Well the good news is that he knows exactly how I feel. I'm notoriously bad at hiding positive feelings about people (which in truth is a pretty good flaw), and he's explicitly told me he knows this. I'm absolutely smitten by him, attracted to him both physically and emotionally. That's in my brain though.
I won't deny that I wish we were dating, and that feeling probably isn't going away anytime soon. He understands and accepts this, but he knows me well enough to realize I would never try to break them up. Wishing for something that benefits me and actively hurting someone else to get it are two very different things. And although I'm certainly jealous, I do respect his boyfriend and their relationship.
I don't even know how to respond to that third paragraph of your comment. Is that what you imagine we talk about, and is that how you think I'm acting? I know you said it was a hypothetical, but I don't know how you think that I'd be capable of something so duplicitious and just plain wicked.
But yes, I'm getting a lot of my needs met in this friendship -- good companionship, an excellent listener, someone with whom I feel safe enough to be vulnerable, someone I can trust with both my good and bad sides. I have a wonderful emotional closeness with him, but that (unlike any romantic desires) is definitely reciprocated. I can't be using him for my romantic needs, since he's clearly not fulfilling them.
I won't deny that I wish we were dating, and that feeling probably isn't going away anytime soon. He understands and accepts this, but he knows me well enough to realize I would never try to break them up. Wishing for something that benefits me and actively hurting someone else to get it are two very different things. And although I'm certainly jealous, I do respect his boyfriend and their relationship.
I don't even know how to respond to that third paragraph of your comment. Is that what you imagine we talk about, and is that how you think I'm acting? I know you said it was a hypothetical, but I don't know how you think that I'd be capable of something so duplicitious and just plain wicked.
But yes, I'm getting a lot of my needs met in this friendship -- good companionship, an excellent listener, someone with whom I feel safe enough to be vulnerable, someone I can trust with both my good and bad sides. I have a wonderful emotional closeness with him, but that (unlike any romantic desires) is definitely reciprocated. I can't be using him for my romantic needs, since he's clearly not fulfilling them.
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