you just back off? Calvary's on it's way. Only a matter of time."

[psycho_angelus]

Fuck that hurt. That was going to be one hell of a damn bruise. This is what I get for giving the tiger back her teeth. I'm too pissed off, I can't focus properly, and that's going to lead to a whole lot of trouble. She might be able to win if she can get me off my feet again. The drugs had almost totally worn off now, which wasn't helping one bit.

"I don't back off, I never have. Certainly won't do it when I'm up against the second best ex-slayer." Shouldn't piss her off more, but she's like me, the rage makes you do stupid shit, get yourself into situations you can't get back out of. "I'm sure they're all having a little meeting right now, talking about you and all the wonderful things you've done in the past. They'll be right on over."

As I talked, I slowly let myself calm down a bit and move closer. Faith still had that wild look in her eyes, which made me grin. Just had to knock her out for a couple of minutes, then she could really learn her lesson. This time I was ready. I came at her, swinging the stick low, and she dodged, but not fast enough. It caught her in the knee almost hard enough to do some serious damage. She brought the crowbar down and I almost managed to block, but got cut in the arm. "Fuck!"

Okay, enough of this shit. With a snarl, I faked a blow to her head, causing Faith to bring the crowbar up. As soon as I had room, I brought the kendo stick straight into her gut as hard as I could, and I heard all the air go out of her lungs. She started to drop towards the floor, and my knee came up and got her in the throat.

I smiled as Faith gagged. When the crowbar fell out of her fingers, I made no effort to kick it away. My hand came down, wrapping in her hair and I started to drag her out of the office towards the guest bedroom. "I have such a wonderful suprise for you. You're going to love it." The next thing I knew, a very sensitive part of me was suddenly feeling like it was on fire and I had to let go of her. Bitch had grabbed my cock, twisting it. I doubled over. Guess she still wanted to play. Soon as I caught my breath, I would.

[wickedslayer]

I wrapped my hand around his dick and squeezed so hard I was pretty sure he'd never be able to knock anyone up with little psychos. Which frankly? Kinda comforting considering my pretty precarious situation. As soon as he let me go I rolled over and smashed both of my wounded feet into his chest. He fell back to the floor hard and I had to hold back another scream. Every little fiber of my body was on fire, I could feel it coursin' through my veins.

Breathing hard I scrambled up off the floor painfully. Felt like a giant walking bruise and I knew he was gonna wake up feelin' pretty bad too.

"Stupid bitch! Fucking bitch!" I screamed at him, smashing his feet hard with the kendo stick. "Stupid bitch! Why won't you behave?" I yelled so loud I almost thought that the entire state of New Mexico might hear me. He screamed in pain and I finally stopped, and took a step back lookin' at the black and blue flesh on his feet. I'd hurt him wicked bad. Oh God, I was sorry. I didn't mean, he looked hurt and....okay, get it together, Faith. Wasn't supposed to hurt him, was supposed to love him. Cause that killed the rage. I wanted the rage to be dead. Didn't wanna hurt anymore.

"Get up." I said quietly, takin' a few more steps backwards until my back hit the wall. "GET UP!!!!" Breathing so hard I thought my heart might explode out of my chest as I watched him pull himself up to his feet.

"Just get in your car and go. They'll be here soon. You can leave me here. You can go."

[psycho_angelus]

She'd beaten me in a fight. No one ever beat me. My head felt like it was going to explode as I slowly got to my feet. I wasn't even close to being steady at the moment. My body hurt and I don't remember it ever feeling like this before. Usually it would start to fade, but now... why wasn't it going away? Why did it hurt so fucking much?

Faith was talking, but I wasn't listening. I was too busy looking at my feet. "I think you broke a couple of my toes." The way I said it made me freeze up. That didn't sound like me at all. Tried to wiggle the toes, and a couple of them didn't move right. I slowly turned and looked at her. "Fix it. Fix it now. It wasn't supposed to be like this."

My hand reached out and ran through the blood on my stomach before poking at the wound on my arm. They were still bleeding. That shouldn't be happening either. Focus here Angelus, you're acting like a nutjob. I made my way over to where she was, ignoring the fact that she still had the kendo stick. "I can't leave, I saved you. You're supposed to come with me."

So fucking tired all of a sudden. Turned away from Faith, knowing that if she wanted to kill me, now was her chance. I'd said I didn't back off, and that seemed to be what I was doing as I staggered down the hall towards the guest room. Almost made it there when the hip she'd hit with the crowbar twitched and I almost fell to the ground. "I'm fine." Yeah, right.

