And counting...
We're feeling more positive. Yesterday morning the second line was twice as strong as the one the day before, and the test we did this morning showed one that was stronger again. At least we've now progressed comfortably beyond the point we reached last time. In fact we've never been close to this far before. So far, so good. Only another 250 days or so to go...
For some reason I had Monday set as my first personal deadline. If we're still testing nicely positive in the morning, I think I'll be willing to stop testing and wait for the scan in a few weeks time, or until something happens that indicates all is not well. I might also call my doctor too, as the clinic said I could do that any time so that I get 'into the system', although I won't have an antenatal appointment until I'm twelve weeks, again, assuming we get that far. They might do a blood test though, which will be interesting from my perspective as I'd like to know what my HCG levels are. They could be another indication to us that things are well, or not. They're supposed to double every 48 hours, and given that we know exactly when we conceived (January 26th) we should be able to work out whether the result is good or not once we have one.
Its a very strange feeling. We've been trying for so long. Over the years, particularly online I've built up a network of friends on similar journeys and the friendships and mutual support they've given have been invaluable in helping me to get through it all. Suddenly I feel somehow set apart. In some ways I even feel a little set apart from myself. I'm so used to this 'trying to conceive' roller-coaster. Even when we haven't been actively trying we've known we were coming back to it. I don't know how to do this next bit. I've fantasised about it for so long but the reality of course feels nothing like my fantasy world in which everything was rosy an we went from conception to birth in no time at all. If all goes well, I'm going to be pregnant for a long time. Until late October, probably. That's most of this year. I'm surprising myself by feeling surprised at that.
These are, without a doubt, extremely interesting times.
For some reason I had Monday set as my first personal deadline. If we're still testing nicely positive in the morning, I think I'll be willing to stop testing and wait for the scan in a few weeks time, or until something happens that indicates all is not well. I might also call my doctor too, as the clinic said I could do that any time so that I get 'into the system', although I won't have an antenatal appointment until I'm twelve weeks, again, assuming we get that far. They might do a blood test though, which will be interesting from my perspective as I'd like to know what my HCG levels are. They could be another indication to us that things are well, or not. They're supposed to double every 48 hours, and given that we know exactly when we conceived (January 26th) we should be able to work out whether the result is good or not once we have one.
Its a very strange feeling. We've been trying for so long. Over the years, particularly online I've built up a network of friends on similar journeys and the friendships and mutual support they've given have been invaluable in helping me to get through it all. Suddenly I feel somehow set apart. In some ways I even feel a little set apart from myself. I'm so used to this 'trying to conceive' roller-coaster. Even when we haven't been actively trying we've known we were coming back to it. I don't know how to do this next bit. I've fantasised about it for so long but the reality of course feels nothing like my fantasy world in which everything was rosy an we went from conception to birth in no time at all. If all goes well, I'm going to be pregnant for a long time. Until late October, probably. That's most of this year. I'm surprising myself by feeling surprised at that.
These are, without a doubt, extremely interesting times.