Used and Abused 7/??, AoiUruha NC-17

[nokutetsu]

Title: Used and Abused
Author: nokutetsu
Beta: kouchou_kyoushu
Chapter: 7/??
Band: ガゼット
Pairings: 葵 x 麗 (Aoi x Uruha), ルキ x れいた (Ruki x Reita)
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Humour, Angst, Romance, AU/AR
Warnings: Swearing, sexual sitations, self harm, homosexual relationships
Disclaimer: The people are stolen, the outfits are borrowed, the band is copyright PS company......but the fic is mine I swear! D:
Summary: Aoi and Reita have an unofficial unsigned contract. If Aoi can sleep with Uruha, the school’s biggest loser, in two months, he get’s Reita’s car. And Aoi really likes Reita’s car.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6

When Uruha opens his eyes, he knows it’s going to be daunting day. He doesn’t move to switch off his alarm, instead letting it ring out into the bedroom, too scared to turn it off. He pulls the covers over his head, wishing he could go back to sleep and skip morning and afternoon classes.

Eventually, the alarm starts to ring again, forcing the guitarist to shut it off and move out of his comfort zone. It’s only 6 am, or ‘way too fucking early’ as Aoi would put it, but Uruha knows he can’t risk messing it up, his one chance to have Aoi see him like he does Reita and Ruki.

He opens his cupboard doors, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and fishing around for something decent. He knew Aoi had approved with what he’d worn to the club that night, so he looks around and pulls out something similar before padding across the room to nervously plug in his hair straightener.

Truth be told, he hadn’t ever really used them before, not without burning his fingers and ears at least. Aoi had taken all of 3 minutes to do his hair, and Uruha’s brow furrowed as he tried to remember how he did it without accident while pulling out his eyeliner.

How does Aoi do this every morning?

It seemed amazing that all the popular kids -guys and girls- would bother with this, but it was just another thing he had to suck up and attempt. It wasn’t so much fitting in he was worried about, it was just…Aoi. Said guitarist had told him he didn’t care, so why am I even bothering with this? The embarrassment of taking his mother’s makeup surely wasn’t worth it, and making her promise to put it on for him absolutely wasn’t worth it.

But she had looked so happy, so proud when he had asked, hugging him until his frail body felt it would snap. She was probably still asleep, giving Uruha time to shower and dress before she was prepared to help him get ready.

He pulls his oversized shirt over his head, letting it drop to the linoleum of the adjoined bathroom floor. He shivers at the person staring back at him in the mirror, looking so weak and deprived. His wrists make his eyes water, his stomach knotting and he abruptly closes the image off before it get’s to him, entering the shower stall and slamming the door closed angrily. Aoi had every right to get angry, he was angry at himself for letting himself get so low so easily.

He only notices he’s shaking when he reaches up to turn the water on, flinching at the cold spray. It heats up almost instantly, soothing his chilled shin and massaging his tense shoulders. He grips the soap in his hand, scrubbing his wrist’s furiously as if it would rid him of the still healing cuts. It’s almost soothing when it causes the skin to open, creating a perfect illusion of washed away problems when the red disappears down the drain. He lets his eyes drift shut, back resting against the tiles as he washed his hair, feeling slightly better about himself and less dirty.

“Kouyou?” His mother’s muffled voice is filtered by the door, and Uruha turns the water off to hear her. “I’ll make breakfast, okay honey? Then I’ll come and do your makeup. I’ll help you with your hair too, if you need a hand.”

Uruha sighs, stepping out and securing a towel around his slim waist. “Okay mum!”

He could hear his bedroom door close, and the sound of feet moving down stairs as his mother left to go about her daily business of making breakfast. He was surprised how relaxed she was about her son wearing makeup. Maybe Aoi was right, maybe he wouldn’t be called a fag after all.

He feels better when he leaves the bathroom and changes into his picked clothing. It clings to him tightly compared to his old clothes, feeling so alien he wonders how Aoi copes with it.  It’s like a second skin, leaving him feeling exposed when he eyes himself in the mirror.

