All my homies in the MB, Holla at me!
Football Game Day. i'm excited and nervous. it's hard not to worry when you're in charge of the section. we'll do fine, i'm sure... but stephanie just joined this week and she still knows nothing! its crazy! *sigh*
funny, but last night when i was listening to one of my CDs that song... "what hurts the most"... came on.. and i started to cry. i'm not really sure why. i was just remembering how it was when i first got that song. i was thinking of how much it hurt. and i was wondering what's going to happen in the future. wondering how starting at the very very beginning again is going to feel. college. the end of high school. i've hated it always in the past. but this year has been different so far. my flutes have made me so happy, and having a boyfriend that means the world to me, and knowing who all my true friends are... being completely comfortable, seeing porter after school all the time and having mr. ceo for the third year. when i go to college i have to forsake these things. when i'm gone, these relationships will all be challenged. Thomas will be further away than ever, Rebecca will be miles upon miles away too. who will be there to call me an idiot in math when i don't understand and then explain it to me with loving impatience? where will nicole be? and jess? and des? and amanda? and EVERYONE?!
i've never cared before. i figured that i just HAD to lose it all and i accepted it. everything seems to have come together this year, however and i'm suddenly second guessing my carelessness. because im sure i'll miss something of this lifestyle. like being in band.... the little things. and the big ones too. its funny. very funny to be a senior now and suddenly liking high school a little bit... but maybe what makes it all so precious is the fact that this is the end. in which case i appreciate the circumstances. after all, i'll be far more proud to see angie inherit section leader than i would be to stay and do it again. and i hope little emily takes up the staff the year after, or goes on to be field commander. and i'd love for kellie to be a drum major like she wants to, someday.
tom was over the other day. he bent one of my pictures on accident. i said to him "you're ruining my memories!" it was a picture of us. you know what that loser told me? *lol* "don't worry, we'll make more". very true. there will always be more memories. so i'm not going to regret leaving. i'll be glad that i was here.
tonight's the first game! yay! WHO ARE WHO ARE WHO ARE WE?! T-H-E-B-A-N-D, The Band! right? right!