Caught between hot and cold
How long was it since I was last here with a proper post?
*pause*
A very long time, since I set the moratorium against whining about RL on my LJ. Then I realised what I used my LJ for. Sigh.
I am back at the state where I think the Internet is my best friend and I should really eschew my real life for virtual reality. It has been a tiring few months - first the sheer ennui with my last job and the exhaustion from being caught in a political minefield, then coming into my current job and realising that it is fast turning into what my last job was, and discovering that it is worse when you actually love your job; on the heels of that, getting extremely tired with being the punching bag, the convenient scratching post and just about the convenient anything to just about anyone in my personal life. Save for my very wonderful family, who had to put up with me, I wish I could say I have had enough with friends calling me up, talking to me only when it is convenient for them, or when they need something from me - expecting that I would be there. I wish I could say I am done with friends throwing their tantrums at me or just plain ignoring me with a speak-to-the-hand and still imagine me to be unaffected. I wish I have my temper back and I wish I can just LOSE it instead of being rational about it and talking myself into taking things calmly when I obviously have not forgiven or forgotten.
I want to say, I am done being a 'WELCOME' doormat
*pause*
A very long time, since I set the moratorium against whining about RL on my LJ. Then I realised what I used my LJ for. Sigh.
I am back at the state where I think the Internet is my best friend and I should really eschew my real life for virtual reality. It has been a tiring few months - first the sheer ennui with my last job and the exhaustion from being caught in a political minefield, then coming into my current job and realising that it is fast turning into what my last job was, and discovering that it is worse when you actually love your job; on the heels of that, getting extremely tired with being the punching bag, the convenient scratching post and just about the convenient anything to just about anyone in my personal life. Save for my very wonderful family, who had to put up with me, I wish I could say I have had enough with friends calling me up, talking to me only when it is convenient for them, or when they need something from me - expecting that I would be there. I wish I could say I am done with friends throwing their tantrums at me or just plain ignoring me with a speak-to-the-hand and still imagine me to be unaffected. I wish I have my temper back and I wish I can just LOSE it instead of being rational about it and talking myself into taking things calmly when I obviously have not forgiven or forgotten.
I want to say, I am done being a 'WELCOME' doormat