(no subject)

[nopremonition]

I'm trying to do some gov reading but my mind is so scattered I am pausing. I'm feeling elated: I ran into one of my favourite past TFs and met with one of my favourite professors, who both offered me a lot of help and advice. Sometimes when I talk to people much older than me, who are doing their own research and work etc, I feel much more confident about how I am spending my days. I am always excited to be around people who are immersed in searching and writing and learning. Sometimes I feel like I'd like to spend less time in meetings and more time with my readings and research. Partly I suppose it's easier for me to see the immediate value when I read something new, and partly I like to do things that don't necessitate depending on others. I think it's that sense that I can do many things and be many people that always makes me hesitate and question myself, my trajectory. It's difficult to remember all the things you'd like to do, all the little memos in your head to you know, be adventurous! Take a risk! Spend less money! whatever your disparate goals may be.

But you can always stop and take stock.
So I think I should stop worrying at this point, and just finish my year, since I have a lot in front of me to complete. I think that is what I will concentrate on.