so i put a cd in...and it had 3 third eye blind songs on it....
the first is jumper...then semi-charmed life...then how's it goning to be
well, 'how's it going to be' completely describes what i feel right now. it's meant to much in the past and it's ironic that it's morphed into something that completely encompasses my emotions. i thought i would cry when i heard this song...but i didn't. i actually felt anger build in me. it's an anger that i've had for a while...and will continue to carry with me. i'm not sure when i'll let it go. i'm not sure if i'll forgive michelle. one day i will. one day it won't hurt at all. i can't wait for that day to come, but as of right now i hate her. if i were to ever see her it'd take everything i have within me to restrain from beating her ass. the best thing is to stay away from her, and also to never commence in beating her ass b/c i'm not sure if i'd ever stop. it's amazing to think that out of all the emotions i've felt for michelle...rage is the only thing left.
"I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore,
Before you take a swing, I wonder what are we fighting for,
When I say out loud, I want to get out of this, I wonder,
Is there anything I'm going to miss, I wonder
How's it going to be, When you don't know me,
How's it going to be, When you're sure I'm not there,
How's it going to be, When there is no one there to talk to,
Between you and me, 'Cause I don't care,
How's it going to be,
How's it going to be,
Where we used to laugh, There's a shouting match,
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch,
A silence I can't ignore,
Like . . The hammock by the doorway we spent time in, Swing empty,
don't see lightning like last fall when it was always about to hit me, I wonder
How's it going to be, When it goes down,
How's it going to be, When you're not around,
How's it going to be, When you find out there was nothing,
Between you and me, 'Cause I don't care,
How's it going to be,
How's it going to be
When you don't know me, any more
And How's it going to be
Want to get myself back in again,
The soft dive of oblivion.
Want to taste the salt of your skin
The soft dive of oblivion, oblivion
How's it going to be, When you don't know me, anymore,
How's it going to be,
How's it going to be,
How's it going to be.
yeah, so then there's 'jumper.' there were only a few parts that stuck out in my mind, but i was completely taken aback by what it said.... i mean...i defintely called michelle out on the shit that she did to me. she completely mistreated me. i can't believe i was so blind to it for so long.... michelle hid who she was from me. i never knew the real michelle until i broke up with her and i saw her from everyone elses' point of view....
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
You could cut ties with all the lies, that you've been living in,
And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand.
I would understand,
The angry boy, a bit too insane,
Icing over a secret pain,
You know you don't belong,
You're the first to fight, You're way too loud,
You're The flash of light, On a burial shroud,
I know something's wrong,
Well everyone I know has got a reason, To say, put the past away,
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
You could cut ties with all the lies, That you've been living in,
And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand,
I would understand.
Well he's on the table, And he's gone to code,
And I do not think anyone knows,
What they are doing here,
And your friends have left, You've been dismissed,
I never thought it would come to this, And I, I want you to know,
Everyone's got to face down the demons,
Maybe today, We can put the past away,
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
You could cut ties with all the lies, that you've been living in,
And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand,
I would understand,
I would understand...
Can you put the past away, I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
I would understand...
okay, so 'semi-charmed life' definitely describes how i've been self-medicating myself recently. i feel the need to feel everything now. i want to go thru all the emotions and move on. i want to heal. i'm tired of numbing myself to michelle. i have to face down the demons just like everyone else. God knows that i'm ready...and willing. but, the lady was very good to me when i needed her....
I'm packed and I'm holding
I'm smiling, she's living, she's golden
and she lives for me
She says she lives for me
Ovation
She's got her own motivation
she comes round and she goes down on me
And I make her smile
It's like a drug for you
Do ever what you want to do
Coming over you
Keep on smiling, what we go through
One stop to the rhythm that divides you
And I speak to you like the chorus to the verse
Chop another line like a coda with a curse
I come on like a freak show takes the stage
We give them the games we play, she said
I want something else
To get me through this
Semi-charmed kind of life baby, baby
I want something else
I'm not listening when you say
Good-bye
The sky it was gold, it was rose
I was taking sips of it through my nose
And I wish I could get back there
Some place back there
Smiling in the pictures you would take
Doing crystal meth
Will lift you up until you break
It won't stop
I won't come down, I keep stock
With a tick-tock rhythm and a bump for the drop
And then I bumped up
I took the hit I was given
Then I bumped again
And then I bumped again, I said
How do I get back there to
The place where I fell asleep inside you?
How do I get myself back to
The place where you said
I want something else
to get me through this
Semi-charmed kinda life baby, baby
I want something else
I'm not listening when you say
good-bye
I believe in the sand beneath my toes
The beach gives a feeling
An earthy feeling
I believe in the faith that grows
And the four right chords can make me cry
When I'm with you I feel like I could die
And that would be all right
All right
And When the plane came in
She said she was crashing
The velvet it rips
In the city we tripped
On the urge to feel alive
But now I'm struggling to survive
Those days you were wearing
That velvet dress
You're the priestess, I must confess
Those little red panties
They pass the test
So slide up around the belly
Face down on the mattress
One
Now you hold me
And we're broken
Still its all that I want to do just a little now,
Feel myself with a head made of the ground
I'm scared but I'm not coming down, no no
And I won't run for my life
She's got her jaws just locked now in smile
but nothing is all right
All right
I want something else
To get me through this
Semi charmed kind of life
I want something else
I'm not listening when you say
Good-bye