Used and Abused 6/??, AoiUruha NC-17
Title: Used and Abused
Author:
nokutetsu
Beta:
kouchou_kyoushu
Chapter: 6/??
Band: Gazette
Pairing: AoixUruha
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Humour, Angst, Romance, AU/AR, sexual situations, homosexual relationships
Warnings: Swearing, sexual sitations
Disclaimer: If I owned The GazettE I'd be having $10 bills for dinner. But I don't, and instead I have to settle for take out.
Summary: Aoi and Reita have an unofficial unsigned contract. If Aoi can sleep with Uruha, the school’s biggest loser, in two months, he get’s Reita’s car. And Aoi really likes Reita’s car.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Reita scoffs, turning over in bed for seemingly the hundredth time that evening. He knows he’s being immature and unreasonable, but the image of that emo twat and Ruki kissing, even if only for a moment was enough to make his blood boil in jealously.
He hears Ruki’s feet padding softly against the carpet, his light weight making his footsteps seem almost timid. A moment later he feels the end of the bed dip under his weight, and he turns his head to see Ruki’s stiff figure sitting on the mattress at his feet.
“What?” He asks, his voice coming out ruder than he intended and he see’s Ruki almost flinch. It was odd seeing Ruki act this timid after his earlier actions at the club, and it was a side he only ever saw when it was just the two of them. But Ruki just looks tired and fed up, eyeing the bassist with a concerned look. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Forget it.” He sighs, burying his head in the pillow once more. He hears Ruki huff in impatience, folding his legs underneath him and making himself comfortable. “Reita… when did we become so fucked up? We used to be so cool with each other. You’ve changed; you’re so far away from the rest of us.”
The bassist feels his brow twitch in irritation, scowling and sitting up straight. Obviously Ruki wasn’t going to drop this and let him sleep.
“You want to know what’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s fucking wrong. You kissing that emo cunt. He doesn’t deserve you Ruki, so why the fuck are you kissing him when you know that’s Aoi business?” He narrows his eyes, watching Ruki calmly straighten out the black pants he sleeps in. He seems rather calm about the whole affair, regarding Reita with a flat look. “This again? Why do you care so much?”
“Because I do, and I shouldn’t but fuck man, this isn’t funny anymore. It’s like you’re doing it on purpose.” Reita rubs his temples, eyes raising the ceiling as the stress builds up. He wants so much to tell Ruki why he’s overreacting the way he is, but it’s probably for the best that the vocalist doesn’t know. In fact, it probably wasn’t a good idea staying with Ruki at all tonight, and he rises fully intending to leave, before he finds himself roughly shoved down with surprising force by a pair of smaller hands.
“Reita, what the fuck are you talking about?” Ruki’s voice is low and angry now, his patience wearing thin with the elder. He holds him down, refusing to move his hands from the bassist’s shoulders. “I’m not letting you leave until we get this sorted out. I swear it Reita, I’m not moving until you fucking tell me what’s wrong with you.”
And Reita has no idea what to say to him. He just stares dumbly at those serious brown eyes, shaded in the darkness of Ruki's bedroom. He can't tell him, especially when he's still having a hard time admitting it to himself. So he sighs, going lax under Ruki's hands despite the burning sensation they seem to have on his skin.
“I don’t want you to hate me.” He settles for instead, wishing Ruki would just drop it already. "I'll tell you when I'm ready."
He feels tired and drained now, letting himself be lowered back down onto the mattress. Ruki was taking a lot out of him so late at night, he didn’t dare look at the clock. “I don’t know… I’ve been so fucked up for weeks.”
He closes his eyes, feeling Ruki’s fingers relinquish their grip on his bare shoulders. His voice is soft, but Reita still hears it loud and clear.
“We’re friends, man… don’t worry about me.” Ruki exhales, watching the other with what could have been a hurt expression. “I know I might be a bit of a jerk, but I’ll always listen to you. If I didn’t I’d probably be living out on the streets….or something.”
This was the reason why Reita had fallen for his blonde friend. The side only he ever saw, the gentle and slightly timid side to the usually rebellious singer.
“It’s not you, Ruki.” He snorts, trying to come off as casual. “I’ll tell you when I can get it sorted out in my head. But at the moment, I can’t even make sense of it myself. I will tell you, I swear. I just… give me time, ‘kay?”
Ruki doesn’t look convinced, but he lets the bassist lay his head back down in an attempt to sleep anyway.
I feel terrible. Aoi…..
It’s been a whole day since the incident at the club, and no matter how many times he calls, Aoi still won’t pick up his phone. The panic settles in after the fifth call, and he finds himself checking his phone every 5 minutes, anything to indicate Aoi wasn’t angry anymore.
He jumps when his phone starts vibrating, hand moving to grab it so quickly he’s surprised he didn’t break it. But when he pulls it out it’s a number he doesn’t recognize, not Aoi’s. He sighs in disappointment, ignoring his mothers questioning look and opens up the message anyway.
Hey, ‘Blondie’, It’s Ruki.
