depressed entry
so im depressed that's about it um i don't know I just realized that i don't have many friends. Crystal never wants to hangout and anytime that she does anything she never tells me. Kyle is always working, which I am proud of but I miss him. New Years Eve is coming up and I asked everyone at work what they were doing.......and most of them are going to go to parties and what not. i don't have any parties to go to b.c. I don't hangout with the "cool" crew. Sometimes I just wish i would die. Ive been trying so hard to not get upset or anything at anyone but it doesn't change anything. I try to get people to do stuff with me and they are always busy or they just don't want to hangout. Plus there is stuff going on with my dad but I don't even want to get started on that. It looks like all ill be doing for New Years is goiong to work and then sitting on my ass doing nothing.......o wait I do that all the time EVERYDAY. Sorry that this is so depressing and that I sound like a fucking emo kid (no offense to anyone) but I just can't take it anymore. On top of that I think I am starting to gain weight, which is not a good thing, I have already had two eating disorders and just the thought of gaining weight brings all that pressure back on me. Anyways to tie things up with this entry I willl leave by saying this: I would rather not have any friends at all, than friends who could give a fuck less if I lived or died.