i lied.

[nordenstam]

i cant breathe with these words in my mouth.

im in love with you. and as many analogies as i possibly use, i'm just going to be as blunt as possible. i love you, and us, and everything thats going on about us, and i love being with you and just. i dont know if itll hurt me more to not tell you any of this, or for you to not feel the same as i do, but its only the truth. and ill never say any of this out loud because i dont know how.

i dont know how to tell you the great spectre that is shawn is the only thing that i think about from sun rise to sun set and every other second in between. i dont know how to tell you that i couldnt possibly wake up tomorrow if really didnt know you were there. i dont know how you dont know that i would and have turned my world inside out and backwards to be try to be this person for you. and i never thought i could feel this way and want to be this great of a person just for...

dark nights. i was watching you sleep and i kept going on about all these things. how the way i felt was like... stars. and all that jazz.

and we come to, hi, do i want this enough to risk loosing everything?