Maybe, for once, I’ll eat breakfast.

He shuffles hurriedly out of his room, towel still around his head as he enters the kitchen. The place smells of bacon and eggs, and Uruha’s mother looks more than happy to see him grabbing himself a plate. “What’s with you today Kou? You’re so… productive?”

“Today’s special.” He mumbles, sitting himself down at the table and reaching for the orange juice.

His mother smiles, sitting herself down with a similar plate and watching her son -for once- eat himself through a full plate of breakfast. “That’s nice dear. Are you trying to impress someone?”
Uruha frowns, slowly swallowing a mouthful of eggs and eyeing his mother oddly. “What makes you say that?” Was he trying too hard? Was it really that obvious?

“You seem nervous. Are you sure you’re ready for this?” She looks genuinely concerned, and Uruha feels almost bad for making her worry, if only a little.

“No mom… It’s just a big moment for me. Aoi will help me though.” He offers her a small smile, willing her to relax and finish her breakfast. He doesn’t want her worrying about something like this, especially when it was his own fault he became so reclusive in the first place.

“Yuu is such a nice boy.” She finishes her small amount, clearly not having expected Uruha to actually eat something. She patiently waits for Uruha to finish his portion, before taking the two plates and leaving them on the side for the cleaner to see to. “Well,” She claps her hands together, smiling and gently pulling the towel from Uruha’s hair. “Let’s see to you then, before I head off to work.”

Uruha nods, following his mother up the stairs. It doesn’t feel like only 7am, and he can just imagine Aoi still sleeping, alarm clock lost somewhere under the bed, or at least, that’s the kind of person Aoi seemed to come across as.

“It’s good to see you’re finally getting out there. Is it Yuu’s influence?” His mother strikes up light conversation while gliding the plates through Uruha’s hair, pinning it up to straighten the layers underneath.

“He makes me want to try harder,” He confesses, feeling the heat rush to his cheeks in embarrassment. His mother knew he liked men, something she was fine with. He truly felt blessed to have such an understanding and caring mother, and without her he doubted he could have gotten through those hard times at school.

“That’s nice then isn’t it? Especially if Ruki won’t harm you anymore.”

“Mmm...” He makes a face, the eyeliner making his eyes water and twitch. It made him blink furiously, resisting the urge to rub his eyes and complain. It was such a ticklish feeling, he could hear his mother laughing lightly as she pulled his hand’s away, the ones hovering so dangerously close to his eyes.

“Don’t ruin it Kouyou.” She fussed, swatting his other hand away. “Just blink. It’ll be alright soon enough.”

He let her apply what she needed too, fighting the insistent urge to twitch under her experienced fingers on his face and hair. “If today works out, I’ll really need to learn this myself….”

The woman scoffed, stepping back and placing her hands on Uruha’s shoulder. “Don’t be Silly Kouyou. Everything will be fine. I’m sure Yuu will be there to help you, right?”

“I hope so.” A shuddering breath, and he’s smiling weakly as his mother kisses his hair, patting him on the shoulder before making her way to work. He’s all alone again, with only half an hour until school, and he bites his lip at the thought of heading to school so….exposed. He knows only Aoi, Ruki and Reita know his face but he couldn’t shake the feeling of nausea settling in the pit of his stomach.

He almost changes his mind at the bottom of the stairs, when he’s pulling his shoes and schoolbag on- until he reminds himself it’s now or never. He knows he can’t keep doing this, this paranoia, and when the wind hits his face he hopes he’s doing the right thing.

He locks the door behind him with shaky hands, painted nails gripping the door handle as if wanting to run back inside. As people walk past, they ignore him, not sparing him a second glance like his mind tells him they are, and it eases his pain a little, until he’s finally able to let go of the door handle and walk himself down the walkway.

