What am I suppose to do now?
So I've been like plagued by thoughts of Joel lately so I broke down and messaged him, cause despite seeing him everywhere around campus actually talking to him and having a conversation is harder than it should be.
"it didn't really mean much of anything. I was up for cuddling, and you apparently were too. I flirted, you flirted back, but when it came down to it it just didn't really go anywhere. I did tell you that it was just a random mood.
I really enjoy intimacy,
and I appreciate your having spent the night and cuddling.
perhaps we can do it again sometime."
So how exactly am I suppose to take this? There's a little bit more to this conversation but that's the gist of it. And in spite of all this I still really like him...ughhh. As much as I enjoy being 'cuddle-buddies' I really wish it could be more. I mean he was my first kiss among other things, maybe my first love but I don't know if I can really say that. I hate emotions. So. Much.
Also in other news 3oh!3 was effing amazing. And I'm not a huge fan of hip-hop but omg. So awesome!!!!!