can i get a do-over?
i'm either done with thursday and ready to be over or i want to roll a do-over. i woke up this morning cranky and feeling fat. even though i've been working out every single day this week, i feel like it's not doing any good. i worked out last week, too, and i even gained weight from the week before. it's not like i'm weighing myself every single morning, but it was kinda disheartening to see that i had gained 1.5lb since the previous week when i had lost 2lbs when i didn't life a finger that week for being sick. i'm just getting impatient. i'm one of those instant-gratification people and having to wait this long before seeing any progress makes me impatient. i want results people! i look in the mirror and i don't look any different. my jeans don't feel any different. i feel frumpy. i'm getting sick of my wardrobe, yet i don't know what i want to buy. i go to stores and i can't find anything that i like. or, i find something that i DO like and it's a million dollars. not literally, of course, but it might as well be, anyway, you get what i mean. i know, having a mom who's a lifetime member of weight watchers, that the slower you lose the weight the longer it'll stay off. when you lose it quickly, that's when as soon as you relax and let yourself go just a little bit, it's right back on again. i know that the weight-loss road i'm taking is a healthy one: i'm watching what i eat and exercising more. i've cut out all snacking. because of marshall's strict rules, i haven't even had ice cream in, what feels like, ages. in the last month or so, i have only had fast food 3 times. you'd think that a combination of these things would mean loss of weight, but no. i stopped drinking soda, even though i didn't drink that much before (i could hardly finish a can of coke, just cuz i'd get tired of it). so yeah, i'm just feeling disgruntled with the whole thing.
i also think that i accidentally hurt one of my coworker's feelings. she drinks a lot of diet coke and i was just genuinely curious how much she drinks and i got a very curt answer and i think i might've touched on a sore spot. i didn't mean to and i didn't know. i tend to do things like this: i get comfortable with someone and then i'll open my mouth, being all "me", and say something that'll hurt their feelings. of course, i could just be imaging all of this and the reason she gave me a curt answer was because she was busy. i dunno. it could just be how i'm feeling today, but i've been feeling that everyone's pissed at me. i know that's not possible, but that's how i'm feeling.
i keep making stupid mistakes with some of my projects recently. i don't know how i'm missing these things, but i am, and when they're noticed i feel like a complete idiot. i don't know if it's because i've just recently been super busy and i'm just now getting some down-time, but i'm tired of being frustrated with myself.
just all around a cruddy day. i've been super stuffed up all day. i now think that i don't have a cold but a serious case of bad allergies. something's up in the air and my nose ain't likin' it. plus, the weather turned all gray and rainy. on the one hand i'm grateful to see some moisture in the air, but on the other gray days are just depressing. especially when you're already feeling down.
the one bright side - i found a listing on craigslist for a job at an art gallery downtown. they need a development associate: someone to assist the assistant director of the gallery with things to do. the gallery is the san jose institute of contemporary art. it looks really cool and the job seems something that i can totally do. i'm nervous, though, because they're asking for a writing sample and a reference. i know people i can ask for references, but i just get nervous about these things, ya know? so yeah, we'll see what happens with that...museum hours are better than having to get up at 6:30 every morning. plus, it pays more than what i'm making here.
i also think that i accidentally hurt one of my coworker's feelings. she drinks a lot of diet coke and i was just genuinely curious how much she drinks and i got a very curt answer and i think i might've touched on a sore spot. i didn't mean to and i didn't know. i tend to do things like this: i get comfortable with someone and then i'll open my mouth, being all "me", and say something that'll hurt their feelings. of course, i could just be imaging all of this and the reason she gave me a curt answer was because she was busy. i dunno. it could just be how i'm feeling today, but i've been feeling that everyone's pissed at me. i know that's not possible, but that's how i'm feeling.
i keep making stupid mistakes with some of my projects recently. i don't know how i'm missing these things, but i am, and when they're noticed i feel like a complete idiot. i don't know if it's because i've just recently been super busy and i'm just now getting some down-time, but i'm tired of being frustrated with myself.
just all around a cruddy day. i've been super stuffed up all day. i now think that i don't have a cold but a serious case of bad allergies. something's up in the air and my nose ain't likin' it. plus, the weather turned all gray and rainy. on the one hand i'm grateful to see some moisture in the air, but on the other gray days are just depressing. especially when you're already feeling down.
the one bright side - i found a listing on craigslist for a job at an art gallery downtown. they need a development associate: someone to assist the assistant director of the gallery with things to do. the gallery is the san jose institute of contemporary art. it looks really cool and the job seems something that i can totally do. i'm nervous, though, because they're asking for a writing sample and a reference. i know people i can ask for references, but i just get nervous about these things, ya know? so yeah, we'll see what happens with that...museum hours are better than having to get up at 6:30 every morning. plus, it pays more than what i'm making here.