I have a surgery date
Friday, June 17. As many of you know, after I discovered I had breast cancer, it was revealed that I have the BRCA1 mutation, aka breast and ovarian cancer syndrome. This means that my body lacks protections against environmental carcinogens, and so I'm more prone to developing breast and ovarian cancer. Breast cancer is easily caught by screenings; ovarian cancer - not so much. Most women have a 2% chance of developing ovarian cancer by age 70; I have a 45% chance. (4% chance by age 40, 24% chance by age 50.) Because of this, treatment for women with the BRCA1 mutation is to get an oopherectomy - removal of ovaries - by age 40.
I've resisted the idea. First, it feels counterintuitive: I'm healthy, so I should do something (surgery) that will harm me? Remember, my ovaries are fine - it's the DNA protection against cellular damage that's lacking. Second, I have a better than 50% chance of never getting ovarian cancer, so why risk the surgery?
Third, this will put me into premature menopause, with all the physical and emotional turmoil that brings. Medically, premature menopause is defined as occurring before age 45; practically though, most women don't enter menopause until their early 50s. And I've read far too much about what menopause can do to me - radical hormonal fluctuations with an increased risk of insomnia and depression; inability to regulate body heat (that's what hot flashes are); change in skin, hair, and complexion; decreased flexibility in joints; increased risk of osteoporosis, heart attack and stroke. Not to mention giving up the hope of having children.
Fourth, I've never had major surgery before; the closest I've had was a lumpectomy. This will mean six weeks of recovery time, on top of insta-pause. It will mean relying on others, which terrifies me.
However, I have decided to have the surgery this summer. Because my contract has been renewed, it means I won't have to move, so will have a home in which to recover. I also realized that one of my two biggest fears is really a fear of menopause, which is something I would have to face anyway. No woman who lives to be half a century can avoid that. And realistically, it would happen naturally some time in the next 10 years, and it would be folly for me to enter into natural menopause with my ovaries intact - all of the risk with none of the benefits.
I have also decided to have the surgery here in Oxford/Cincinnati rather than in Columbus. Not only is my intuition telling me it's the right thing to do, my oncologist and my counselor think doing the surgery in Columbus and then driving back to Oxford is a really bad idea. And that's even without the complication of my parents moving this summer. The catch, of course, is that I am alone. My mother has already said that she won't come down to help me if I have the surgery here (she wants me to have it in Columbus and then drive myself back to Oxford, in my car without air conditioning, after 10 days.) I still have to tell her I have a surgery date here.
The oncologist in Cincinnati told me that I would need someone to drive me to the hospital and back; someone to stay with me for 24 hours after the surgery; people to stop by once a day to check on me for a few weeks; and help with laundry, grocery shopping, and trash for the full six weeks. So it's pretty terrifying. I've lived in six different cities in the past six years, and don't really have the same centrally-located support systems most people my age do. This will mean asking people for help, knowing that I'm being high maintenance.
So I have a lot to deal with. But at least I've finally made the decision.
I've resisted the idea. First, it feels counterintuitive: I'm healthy, so I should do something (surgery) that will harm me? Remember, my ovaries are fine - it's the DNA protection against cellular damage that's lacking. Second, I have a better than 50% chance of never getting ovarian cancer, so why risk the surgery?
Third, this will put me into premature menopause, with all the physical and emotional turmoil that brings. Medically, premature menopause is defined as occurring before age 45; practically though, most women don't enter menopause until their early 50s. And I've read far too much about what menopause can do to me - radical hormonal fluctuations with an increased risk of insomnia and depression; inability to regulate body heat (that's what hot flashes are); change in skin, hair, and complexion; decreased flexibility in joints; increased risk of osteoporosis, heart attack and stroke. Not to mention giving up the hope of having children.
Fourth, I've never had major surgery before; the closest I've had was a lumpectomy. This will mean six weeks of recovery time, on top of insta-pause. It will mean relying on others, which terrifies me.
However, I have decided to have the surgery this summer. Because my contract has been renewed, it means I won't have to move, so will have a home in which to recover. I also realized that one of my two biggest fears is really a fear of menopause, which is something I would have to face anyway. No woman who lives to be half a century can avoid that. And realistically, it would happen naturally some time in the next 10 years, and it would be folly for me to enter into natural menopause with my ovaries intact - all of the risk with none of the benefits.
I have also decided to have the surgery here in Oxford/Cincinnati rather than in Columbus. Not only is my intuition telling me it's the right thing to do, my oncologist and my counselor think doing the surgery in Columbus and then driving back to Oxford is a really bad idea. And that's even without the complication of my parents moving this summer. The catch, of course, is that I am alone. My mother has already said that she won't come down to help me if I have the surgery here (she wants me to have it in Columbus and then drive myself back to Oxford, in my car without air conditioning, after 10 days.) I still have to tell her I have a surgery date here.
The oncologist in Cincinnati told me that I would need someone to drive me to the hospital and back; someone to stay with me for 24 hours after the surgery; people to stop by once a day to check on me for a few weeks; and help with laundry, grocery shopping, and trash for the full six weeks. So it's pretty terrifying. I've lived in six different cities in the past six years, and don't really have the same centrally-located support systems most people my age do. This will mean asking people for help, knowing that I'm being high maintenance.
So I have a lot to deal with. But at least I've finally made the decision.