[wickedslayer]

Frowning I watched him stand up, but he didn't threaten me, didn't make a move to hurt me. Instead he looked so....defeated. Wanted to use the oppurtunity to tie his ass down and see how he liked it in the trunk. Wanted to so bad, but then he just turned away from me. He stagged down the hallway before fallin' to the ground before announcing he was fine. Yeah right, fine my ass.

Okay, run Faith, you stupid bitch. Run. Because now is your big chance and he can't do shit to stop you. B's gonna come and rescue you and you should take the car and bail before he gets back up. Find the keys....he had hidden them. They were probably on him. Right, on him. The keys. Just had to find 'em and I could drive and find a phone and call Buffy.

Tentatively I stepped over to him and looked down at his face twisted in a mask of pain. How does it feel you son of a bitch. Ignoring him I turned him over onto his back, the kendo stick still held tightly in one hand. If he tried to grab me I'd just beat him to death. My hands strayed over his shirt pocket and I dug around but they weren't in there. Next I dove into his pants pockets tryin' to find 'em but I couldn't.

"Where are the keys?" I asked him, my hand suddenly straying over his chest, his heart. Swallowing hard I looked down into his face while I felt his heart beating so fiercely in his chest. I could feel it, could feel him. He looked all broken, but he was still dangerous and I instantly recoiled. "Where'd you put the keys?" I asked him again.

[psycho_angelus]

This sucked. Part of me just wanted to stay right here on the floor. It was a nice floor. The other part was screaming at me to remember who I was, what I'd done, and to get back on my feet before she finished me off. Could hear Faith coming closer and there really wasn't much I could do about it right now, I was trying to figure out how to make the pain go away long enough to think straight.

Then she was standing over me, rolling my body onto my back, which I had to say, made things hurt worse. She was looking for something and I blinked a couple of times before it registered. "Keys?" Oh right, for the car. That was a really good question. If my head wasn't pounding so much right now, maybe I could remember.

Started to reach up to rub my temple and Faith gripped the kendo stick so tightly that her knuckles turned white. "I was just going to rub my head. It hurts." I managed to scoot back a little from her and thougth for a minute. I'd been wasted out of my skull when I'd put them away for safe keeping, so they could be anywhere. But I didn't think she'd like that answer and at the moment, she had the upper hand. "I don't know?"

Moved back a little further and slowly sat up, wincing in pain a few times. "They could be anywhere, I wasn't really paying attention at the time." I looked at her as I reached out and put my hand on the wall. Started to get to my feet, not taking my eyes from hers. I was waiting for another attack. "Why?" She gave me a look. "Why didn't you finish me off when you had the chance? That's twice now."

[wickedslayer]

I instantly fell back on my ass when he scooted away from me, he'd taken me off guard. Kinda like a wounded animal you didn't wanna get too close to in case it lashed out at you. Watchin him carefully I frowned when he couldn't remember where the keys were. Well, that was fine. We could just both wait here for B to come and get me. For her to see with her own two eyes that Angel was....I'd almost beaten him to death. Not exactly the most convincing thing to show her.

"If I thought I could throw you in there, your ass would be in the trunk right now. You know that?" I asked spitefully as I pulled myself to my feet and watched him curiously as he did his best to stand up too. He towered over me but one little push and he'd be on his ass again. That was right, he wanted to show me that I wasn't weak and he had. Still strong, just not the way I used to be.

I didn't know how to answer his question, cause I could him right now 'cept I wasn't.

"Maybe I just want proof that you're a crazy bitch now." I spat back at him, still givin' him an angry glare that kept wantin' to soften. No. No soft Faith for him! Crazy asshole that he was. "Because you look like...that." I finally admitted, letting my frown grow deeper lettin' him in on that little one. Not that he didn't already know, but he was kinda wearin' the face of the one thing that had saved me.

"She's gonna come for me." I said, nodding my head up and down before takin' a few steps back from him. "Just a matter of time." I couldn't tear my eyes from his.

[psycho_angelus]

Had a feeling that I knew where the keys were, because that's the oddest place they would be. Why would she need the keys anyway? She knew how to hotwire cars, people like Faith always knew shit like that. I straightened up, still watching at her. She didn't kill me because her good buddy Angel and I looked the same. Guess that was a plus.

"If they come, I'll give them all a very nice welcome that they won't forget." I was starting to feel a bit better now as I began to pad down the hall again. Not like my old self, but as close as it was going to be until I didn't hurt so much. Faith would have to pay for this, but not today.

Turned back to look at Faith again, and she tensed up. "Going to take a shower, see if I can clear my head enough to find the keys. Clean up that fucking mess you made in the training room before you put something through your foot. Not unless you want a scar that'll match the one on your hand." I snorted and kept limping towards the guest room.

