(no subject)
So, it's been more than a year and a half since I posted here. I suuuuuuck. I wonder if I have any friends left at all. No reason why I can't post more, I suppose. It's just like I'm talking to myself, but instead of looking crazy at work, I look productive. If I have no friends on my list left, as I suspect, it really is talking to myself. AND the internets. The addition of a fourth child three and a half years ago really put me in a position to ahve less ability to communicate - on the phone, by email, by message board, by LJ, by Pancake. And in person.
I'm not lonely, but I really really miss my friends. And I wonder if my latest dip in the depression pool has anything to do with the feeling of isolation I have sometimes. My kids are, very literally, hanging all over me every second that they can. My anxiety is fairly well managed. I wonder if all of that has served to distract or mask depression. I have to feed the kids, I have to work. I have to pick the kids up from school. I have to put clothes on to go to work. I have to pee sometimes. Otherwise, I think I'd stay in bed all day doing old NYT crosswords that I haven't gotten to yet. Even as I write this, I am jealous of my imaginary self that would love to do that all day. In front of the many TV series waiting for me in my DVR. I'm like a season behind in everything that isn't competitive or reality-based. Once Real and Chance make their choices, I'll be completely caught up in all of that (even I can't watch The Bachelor anymore). Oh, except Momma's Boys. That's reality crack right there. I love the Jewish mama.
I can't believe American Idol is going to start again, and I have to watch it again. Whither SYTYCD?
I'm not lonely, but I really really miss my friends. And I wonder if my latest dip in the depression pool has anything to do with the feeling of isolation I have sometimes. My kids are, very literally, hanging all over me every second that they can. My anxiety is fairly well managed. I wonder if all of that has served to distract or mask depression. I have to feed the kids, I have to work. I have to pick the kids up from school. I have to put clothes on to go to work. I have to pee sometimes. Otherwise, I think I'd stay in bed all day doing old NYT crosswords that I haven't gotten to yet. Even as I write this, I am jealous of my imaginary self that would love to do that all day. In front of the many TV series waiting for me in my DVR. I'm like a season behind in everything that isn't competitive or reality-based. Once Real and Chance make their choices, I'll be completely caught up in all of that (even I can't watch The Bachelor anymore). Oh, except Momma's Boys. That's reality crack right there. I love the Jewish mama.
I can't believe American Idol is going to start again, and I have to watch it again. Whither SYTYCD?