(no subject)
how can you be so happy and depressed at once...
never am I so happy as I am when i hold the little one... my heart just swells and i think you can see it on my face...
yeah I think I'm an ok mom.. could be much better, especially if I worked less... but hey
as a stand alone person god do i suck. it really doesn't help when I surf around myspace and see all the friends i had or all the people friends of mine have listed (when I say friends of mine, i mean relatives or friends of friends) I'm a wonderfully lazy no-so-unique peon that just drifts about in life that is always the forgettable one... i remember people i meet... they never remember me. i'm terribly boring. Take away the topic of work and i have just about nothing to say. Take away the topic of kids too and i really have nothing to say.
Rambling, i'm pretty good at that. I can ramble for a while.
I miss nola... it won't ever be the same though... some real assholes had to make sure of that one for me. Some would say good riddance especially since the last person who is part of all that is leaving work... but I manage to get all depressed about it. I suppose even if she screwed me over she was a psudo friend... I don't know man. I know people around me care... but i feel so alone... I know hubby loves me and family loves me but still alone...
if my family were out of town including my hubby, and I got a flat tire or something... there really isn't anyone I could call... and thats sad. Not even an aquaintance. my boss maybe but he doesn't count at all. I don't like this adult thing. At least when you were still growing up and your friends fucked you over you could say ' oh god we're only x yrs old they didn't mean any harm' but now adays... everyone is fully aware of what they're doing, who it hurts and how it benefits them. Why can't there be people who are just nice and friends because well.. they're nice people and want to be friends.
It doesn't help the situation that I'm growing terribly intolerant of a lot of things. Stupidity... feining stupidity as an excuse for behavior that you know is not acceptatble, loud people, liars, people who use you ehhh... let's just say i'm growing intolerant of people... I think that will cover it. Yes I'm ranting and rambling but for once i don't care. I'm alone here so you know what.. you have to read all of this shit... doesn't matter really because no one reads this shit anyway. now all I need is for my pc to crash before I save this bad boy...
lil' one has a good idea... i think a nap may be in order...
sweet dreams......
never am I so happy as I am when i hold the little one... my heart just swells and i think you can see it on my face...
yeah I think I'm an ok mom.. could be much better, especially if I worked less... but hey
as a stand alone person god do i suck. it really doesn't help when I surf around myspace and see all the friends i had or all the people friends of mine have listed (when I say friends of mine, i mean relatives or friends of friends) I'm a wonderfully lazy no-so-unique peon that just drifts about in life that is always the forgettable one... i remember people i meet... they never remember me. i'm terribly boring. Take away the topic of work and i have just about nothing to say. Take away the topic of kids too and i really have nothing to say.
Rambling, i'm pretty good at that. I can ramble for a while.
I miss nola... it won't ever be the same though... some real assholes had to make sure of that one for me. Some would say good riddance especially since the last person who is part of all that is leaving work... but I manage to get all depressed about it. I suppose even if she screwed me over she was a psudo friend... I don't know man. I know people around me care... but i feel so alone... I know hubby loves me and family loves me but still alone...
if my family were out of town including my hubby, and I got a flat tire or something... there really isn't anyone I could call... and thats sad. Not even an aquaintance. my boss maybe but he doesn't count at all. I don't like this adult thing. At least when you were still growing up and your friends fucked you over you could say ' oh god we're only x yrs old they didn't mean any harm' but now adays... everyone is fully aware of what they're doing, who it hurts and how it benefits them. Why can't there be people who are just nice and friends because well.. they're nice people and want to be friends.
It doesn't help the situation that I'm growing terribly intolerant of a lot of things. Stupidity... feining stupidity as an excuse for behavior that you know is not acceptatble, loud people, liars, people who use you ehhh... let's just say i'm growing intolerant of people... I think that will cover it. Yes I'm ranting and rambling but for once i don't care. I'm alone here so you know what.. you have to read all of this shit... doesn't matter really because no one reads this shit anyway. now all I need is for my pc to crash before I save this bad boy...
lil' one has a good idea... i think a nap may be in order...
sweet dreams......