[wickedslayer]

I watched him wearily as he headed down the hallway, before turning and demanding that I clean up the mess. Excuse me? I was waitin' for the 'get me my dinner, bitch' next. Fuck him. I wasn't anyone's little fucking bitch and he could clean up his own fucking mess. Had he already forgotten how I'd just cleaned his clock for real? I knew I'd never forget it, the look of defeat in his eyes as he lay on the ground. That was the sorta thing that'd stay with a girl.

"Clean up your own fucking mess." I muttered, any trace of sympathy I'd had for him suddenly vanishing. He headed into the guest room and it wasn't long til I heard the shower runnin'. I had to play this right. Had to find the keys, or just wait it out for B, cause I knew she'd come for me. Problem was, keepin' the psycho looney away from me til she got here. Just wanted him to hop in his car and go, leave me here. Thought about following after him and stabbin' him to death in the shower. But I didn't....again. And now that'd I'd admitted to him that I wouldn't kill him cause he looked like Angel, I was sure he would use that against me in the future...alot.

Still gripping the kendo stick in one hand I walked back into the bedroom and found his stuff. Unzipping his duffel bag I turned it upside down and let the contents spill out all over the floor. Dropping to my hands and knees I began combing over everything, every little piece of material tryin' to find the fucking keys. After a minute it was obvious they weren't there.

"Fuck." I cursed under my breath, as I got back to my feet and started goin' through drawers and papers, tryin' to find the keys to my escape.

[psycho_angelus]

I took my time stripping down and checking my body over before I finally let myself get under the water in teh shower. I fucking hurt, and I didn't like that one bit. But even worse than that, Faith had kicked my ass. The only thing that had stopped her from killing me was the fact that I looked like the Souled Wonder. I didn't like feeling weak, and now I'd have to do something to counter it.

Knew for sure that a couple of toes were broken, but there isn't much I can do about that, other than make sure they aren't crooked when I tape them to the other toes. Ribs and hip hurt, and I could see some huge bruises starting to show up on various parts of my body. The wounds from the crowbar on my chest and arm weren't too bad, I could wrap them up.

She wanted me to leave before Buffy and her friends showed up. I couldn't go, not without her. I'd put way too much effort into this to just let her slip away. All that hard work would be going right down the drain. I glanced down, watching the little streaks of crimson swirl around my feet. Faith can't get away with hurting me, I shouldn't allow it.

When I got out of the shower, I dried off and took care of my wounds. That was a little more important than revenge. Revenge could always wait. Then I pulled my shorts on, leaving the rest of my clothes on the bathroom floor. She still had that kendo stick, I'd need something just as strong. Walked over to the bedroom closet and started rooting round. When my hand closed on the handle of a bat, a smile crossed my lips.

I could hear her making a mess. Bad girl, always making messes. Also meant she'd be distracted. Slowly made my way to the room where she was and saw that she'd been through my things. That pissed me off and my fingers tightened on the handle. Just had to knock her out, and then I'd teach her a lesson.

Moved until I was right behind her, raising the bat up. "You're looking in the wrong place, Faithy." She started to turn and I brought the bat around, slamming it between her shoulderblades. Faith started to drop and I swung again, this time hitting her in the back of the neck. She was stunned, so I took the time to knock the kendo stick away.

"You're going to pay for hurting me, making me look weak." I grabbed her by the arm and started to drag her ass towards the guest room. Faith started to struggle just before we reached the door, but I twisted this time so she couldn't grab me like before.

Got her through the doorway and she saw the open chest. She struggled harder, but I managed to throw her in face first, slamming the lid down. Latched it shut and then sat on top of it. "That's what you get for fucking hurting me. You can rot in there."

[wickedslayer]

I heard his voice one second to late and the bat was slamming down on the back of my neck. I'd dropped the kendo stick and I heard it clatter, rolling to the floor as his hand wrapped back around my arm and I was bein' dragged back to the guest room. I kicked and screamed but I was mostly out of it as I got slammed face first into the trunk.

"No!" I screamed as the lid slammed down and I heard the lock being clicked close. "No! NO!" I screamed pounding my hands and my feet against the wood so hard it hurt. everything hurt so bad but I ignored it and kept pounding. I let him live and this is what happened to me because of it. Stupid stupid Faith. God, I was so fucking stupid.

"Let me out!" Pounding as hard as I could, breathing hard. Cause it felt like I couldn't even breathe in there. "Let me out! I'll fucking kill you next time! Let me out! Stop bein' a pussy and lockin' me up!" My voice rawred loudly, but after a few minutes I'd screamed myself ragged and let the dark silence suffocate me slowly.