(no subject)
To all of my tribe whom I've neglected these past months, I'm deeply sorry. This stage in my life seems to be a long and painful process of coming to terms with my fear and resentment of money, societal responsibility, and the game at large. This cycle is also about reaching a level of existing without lust of result and desire for instant gratification. Have I learned these lessons yet? Nope, but I've got a bit of time left to learn them. In the next two months my life will hit the blender and things will never be the same. Its a scary prospect, but not without its excitement and rewards. Here's the how:
I owe about two thousand dollars to friends and various institutions, my credit is fucked, and I can’t have plastic or checks. I desperately want to take care of this before anything else. Quintiles, the guinea pig employer is offering three thousand for people to participate is some upcoming tests and I'm going tom apply for that. I realize it's a quick-fix idea, but if it works it'll make the next stuff a lot easier. For the summer and beyond there are three or four options. On the 18th Cody and I are meeting with a coworker's relative to discuss positions with some mineral/gem stone company. It is apparently well paid with benefits, consisting of three months in Juneau or Acreage Alaska followed by three in the Virgin Islands. I still don't have many of the details, but so far it sounds promising. Failing that Cody and I are going to road trip to Seattle and try to get in on a processing job. Shitty work, but the company we found (reputable this time) does pay well and we would make twelve to fourteen grand. Failing that (or not), we've been looking at some conservation programs like the Southwest Conservation Corp. and similar jobs across the globe that pay enough and will be a great way to learn a lot of the skills I'd like to learn.
Whatever happens I need to start doing something different. Maybe it’s just because I’m painfully irresponsible, but I’m deeply dissatisfied with this wage slavery thing. I want to do something I can feel good about, something that doesn’t make me want to shoot myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Merc, but it’s on a bad road and there’s nothing satisfying about jockeying a register, even if it is for a local organics grocery.
I’m going to call everyone a lot more, I promise. I’ve just felt so paralyzed and disconnected from everyone I love far away and from my self as well.
I owe about two thousand dollars to friends and various institutions, my credit is fucked, and I can’t have plastic or checks. I desperately want to take care of this before anything else. Quintiles, the guinea pig employer is offering three thousand for people to participate is some upcoming tests and I'm going tom apply for that. I realize it's a quick-fix idea, but if it works it'll make the next stuff a lot easier. For the summer and beyond there are three or four options. On the 18th Cody and I are meeting with a coworker's relative to discuss positions with some mineral/gem stone company. It is apparently well paid with benefits, consisting of three months in Juneau or Acreage Alaska followed by three in the Virgin Islands. I still don't have many of the details, but so far it sounds promising. Failing that Cody and I are going to road trip to Seattle and try to get in on a processing job. Shitty work, but the company we found (reputable this time) does pay well and we would make twelve to fourteen grand. Failing that (or not), we've been looking at some conservation programs like the Southwest Conservation Corp. and similar jobs across the globe that pay enough and will be a great way to learn a lot of the skills I'd like to learn.
Whatever happens I need to start doing something different. Maybe it’s just because I’m painfully irresponsible, but I’m deeply dissatisfied with this wage slavery thing. I want to do something I can feel good about, something that doesn’t make me want to shoot myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Merc, but it’s on a bad road and there’s nothing satisfying about jockeying a register, even if it is for a local organics grocery.
I’m going to call everyone a lot more, I promise. I’ve just felt so paralyzed and disconnected from everyone I love far away and from my self as well.