That night, Aoi had been with him. He’d driven him, and it had been dark. But now, walking to school with other school-goers passing by, he feels his hands start to shake again in his pockets. It’s an excited kind of nervousness now, especially when a cute girl passes him, smiling shyly and hiding behind her fringe. It gives him strength, even at the school gates, when people are lazily slugging themselves into school, he feels his nervousness manageable.

He doesn’t even stop by his locker once he’s inside. Because he’s not doing this for them, he doesn’t care if they see him or not. He just wants Aoi to notice, to see he isn’t as weak minded as he thought, to be impressed.

Outside, his heart is racing. Classroom B-16. He can hear the voices inside, chatting about their weekends and unimportant things, and he feels the anticipation build as the teacher tells everyone to quieten down. The silence plays on his nerves, and with a deep breath, he closes his eyes and opens the door.

It’s nothing unusual for him to turn up late- often he would deliberately be late to avoid the students, preferring to seat himself when there is a teacher around to keep an eye on them. Most of the time they don’t even notice his existence, and continue on with their work as if he hadn’t existed.

So when the whole classroom goes quiet, except for a few gasps, he feels the lump rise instantly in his throat. Even the teacher goes silent, eyeing him beyond her glasses with eyebrows raised high inter her hairline. Because Uruha knows he looks good today, only extremely exposed without his hood, and it’s this bit of self confidence that lets him keep his head high, avoiding all eye contact as he takes his seat and the whispers break out.

His eyes sting, caught up with his heartbeat as he feels Ruki and Reita’s open stares,  burning holes into his head and he pulls his books open, anything to avoid the many pairs of eyes attempting eye contact. He knows his hands are shaking again, he can’t even bring himself to look at Aoi, the one he so badly wants to see him.

“Um… anyway.” The teacher clears her throat, obviously feeling the awkward atmosphere circulating in the room. “We’re just revising now, so it’ll all be different pages depending on where you left off last week.”

Ruki’s eyes are still on him, hard and steady, and Uruha thinks he’s going to cry. Please stop staring Ruki, please stop staring. He closes his eyes, nose buried under the cover of his English book, and breathes through his nose. He wants to glare at Ruki, to stand his ground, and it takes a good 15 minutes before he wills himself to put the book down and narrow his eyes at the shorter figure.

It doesn’t seem to have the desired effect, because Ruki couldn’t look more amused if he tried. His grin widens at Uruha’s attempted glare (no doubt a poor one judging by the reaction), giving him a wink before turning his attention back to Kai.

His cheeks burn, showing whoever might be looking his embarrassment, and he runs a sweaty hand through his hair agitated. It’s the most daring thing he’s done in all his life, and he eyes the clock desperately. There was 20 minutes left, 20 minutes until he had a free period, a period he was positive Aoi would skip if he asked him too.

Aoi’s seat is a couple of rows behind him, his face hidden from Uruha’s line of sight. It’s something the blonde is slightly thankful for, so can get his bearings before facing the brunette after class. He hadn’t told Aoi of his plans, of his ideas to show himself for who he was. Even the teacher was sparing a glace at him now and again, he could feel it, every stare felt like fire on his exposed skin, making him groan quietly and bury his face behind his textbook once more. Please stop staring.

He knew this was coming, it was his own fault. But it feels so much better when the bell rings after seemingly forever, all the other students staring at him with obvious stares.

“Fuck yeah. I kissed those lips bitches. On Thursday night.” He could hear Ruki smugly sneering at the girls who were shyly staring as they left. It wasn’t a memory he wanted to be reminded of, and it made him feel even more nervous about himself as Ruki winked again before leaving, and Reita’s intimidating glare made him feel worse.

He thought Aoi had left for a moment, before he feels a hand on his shoulder. He flinches, his jumpy body reacting instantly under the slight touch. “Aoi,” He breaths, gripping the others sleeves as he comes into view. Aoi’s brows are knitted, as if surprised by Uruha’s sudden appearance and trying to make sense of it all.

