Reading About Love - Like or Dislike?

[norilana]

Okay, so I've asked the sex question, and the responses were fascinating -- more people than I've expected admitted not to liking reading about it, gave some excellent valid reasons (connection between sex and abuse in so many people's minds, wrong mood, dissonance between author and reader), which in turn makes me wonder, if "sex sells," then who'

Comments

[upstart_crow]

I'd love to answer. But I wanna make sure I am clear first.

Do you mean love as in romantic love, or are we also talking other brands of love like philia, agape, etc.?

[norilanabooks]

I would say all brands of love, and if you want to discuss romantic it becomes a bit difficult to dissociate it from sex, but it can be done. No sex in this post! *grin*

[upstart_crow]

I think I can do it just fine without sex

[spartezda]

Oh, yes! I agree with your point entirely.

[onalark]

Stories where the love doesn't seem "genuine" or anchored in reality -- warts and all -- don't appeal to me...usually.

The love needs to be leavened with realism for me to buy into it -- otherwise I just end up rolling my eyes. Bumps need to litter the road. People need to believably mess and make up.

I'm really trying to be specific, but having a hard time at it!

[norilana]

Ooooh, interesting about the non-genuine aspect!

[spartezda]

I have trouble with a lot of relationships written by women, because often the guy(s) involved don't ring true to me--like a woman's fantasy of a man instead of an actual one. I am female, but I don't like much touchy-feely or excessive emotion; I really really enjoy characters with very quiet styles of expressing 'softer' emotions, where the narrative and their non-verbal actions show how much a relationship means to them, and I the reader extrapolate the passion of their emotions (not romantic passion, necessarily, just in terms of intensity).

I love stories centered on a very strong, platonic friendship between two MCs. I just don't find them very often. :)

[norilana]

Ok, interesting, and then this begs the question, what about relationships written by men?

Incidentally, I am with you on the non-verbal show don't tell. In fact, I am fascinated when there is the opposite overt dislike while there is love underneath.

[amberdine]

I can't believe I missed the sex question! Maybe I'll go add a comment after this, though from your summary it looks like my viewpoint was covered pretty well.

I don't dislike love in books. In fact, I kind of expect some hints of romance... but... while I read for entertainment, what I find most entertaining in a novel is intellectual/philosophical stimulation, not emotional stimulation. I get very absorbed in novels, and I get upset if the emotional manipulation becomes too blatant. Plots where love is the main component can hardly help but be highly manipulative in this way.

[norilana]

Please feel free to add to the sex question, there is still plenty to add, I'm sure!

And thanks for bringing up the notion of intellectual vs. emotional entertainment.

[realthog]

As you know, Vera, you having read Leaving Fortusa (see http://norilanabooks.livejournal.com/38421.html for LOTS AND LOTS on this), what I really write about most often, despite all the rest of my concerns, is love: the focus of my stories is almost always how people tick, and love is a very large part of that.

This goes through to my reading, too. When I was an adolescent I thought sf was all about cold ideas and new approaches to faster-than-light travel. Later (insert cries of "duh!" at will) it occurred to me that all this technological stuff was just the backdrop: what I should be looking at were responses to it by humans or animals or robots or aliens -- but very certainly the responses to all the wonders