(no subject)
so things w/ the family is still bad. my dad is still gone and slowly getting all his stuff from us cause he doesnt want to see my mother. i dont blame him. he is putting up one hell of a front though to act tough. telling me to treat her like my mom still and time will heal the wound. i dont fucking care about her. she should have the respect not to fucking do that. so u dont give repsect to people that dont deserve it at all. so...yea. i saw him last night. he is ok i guess. and for mom, i am not talking to her. but she thinks dad will be back. boy, she is wrong. i dont know. it still sucks...and i am still hurt...and i still cry. nothing i can do. the worst is dad is done on doing rent. and my mother...cathy...is way to irisponsible to take control of this and own it. she dont even have a job. and wont get one. god damn i am fucked! where am i going to live? i dont know....sucks....i dont know how to deal w/ this.
last night i saw dad then after went to a show/concert w/ jamie. she wants me to do a few of 'her things'. so i gave it a shot. and..i wont again. first off....my right ear is STILL ringing from that loud...NOISE. uh. then it sucks being stuck in a cramped room w/ a bunch of sweaty retards! they were 'dancing' like they were fighting a ghost...and then there were little groups that 'danced' like speds on fire. jamie's little group did a little bit of sped dance and jumping up and down in place...still seemed kinda stupid. but...i love her and tried it for her. just not my scene. i like quiet...and low amounts of people. that is her scene...loud and cramped. that is fine.
the next week is going to be one hell of a week. i have to deal w/ the family stuff. i have monday off. or atleast i should. i took it off to take my bro to court in midland but since he is in jail now...i guess i dont have to. so i will hopfully go see jamie and let her help me out. she has been so great w/ helping me deal w/ the family problems that i have had. and i know it isnt over yet. so if she is reading...thanks for helping me deal w/ my life problems. i will need a lot more. i should see my grandma monday too for lunch to talk to her. a lot to talk to her about. anyways, i should get going to work. i dont know how i am going to get through today w/out people knowing...or w/out crying or whatever.
last night i saw dad then after went to a show/concert w/ jamie. she wants me to do a few of 'her things'. so i gave it a shot. and..i wont again. first off....my right ear is STILL ringing from that loud...NOISE. uh. then it sucks being stuck in a cramped room w/ a bunch of sweaty retards! they were 'dancing' like they were fighting a ghost...and then there were little groups that 'danced' like speds on fire. jamie's little group did a little bit of sped dance and jumping up and down in place...still seemed kinda stupid. but...i love her and tried it for her. just not my scene. i like quiet...and low amounts of people. that is her scene...loud and cramped. that is fine.
the next week is going to be one hell of a week. i have to deal w/ the family stuff. i have monday off. or atleast i should. i took it off to take my bro to court in midland but since he is in jail now...i guess i dont have to. so i will hopfully go see jamie and let her help me out. she has been so great w/ helping me deal w/ the family problems that i have had. and i know it isnt over yet. so if she is reading...thanks for helping me deal w/ my life problems. i will need a lot more. i should see my grandma monday too for lunch to talk to her. a lot to talk to her about. anyways, i should get going to work. i dont know how i am going to get through today w/out people knowing...or w/out crying or whatever.