“I finally did it,” He let out a shaky breath, ignoring the teacher who left, the classroom empty and useless this period. Uruha feels the pride run through him, until he can’t help the wide smile. “I’m not so scared of what people think anymore.”

Relief floods Aoi’s features, and he grins boyishly and ruffles Uruha’s styled hair, obviously happy for his friend. “Shit Uruha, I nearly had a fucking heart attack when you walked in.” He pushed a hand through his hair, flashing Uruha another charming grin. “Shit man, what a Monday morning eh?”

Uruha felt a small, nervous giggle leave his lips, sincerely happy Aoi wasn’t angry with him. He couldn’t imagine any reason why Aoi would be, another thing his mind had tricked him into believing. “I don’t want to speak to Ruki.” He hoped Aoi would understand, and the nod only confirmed it, easing the weight on Uruha’s shoulder’s a little. “Reita looked so scary when he left.”

“He’s moody. It’s not you.” Aoi chuckled, resting a reassuring hand on the blonde’s shoulder. “He won’t tell Ruki he likes him. He won’t. But Ruki’s good at finding things out, Reita knows that, and the idea of Ruki finding out is making him PMS like a bitch.”

It was believable. Reita came across as so heterosexual and well off that he couldn’t imagine his family being happy like Aoi had said earlier. “As long as he doesn’t go for me….”

“He won’t. Seriously. Who could punch that face?” Aoi seems almost as giddy as Uruha, the progress probably making him feel relieved somewhat that Uruha wasn’t hating himself again. “And you know you’re hot. Don’t deny it.”

Aoi grins when Uruha blushes crimson, mumbling something that didn’t make any sense in an attempt to be modest.

He can feel his heart fleeting for Uruha, he really can, but in his mind Aoi can’t hide the selfish feeling that Uruha wasn’t his ‘sexy little secret’ anymore. Everyone knew, and no doubt when the initial shock was gone, everyone would be all over him. And Uruha seemed like such an honest person, if he did actually find himself a relationship, he didn’t come across as someone who would cheat. That could be a problem on Aoi’s part.

“Be careful with who you talk to. I’ll help you out.” Aoi hums, trying not to sound controlling. Uruha’s a good kid, but he’s also a key to a good car, and Aoi wonders if he can really balance both out.

I can’t dwell on this crap just now. Not when the kid’s right here.

“Eh, you’re free right?” He wonders aloud instead, pushing himself up and stretching his back.

Uruha seems slightly thrown off by the sudden question, watching the brunette with a confused look. “Um… yeah?”

“Let’s go to my place!” Aoi throws at him, catching the blonde completely off guard. Uruha stares, and he suddenly realizes he’s never been to Aoi’s house before. He can’t help the curiosity, something he hadn’t even thought about until Aoi mentioned it.

“Okay.” He smiles at the random invitation, quickly shoving his books in his bag and rising to meet Aoi by the door. It’s only 8:45am, but already Uruha knows it’s going to be a good day. Aoi seems happy enough, his usual rebelliously boyish self as if the club incident had never happened.

Uruha was surprised how close Aoi’s place was to the school. It was only a block away, a small, cramped house, and Uruha couldn’t help but feel bad for him. His family was obviously no where near as rich as Uruha’s own, but Aoi didn’t even seem to notice. That, or he didn’t acknowledge it was he opened the door for Uruha to enter, kicking his shoes off and absently offering Uruha something to drink.

“It’s okay.” He was checking his surroundings curiously, taking everything in as Aoi led him up stairs, and Uruha almost gaped when a ladder was at the end of the hallway.

“Up you go Blondie,” Aoi gave his ass a slap, signaling that Uruha actually had to climb it to get to his bedroom. He couldn’t believe Aoi took girls home like this, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t more than interested.  The ladder made him nervous as he climbed, but Aoi’s reassuring presence behind him made him feel better, pulling himself up through the hole and into what was obviously a converted attic.

