Im-a back at Wheaton.........-a

[nomanarmy0]

I've been back for a while now. During my time home I started feeling boring and out of place around my friends, and it was kinda sad...cause i know that the more i get into God, the more i just wont be able to joke around with them about the same stuff, and i certainly wont be able to participate in some of their activities, and i wouldnt want to, except that it might allow me to be 'closer' to them, even if it has a stupid false foundation like drinking or making dirty jokes or something else. I dont want to seem boring to them, but ultimately i think thats what will happen, as i get quieter because i have less and less to say, or because i am walking on waaaay too much eggshells that im too careful to speak...i dont know. I felt like i just wanted to crash, just a little bit, just give in to all fleshly desires just so i could feel like i belong again. But i know that would be foolish. I would do myself, and everyone else, a much greater service if i got out of a sinking ship, even if i feel pulled into it just to be with my friends. Atleast outside i can help some out of it...those who are willing to take my hand, who dont still think they're on some luxury liner headed for paradise.

I just always wanna be funny...wanna be liked. Since when is being funny a virtue? I dont know, but everyone seems to be in agreement.