introducing myself to an early death of insanity...
*boys close your ears for this one*
i've been extremely hormonal lately. I cry at anything. on sunday i was at the beach with will and while he went for a surf i took a stroll along bondi beach. at the other end of the beach where the waves weren't as harsh and choppy, i saw two little boys of about 6 years old, with their foam surfboards attempting to 'rip it up' in the what really couldn't be defined as surf. it was pretty full on for their size but the little battlers kept at it. the whole image made me wish i had two little boys and next thing i know I'M CRYING! what? who? where?
also yesterday at work, i wasn't really happy and i couldn't put my finger what it was until mum called. next thing i know i'm ranting on and came to this which dana summed up clearly in one of her earlier entries:
"For the most part, things are going really well right now. Almost too well. I'm getting paranoid. Something bad is going to happen because everytime things start going well, I get my ass handed to me by a little thing I like to call life. So I'll just sit and twiddle my thumbs until whatever it is that's going to happen, happens"
i have a great job, great boyfriend, parents who are supporting me, caring friends, my skin is looking better, i've lost weight. this is all the stuff i've been wanting for the past year and yes i've been struggling but i've finally come about to grasp it all.
so what if it goes away? that would be life wouldn't it. why does it have to go away? why can't i just live a smug happy life hmm. is that so much to ask for really.
honestly i'll enjoy it while i can. that's all i can and should do. if things go shitty well whoopee right? i'll have to take a deep breath and dive into the shitty wave again until i come up from the other side of the wave. or something like that :-)
in other news this week is fairly full on. i have four birthdays on and a christmas party tomorrow. bit of a fluke happened yesterday as well. a family friend who i have had a crush on for years is apparently working in one of the co-companies with patts (the company i work for)! he wasn't in yesterday but fancy that? i know who i'll be honing in on at the christmas party tomorrow night now :-)
i'm happy. good.
i've been extremely hormonal lately. I cry at anything. on sunday i was at the beach with will and while he went for a surf i took a stroll along bondi beach. at the other end of the beach where the waves weren't as harsh and choppy, i saw two little boys of about 6 years old, with their foam surfboards attempting to 'rip it up' in the what really couldn't be defined as surf. it was pretty full on for their size but the little battlers kept at it. the whole image made me wish i had two little boys and next thing i know I'M CRYING! what? who? where?
also yesterday at work, i wasn't really happy and i couldn't put my finger what it was until mum called. next thing i know i'm ranting on and came to this which dana summed up clearly in one of her earlier entries:
"For the most part, things are going really well right now. Almost too well. I'm getting paranoid. Something bad is going to happen because everytime things start going well, I get my ass handed to me by a little thing I like to call life. So I'll just sit and twiddle my thumbs until whatever it is that's going to happen, happens"
i have a great job, great boyfriend, parents who are supporting me, caring friends, my skin is looking better, i've lost weight. this is all the stuff i've been wanting for the past year and yes i've been struggling but i've finally come about to grasp it all.
so what if it goes away? that would be life wouldn't it. why does it have to go away? why can't i just live a smug happy life hmm. is that so much to ask for really.
honestly i'll enjoy it while i can. that's all i can and should do. if things go shitty well whoopee right? i'll have to take a deep breath and dive into the shitty wave again until i come up from the other side of the wave. or something like that :-)
in other news this week is fairly full on. i have four birthdays on and a christmas party tomorrow. bit of a fluke happened yesterday as well. a family friend who i have had a crush on for years is apparently working in one of the co-companies with patts (the company i work for)! he wasn't in yesterday but fancy that? i know who i'll be honing in on at the christmas party tomorrow night now :-)
i'm happy. good.