He pulled himself into standing, trying not to feel nervous as the floor creaked under his feet. Aoi was beside him in an instant, but Uruha was too busy observing Aoi’s bedroom with doe like eyes, ignoring the laugh from behind him. “Pretty cheap, huh? But it’s home sweet home I guess.”

It wasn’t a big room, but it wasn’t small either. It couldn’t match Uruha’s sizeable bedroom, but there was something about it, something much more comfortable and the blonde couldn’t help but feel straight at home. It was a complete organized mess, akin to a mechanics tool box, where only the mechanic knew where everything was. The walls were covered in posters of various bands, to the point Uruha couldn’t tell what colour the walls were underneath, complimented to the various CD’s thrown about near his guitar stands.  He sat himself down on the bed, ignoring Aoi’s amused expression as he awed at how comfortable it was. Obviously much cheaper than his own, but more than well broken into. The whole room….it was so Aoi it made Uruha’s heart ache, from the smell of Bvlgari and Aoi’s original scent, right down to the…

“Oh my god Aoi! What happened?!” Uruha jumped, almost having a fit at the white outline on the floor. It was the shape of a human body, the kind only found at murder investigations and crime scenes on TV. He could her Aoi’s laughter, such a sweet sound, obviously finding his distress hilarious, and it was only then Uruha realized it was fake.

“Very funny,” He mumbled, hiding his face in his collar. Who the hell has a white human outline on their bedroom floor?! It was so… ludicrous, so Aoi, Uruha couldn’t quite be surprised, not really. He felt more at home than he did in his own house and he eyed the room softly, getting over the initial shock. “I think it’s perfect.”

“Eh, sorry it’s a cheap mess compared to your place.” He looks kind of sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck without much to say, and Uruha smiles, letting himself sink into the mattress. “I love it Aoi.” His scent was everywhere, flooding his senses, and it brought a strange feeling of safety and calm with it. “I’m sorry,” He mumbles, closing his eyes at the softness, his elbow brushing Aoi’s leg. “I want us to be friends. I don’t care about Ruki anymore, I just want you, even if you don’t care about me that way.” He feels Aoi shift, a deep sigh sounding from just above him. “Half of it’s my fault I guess. I’m a dick. But that’s why you love me?” His voice sounded so innocent for once, Uruha couldn’t help but snort. “I know.” He agreed, and Uruha could feel finger’s threading through a lock of his hair.

You’re so innocent Uruha. Like a little kid. You wouldn’t by lying on this bed if you knew half of what went on in it.

“We have to go back to school soon you know,” Aoi chuckles, finding mild amusement in Uruha’s expression. He had the perfect relaxed, sated look that just screams ‘I just had an amazing orgasm’. “My bedroom isn’t that amazing Uruha. It’s nothing compared to your palace, so I don’t know what you’re looking so pleased about.”

“Can I come here after school?” He asks, giving Aoi a pleading look. The brunette looks slightly surprised, but snorts a laugh none the less. “Sure. But come on. I actually need to be at my next class or else I’ll get suspended for skipping again.”

“Oh… Okay.” Uruha eyed the bed sadly, obviously not wanting to part with his new found love. It was something Aoi couldn’t help but sneer at secretly, wondering: will Uruha be used on that bed? He had 5 weeks left to end this; he had no idea what he was panicking about.

“5 weeks until what?” Uruha gives him a questioning look, obviously having no idea what he was thinking out loud about.

“Oh? Nah, just thinking to myself Blondie.” He gave the blonde a reassuring grin, hushing him down the ladder and back out into the main hallway.

5 weeks and 2 days.

The art class is mostly quiet, most of the students on the Chinese exchange trip being held at the moment, giving Ruki and Reita privacy for the most part. The only other person would come and go, mainly for supplies and clean brushes.

Reita watches Ruki’s hands move, smaller than his own but much more skilled, paints brushing against canvas as if he could do it in his sleep. It was just another alluring thing about the small vocalist, his ability to pour himself into his art.

