Dont read unless you want to hear me rant.
Life is so fucking complicated. I have so much shit to deal with in my life all I need is something more to make my life suck and be shitty. Considering no one reads this anyways it doesnt really matter what I say I guess so it's just an opportunity to express my feelings. I have no idea what I want to do after high school, I mean, I want to go to college and I know what I want to study but I'm having a hard time choosing a school to go to. On top of that I have to deal with school, work, and baseball. And now I am worrying about shit with my girlfriend. Like, I love her. It's just sometimes, and more often than not lately she does things that make me mad and upset. Like her talking to this random guy for 3 hours on the phone late at night that she had just met. That really hurt, and I told her that it made me upset, and I am trying to just let it go but I cant get it out of my head that she would do that. And sometimes it just seems like she would rather be with her friends than me, actually it seems like that alot, and that they are more important to her than I am. I just dont know if I can deal with that much longer. I mean really, all I nead right now is more stress in my life than I already have. Im suprised I havent smoked more lately considering I do that when I get mad and upset. Another thing I do when Im mad and upset is I shut others out and become quiet. Anyways, Im gonna wrap this up. Fuck.