He frowns, eyes scanning the screen to make sure his eyes weren’t fooling him. He was no idea how Ruki got his phone number, but decides to read it anyway, deciding it wouldn’t do any harm, if only to reply asking how he got his number.
He walks to his room, brows furrowed in confusion as he reads the message. It doesn’t make much sense at first: Ruki’s ‘text language’ was pretty hard to understand even for him.
He closes his bedroom door, settling himself on the end of his bed before flicking through the rest of the message, and by the end of it he feels sick, his throat becoming dry at the finishing sentence.
‘You do know Aoi’s taking the piss right? All he does is tell us what a freak you are, I don’t know why the fuck you’re putting up with that. I know it's you Uruha. I always did, even at the club. Aoi's told me everything you know. It was even him who told me to beat you up that lunch time. Still feel like he's your best friend?
Aoi…..how could you….?
“Kouyou dear! You’re friend is here to see you-” He can hear is mom shouting from up the stairs, and it’s only when his door opens to reveal a familiar head of dark hair that he feels himself grow irritated. He wants to cry, yell- anything to let Aoi know how close he was to crying at that moment, but finds he can’t get the words out.
“What the fuck are those?!”
Uruha catches his breath, eyeing the elder confusedly, irritated that Aoi was the one angry. But his mind goes blank when he follows his gaze, landing on his abused arms and wrists, and he gasps and quickly pulls his sleeves down over the angry lines.
“Uruha, what the fuck are those?”
Uruha whimpers, gasping for breath when the wind is knocked out of him and Aoi pushes him against the wall next to his bed with bruising force. He can’t remember why he was angry at Aoi, or what Ruki said in the text message, it all seems trivial now anyway.
“Uruha,” He can vaguely hear Aoi’s voice, low and threatening next to him. “Tell me.”
It all comes back then to him then, his breath, the text message, Ruki beating him up by Aoi‘s request, and he feels his blood boil at the sheer thought that Aoi was pushing and messing him around like this, when he didn’t even ask for any of it in the first place.
“Oh, these?” He feels his voice tremble slightly, and he chides himself for being so weak. “I’m just being the emo twat you always thought I was.”
Aoi looks shocked and confused at first, but it all seems to stop when Uruha strikes him- slapping him so hard his hand stung, and an angry red mark was left on Aoi’s cheek. He feels himself crying then, the emotion becoming too much and he sobs loudly, attempting to push Aoi away with shaky hands.
“Is this all just a fucking game to you? A good laugh-”
SMACK.
“You fucking asshole!” Aoi hisses, watching Uruha’s head hit the wall as he’s punched, Aoi's first colliding painfully with the side of his face. “If I don’t do that, how the hell else will I be able to be friends with you?” He growls when Uruha just stays there, pulling his shirt forward to make eye contact. “Do you seriously want people openly knowing I like you? Do you fucking want them tearing us apart?”
He knows he's being irrational, that the blonde was probably as confused and upset as he was. But his concern for the blonde was making him cornerned with himself, and instead of feeling genuine sorrow at the thought of Uruha cutting himself, he's making himself angry. So angry, he can feel his blood boiling at the idea. People can die from cutting, you stupid TWAT.
Uruha feels numb, the side of his face loosing all feeling under the force of Aoi’s hit. It stings, making his eyes water, and he cups the injury in one hand as Aoi shouts at him. “W…What are you talking about?”
“Ruki will fucking wreck you. I will too if you don’t stop pretending to be so badass. I liked you just the way you were, insecurities and all. So stop trying to fuck around with people like Ruki and me, because seriously? You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”
Uruha watches Aoi as he sneers at him, feeling the warm of his body pressing against him, and he doesn’t see why Aoi’s so angry about him kissing Ruki. It was an act on irrational impulse, just…
“You want me Uruha? I’m a fucking animal. I’ll fuck you if you want that, but I promise you, I will hurt you. I’ll tear you fucking apart. Do you really want that?” Aoi pressed himself against the blonde roughly, ignoring the small whimper of protest. “I want it in every position, eight times a day. Handcuffs, bondage, cuts, blood…I want it all Uruha.”
Aoi….
“You think you know it all Uruha, but you don’t. You don’t have the experience. You need to watch it and stop being so damn cocky.” Aoi breathes, finally letting the blonde away from the wall and giving him space to breathe. “You’re not ready for that, no matter what you think. You’re not. That’s why I refused you.”
And Uruha can’t say anything. He has nothing to say to him, nothing to claim or shout about, because after that…
I really am just….a recluse.
“Aoi…I…”
“Save it.” Aoi sighs, pushing an irritated hand through his hair. He watches Uruha clumsily dump himself on the bed, looking kind of dazed and regretful.
Serves him fucking right.
But then he reminds himself what set him off in the first place- and he moves to join the lead guitarist on the bed. “Look, sort yourself out. But before that, let me see your arms.”