He eyes the painting, seeing a beautiful woman, her back flawed by scars as she kills herself with a scalpel. It’s only something Ruki would be able to capture, the right expression, the right angle, and Reita has to tear his eyes away to stop himself openly staring.

“Y’know,” Ruki hums, reaching across for some more red. “I’m still here Reita, and I’m still waiting for you. I’m still waiting for you to tell me what’s wrong.” His newly dyed brown and blonde hair fluttered slightly through the open window. He always changed his hair, to the point where Reita was surprised it hadn’t fallen out. Irritably, he pushes it behind his ear and resumed his painting.

Reita’s eyes follow the movement, before he scowls and folds his muscled arms. He gives the bi-coloured vocalist a non committal grunt, to which the other nodded.

“Aoi took Uruha to his place.” He started, gaining the bassist’s attention. Truth be told, the blonde was glad Uruha wasn’t around for Ruki to amuse himself with. He doesn’t like the look in Ruki’s eyes when he stares at him, something he couldn’t explain. He didn’t care if Ruki was with a clingy blonde bimbo, but the quiet emo kid just made his blood boil in jealousy. Because if Uruha and Ruki by some freak of nature did end up together, Uruha would always be there, too timid to leave a relationship he wasn't happy with, or at least that's how he came across as. He has the kind of innocence Ruki would never tire of, the kind of amusement in a relationship and Reita could never feed Ruki’s sadistic side.

He decides to attempt his luck at grabbing Ruki’s attention, and getting him off his case. Ruki wasn’t stupid when it came to human emotions. He knew straight away fucking with Uruha at the club would rile Aoi up. He didn’t want him reading into his problems too much, lest he find out his true feelings towards him.

“I think I’m bi,” he sighs. He rested his head on the window and cursed himself for sounding so stupid. It wasn’t a complete lie, but it was about to make his cheeks flush, hidden behind his noseband.

He hears Ruki curse, and he turns away from the window to find the vocalist almost dropped his brush. He catches is in time (although getting paint all over his hands) and looks at Reita with a surprised look. “What? Since fucking when?  When’d you figure that one out?”

The blonde cringed, trying to figure out how to answer without giving too much away. He shrugged, turning to face the window again. “I don’t know. It just happened. Fuck, my family is going to seriously go nuts.”

He hears a snort, a chuckle… and then full on laughing, and he snaps his head around to glare at the singer. “How the hell is this funny?” Ruki knew his parents’ snobbish attitudes; he was surprised the younger would laugh at something like this.

“Because it’s so… minor!” He runs his hands under the sink, washing the paint off them with another snort of laughter.

“What?” Reita hisses, clearly annoyed.

“Oh god Reita, what the hell? I thought you had like, prostate cancer or some shit like that.” The shorter man looks so relived, if slightly excited. Reita sighs.

“Ruki. I’ll get thrown out.” He grits out, failing to see the funny side in it all.

“Live with me! I’ve wanted to see you wipe that snobbish grin off your mother’s face for fucking years man.” Ruki’s voice is a low octave, sending shivers down the blonde’s spine. “We’ll have great fun. As long as you don’t mind sharing my bedroom. I promise I won’t be loud when I’m busy.”

“Fuck you man,” Reita snorts, but feels himself relieved Ruki took the answer as bait. It’s a weight lifted off his shoulders, his main secret safe for another day. “As if I’d live with you and your midget family.”

“Eh, there’s nothing wrong with my family.” The shorter punched him lightly, giving him a ‘stern’ look. “My mother’s quite tall, actually.”

“Whatever you say.”

AN: I, have just spent over 2 and a half HOURS fixing the damn HTML. Wtf, srsly. It was all wonky, and I had to go through the HTML myself and after every sentence take ou those wierd tag things that were ruining it. It's fixed now though. Enjoy it, and let me know what you think ;P