This is EXACTLY why i dont put myself out there emotionally
He replied. It was like having a bucket of ice water thrown at me.
I didn't expect him to reply at all, and i would have felt quite bad if he hadn't, but still, it would have been a fuck of a lot better than what he said... I never anticipated his reply would make me feel sick.
First, I am a bit mad bc somehow through his tone, I think he was implying that my intentions were somehow dirty, which they absolutely weren't. And then he had this high and mighty attitude about how much he loves his wife and is perfectly fine with her insecurity about him talking with other women, and how he *hopes* I love my fiance, and that the fact I still wanted to hold onto his friendship, after all this time, somehow meant there was something wrong with me, or is questionable at best.
Ouch. Here I was after a fuck of a lot of soul searching, thinking about how there were certain ppl in my life I was indebted to for various reasons, and how one should try to hold on to those people bc not everyone who passes by in ur life necessarily leaves a mark... and then he proceeds to tell me how he basically doesnt hold onto anyone but the ppl in his present, and basically the fuck with everyone else.
I guess I'm disappointed. I'm not even sure what the lesson to be learned here really is. All I can say is, I said what I felt, and regardless of what his twisted brain lead him to believe, my conscience is clearer than ever for having been honest, and for the record, my fiance trusts ME enough to let me have a coffee with an old ex bc he understands the concept of emotional bonds beyond sex. woopty-fucking-doo.
He did say one useful thing: (I have to admit, i will miss talking to someone who is so deep & thoughtful) that trying to connect with old friends is an attempt to hold onto the past itself. I dont see that as a bad thnng, so long as ur still connected to ur future and present; but I guess he thinks only losers do that.
Ok, I'm done ranting. I dont hate him or anything either.. In fact, I'm thinking whether I should reply or not (probably I will not) but at least now I have total closure on this whole issue and no regrets.
and now i'm being booted off the comp. fuck.
I didn't expect him to reply at all, and i would have felt quite bad if he hadn't, but still, it would have been a fuck of a lot better than what he said... I never anticipated his reply would make me feel sick.
First, I am a bit mad bc somehow through his tone, I think he was implying that my intentions were somehow dirty, which they absolutely weren't. And then he had this high and mighty attitude about how much he loves his wife and is perfectly fine with her insecurity about him talking with other women, and how he *hopes* I love my fiance, and that the fact I still wanted to hold onto his friendship, after all this time, somehow meant there was something wrong with me, or is questionable at best.
Ouch. Here I was after a fuck of a lot of soul searching, thinking about how there were certain ppl in my life I was indebted to for various reasons, and how one should try to hold on to those people bc not everyone who passes by in ur life necessarily leaves a mark... and then he proceeds to tell me how he basically doesnt hold onto anyone but the ppl in his present, and basically the fuck with everyone else.
I guess I'm disappointed. I'm not even sure what the lesson to be learned here really is. All I can say is, I said what I felt, and regardless of what his twisted brain lead him to believe, my conscience is clearer than ever for having been honest, and for the record, my fiance trusts ME enough to let me have a coffee with an old ex bc he understands the concept of emotional bonds beyond sex. woopty-fucking-doo.
He did say one useful thing: (I have to admit, i will miss talking to someone who is so deep & thoughtful) that trying to connect with old friends is an attempt to hold onto the past itself. I dont see that as a bad thnng, so long as ur still connected to ur future and present; but I guess he thinks only losers do that.
Ok, I'm done ranting. I dont hate him or anything either.. In fact, I'm thinking whether I should reply or not (probably I will not) but at least now I have total closure on this whole issue and no regrets.
and now i'm being booted off the comp. fuck.