(no subject)
The dread I feel for a couple of upcoming things is so extreme that I fear I may be becoming agoraphobic. Of people who get what agoraphobia is, some may not understand because I do certain things seemingly fearlessly.
Well, let me tell you, deep down, I am scared shitless. Or sometimes I truly am fearless, but those times are rare, and when it happens, I'll be sure to send you a postcard. As for the times I am scared and do incredibly daring things, well let me tell you, I just enjoy the adoration of teenaged boys so much, that occasionally I can rise above my fear.
Alas, I am not as teenaged as I once was, and the time has come to own up to speaking in front of people in a planned, structured environment while not intoxicated. IE not plastered at a karaoke bar. A presentation in front of Religion class has been the source of some anxiety. If I can't talk in front of class, how am I going to give my planned speech to a bunch of teenaged stiffs about how they should vandalize their neighborhood until it looks like a fun, interesting place to be young.
Yeah. I love misguided youth. And now that I am a misguided young adult, I enjoy doing some of the misguiding when I can.
A new thing that makes me feel like I am destined to be that weird guy who stays indoors and has way too many cats is the fact that I get almost as nervous lately in a specific 3 hour class.
I hate that it is 3 hours. I hate that the professor is arrogant, and I learned about Anna Nicole Smith's death in that class as the professor was navigating through MSN news.
No one else saw or reacted.
I associate that class with death now.
I am a neurotic punk ass who needs a release.
But I need to finish this semester
I can't keep backing down from this shit.
I need to own up to some shit.
Because in the end all you got is yourself and if you can't make your life worth living...no one else will.
(Not saying school is the answer to those of you who hate school. I may drop out next semester myself...just saying that I can't back out of shit I already started becasue of fear)
Well, let me tell you, deep down, I am scared shitless. Or sometimes I truly am fearless, but those times are rare, and when it happens, I'll be sure to send you a postcard. As for the times I am scared and do incredibly daring things, well let me tell you, I just enjoy the adoration of teenaged boys so much, that occasionally I can rise above my fear.
Alas, I am not as teenaged as I once was, and the time has come to own up to speaking in front of people in a planned, structured environment while not intoxicated. IE not plastered at a karaoke bar. A presentation in front of Religion class has been the source of some anxiety. If I can't talk in front of class, how am I going to give my planned speech to a bunch of teenaged stiffs about how they should vandalize their neighborhood until it looks like a fun, interesting place to be young.
Yeah. I love misguided youth. And now that I am a misguided young adult, I enjoy doing some of the misguiding when I can.
A new thing that makes me feel like I am destined to be that weird guy who stays indoors and has way too many cats is the fact that I get almost as nervous lately in a specific 3 hour class.
I hate that it is 3 hours. I hate that the professor is arrogant, and I learned about Anna Nicole Smith's death in that class as the professor was navigating through MSN news.
No one else saw or reacted.
I associate that class with death now.
I am a neurotic punk ass who needs a release.
But I need to finish this semester
I can't keep backing down from this shit.
I need to own up to some shit.
Because in the end all you got is yourself and if you can't make your life worth living...no one else will.
(Not saying school is the answer to those of you who hate school. I may drop out next semester myself...just saying that I can't back out of shit I already started becasue of fear)