Oh, Daddy...
My dad is hilarious. He's a total packrat, never getting rid of something unless it's 20+ years old and his daughter forces him to because Dad, you seriously look like a homeless pimp in that shirt that's too tight and worn down to sheerness and threadbare-ity. He'll keep the same pair of shoes forever, because they're a brand name and were given to him, and are therefore automatically both of excellent, unimpeachable quality and also sacred. He has Tupperware older than I am. Just last week, I found a coupon in his glove compartment that expired in 1997. There is an amp sitting ten feet away from me that has not worked in over two years, but he's never ever going to get rid of it, because he might someday find someone to fix it, despite the fact that buying one 10 times better/newer/faster would be cheaper than fixing the old one. Once you embrace the insanity of it, it's hilarity.
I picked up my veil in Toronto about a week ago. It came folded into a square, and is very creased. So, I had to straighten it somehow, and the internet claims the best way is to steam it by hanging it in the shower. That's option #1. However, unless you're irretrievably dead, you've noticed it's been rather hot of late. A hot steam-generating shower is completely out of the question. Option #2 was to use a steamer, the kind that clothing stores use to steam the wrinkles out of clothes before they put them on the hanger. Yay! One of my future sisters-in-law works at a clothing store, and she said it wouldn't be a problem...but she doesn't work until Saturday, and I need it steamed and pretty by Friday, when I go to the hairdresser for my hair + veil trial appointment with my bridesmaids, so #2 is out. I called my mom, and she said that before steamers were invented, they used to just boil some water in a kettle and hold the garment over the concentrated steam stream (see what I did there?). Awesome! An option that will work! We have a newer kettle that turns itself off as soon as it boils, but I remembered an old kettle that has never left the cupboard that doesn't turn off when it's done. No problems here!
You're probably wondering why I opened this with an account of my dad's inability to throw anything away. Can you guess?
He threw away the kettle.
The ONE TIME I was counting on his hoarding, and he goes and bails and is all normal, throwing away outdated objects! What the hell, bro? Option #3? Receding into the distance. I called my local connections, to see if they had one. Guess what? They JUST threw theirs away, too. It's like they knew this was all happening and wanted to have a laugh. At this point, I think my option is to drink some tea and breathe on the veil repeatedly or something equally useful.
Seriously, Dad, what gives? Not ten minutes later, I found a jar of sauerkraut from the Bronze Age, but the kettle? Nope. Keep the useless stuff, and get rid of the useful! I couldn't stop laughing at the irony (Alanis or otherwise).
Oh, Daddy. Don't ever change.
I picked up my veil in Toronto about a week ago. It came folded into a square, and is very creased. So, I had to straighten it somehow, and the internet claims the best way is to steam it by hanging it in the shower. That's option #1. However, unless you're irretrievably dead, you've noticed it's been rather hot of late. A hot steam-generating shower is completely out of the question. Option #2 was to use a steamer, the kind that clothing stores use to steam the wrinkles out of clothes before they put them on the hanger. Yay! One of my future sisters-in-law works at a clothing store, and she said it wouldn't be a problem...but she doesn't work until Saturday, and I need it steamed and pretty by Friday, when I go to the hairdresser for my hair + veil trial appointment with my bridesmaids, so #2 is out. I called my mom, and she said that before steamers were invented, they used to just boil some water in a kettle and hold the garment over the concentrated steam stream (see what I did there?). Awesome! An option that will work! We have a newer kettle that turns itself off as soon as it boils, but I remembered an old kettle that has never left the cupboard that doesn't turn off when it's done. No problems here!
You're probably wondering why I opened this with an account of my dad's inability to throw anything away. Can you guess?
He threw away the kettle.
The ONE TIME I was counting on his hoarding, and he goes and bails and is all normal, throwing away outdated objects! What the hell, bro? Option #3? Receding into the distance. I called my local connections, to see if they had one. Guess what? They JUST threw theirs away, too. It's like they knew this was all happening and wanted to have a laugh. At this point, I think my option is to drink some tea and breathe on the veil repeatedly or something equally useful.
Seriously, Dad, what gives? Not ten minutes later, I found a jar of sauerkraut from the Bronze Age, but the kettle? Nope. Keep the useless stuff, and get rid of the useful! I couldn't stop laughing at the irony (Alanis or otherwise).
Oh, Daddy. Don't ever change.