Uruha visibly stiffens, and Aoi takes it upon himself to quickly grab the blonde’s wrist before he can pull it back. It’s shaking under his hand, obviously nervous and ashamed of what he’d done.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” He reassured him, gently pushing the fabric back to reveal his arms, and Aoi cringes at the sight before him. The once pale, flawless skin is a mess with red marks, thin red lines cutting across his arms and wrists. “Why…?” He whispers, mainly to himself as he traces the lines with his thumb. It’s not just those lines however, but the thin scars of old injuries, just as thin and perfectly formed as the others.
He’s been doing this for a long time.
“How long….?” He looks up, watching the blonde’s shaky expression. He looks ashamed, and Aoi wouldn’t be surprised if he burst out crying any minute. The thought of Uruha being labeled as ‘an emo’ doesn’t seem so amusing anymore, instead it makes Aoi feel sick, his stomach turning uncomfortably as he traces the marked skin.
“Four years…” Uruha’s voice is shaking, his bottom lip trembling slightly as he speaks, reminding Aoi of the fact he really is afraid of his opinion. “But I…I didn’t mean to do it recently…It just happened and I-” He cuts off, as if just realizing what he was going to say. But he doesn’t need to, and Aoi already has a feeling that he had something to do with it, they were just too recent.
“A-Aoi… are you okay?” Uruha’s voice reaches him, and he looks up at the innocent and slightly frightened face watching him. But he has no idea if he’s okay or not. He’s never felt more at loss than he does now. He has no idea if Uruha’s his friend of just a ticket to a free car, he can’t make sense of anything. At all.
“I… have no idea.” He mumbles, his voice coming out more timid than he intended. The only thing he’s sure of is that he doesn’t want to see Uruha cut again, or make a fool of himself. Not only for him, but for Reita. The blonde bassist had looked so forlorn and lost when Ruki kissed Uruha, it was painful not only for him, but to see his friend look so sad.
“I just….have a lot on my mind at the moment…” He lets Uruha’s wrist go, tiredly resting his head on the blonde’s soft pillows. “I’m worried about Reita I guess. He’s so down lately about Ruki.”
Uruha looks confused at this, and Aoi snorts in realization. Of course Uruha doesn’t have any idea what’s going on, he’s all alone in this huge mansion. And it wasn’t like he was going to tell anyone, so why not?
“Reita’s fallen for Ruki, unintentionally. But he knows Ruki’s someone he’ll never be able to have, and if his parents found out he had fallen for a guy, they’d disown him. Cuz’ you know, they’re snobs.”
Uruha looks surprised, but nods understandably. It was almost therapeutic talking to someone like Uruha who had no real emotional involvement with the two. He lays down next to Aoi, joining him in watching the high ceiling and crossing his legs and the ankles.
“Reita’s scary looking,” He mumbles, trying to imagine Reita and Ruki together. Reita was always so calm looking, and Ruki was like the devil himself. “And Ruki’s even more scary.”
He hears Aoi snort in amusement, no doubt laughing at his immature description of them. “Reita’s actually really sensitive. When he doesn’t speak he listens. Like, seriously listens. He always knows what to do, and Ruki’s well….a passionate person I guess. And I guess you don’t know Kai or Miyavi so it doesn’t matter.”
“Do you have a lot of friends?” He asks quietly, content with knowing the small things about Aoi he’s never had time to notice before. Aoi shrugs, probably signaling yes, but Reita, Ruki, Kai and Miyavi were his closest ones.
They lay there for a while, just enjoying the silence, and it’s only when he hears a knock on the door that he realizes he had actually fallen asleep. He rubs his eyes, slightly embarrassed that he’d fallen asleep in Aoi’s company, but when he looks over Aoi is just as sound asleep as he had been.
He watches his mother pop her head around, just making sure everything was okay since they’d been really quiet, and Uruha nods, letting her know everything was indeed, fine.
“Would he like to stay for dinner?” She whispers, obviously taking note that he had nodded off, and Uruha smiles, agreeing that’s it’s probably best to get Aoi fed before he goes home for the night. It was probably getting later after all.
She closes the door, leaving the two of them alone, one of them asleep. Aoi looks incredibly peaceful and not like his usual impish self when he’s asleep, something Uruha finds captivating. He wipes the hair from his face, biting his lip when Aoi hums in his sleep. He quickly pulls his hand away, tucking it nervously under him and lays back down again, watching the brunette with curious eyes.
Aoi looks nothing like his usual self when he sleeps. He looks much younger, like a child, too innocent to possibly be Aoi, but too real to be fake. But he has to wake him up- if he doesn’t it might prevent the brunette from getting any real sleep tonight.
“Aoi?’ He mumbles, gently reaching out to shake the elder’s shoulder.
“Mmm?” The reply is sleepy and groggy, but a reply none the less and he watches as his eyes flutter open tiredly.
He bites his lip, tearing his eyes back to the ceiling to avoid eye contact. “I’m sorry. About everything.”
Aoi‘s quiet for a moment, and Uruha wonders if he heard him at all. He‘s about to tell him again, when the brunette opens his mouth and speaks.
“….It’s okay. I forgive you.”