satire for ap english
Dear George W. Bush,
Your brilliant plan for Sex Education in American schools has recently come to my attention. And what a plan it is! I was initially introduced to the plan by a good friend of mine, who explained to me that you support teaching “abstinence only”. Confused by this, I further inquired and found out that not only do you suggest that American students should be influenced by the religious morals to “wait until you’re married”, but that you also advocate the idea of denying American adolescents any knowledge about contraception and sexual diseases. Inspired, I wanted to learn all of the positives in an “abstinence-only” United States.
First, I thought about the people this will directly affect: American adolescents. I was concerned that a lot of problems would come up if kids had a lacking education about the risks of sex, contraception, and safe sex. I’m sure however, that you have a brilliant idea for how to solve such issues that come up when unenlightened adolescents find themselves in bad situations after having unprotected sex. Could you share with me your solution for this? I’m very curious.
Interestingly enough, I found that many states are already in full support of your plan. Boards of education have taken it upon themselves to revise the textbooks that middle and high school students are reading. Apparently they are clearing out full chapters in these books that could include any information about sexual intercourse and the diseases that could come with it. This is an intelligent move since they would be wasting paper by explaining diseases such as Aid’s/HIV’s to kids that won’t be having sexual intercourse before they are married anyway.
Also supporting your plan are the public schools in states like California, Alabama, and Pennsylvania. These states are hosting chastity rallies. In these rallies that are held during school students can pledge to God that they will abstain from sexual intercourse until they are legally married! I have to admit, I was a little surprised at this because I know that religion is not supposed to intervene in public schools, but I understand what a small price it is to pay in order to maintain such purity in adolescents!
Of course, purity is a very important attribute in Americans. And in the twenty-first century, teenagers are known for their desire to behave in a proper manner in which their elders would approve. I assume that if someone as popular as you were to tell this group of purity-loving kids to refrain from sexual activity, they will obey magnificently! If you could wait until marriage, I’m sure they will be able to do so as well; you did right?
Finally, I wondered how this plan would be appreciated by our entire country. As you well know, our country is very proud of its diversity in religion, ethnicity, language and personality. Therefore promoting a Christian view such as this seems to conflict with the first amendment of the Constitution. Doesn’t it interfere with the “no church in government” idea that keeps our country from degrading everyone’s human right to believe in anything they chose?
Then I realized that you must be an extremely intelligent man to have been elected twice as the American president, so you must have already considered all of this! I simply wanted to commend you on yet another brilliant idea parallel to the brilliance of your support for corporate America, stand on gay-marriage, and your war-strategies! Thank you for all of your hard work, I look forward to your next stream of ideas. How do you plan to spend the “political capitol” you earned during the election?
Your brilliant plan for Sex Education in American schools has recently come to my attention. And what a plan it is! I was initially introduced to the plan by a good friend of mine, who explained to me that you support teaching “abstinence only”. Confused by this, I further inquired and found out that not only do you suggest that American students should be influenced by the religious morals to “wait until you’re married”, but that you also advocate the idea of denying American adolescents any knowledge about contraception and sexual diseases. Inspired, I wanted to learn all of the positives in an “abstinence-only” United States.
First, I thought about the people this will directly affect: American adolescents. I was concerned that a lot of problems would come up if kids had a lacking education about the risks of sex, contraception, and safe sex. I’m sure however, that you have a brilliant idea for how to solve such issues that come up when unenlightened adolescents find themselves in bad situations after having unprotected sex. Could you share with me your solution for this? I’m very curious.
Interestingly enough, I found that many states are already in full support of your plan. Boards of education have taken it upon themselves to revise the textbooks that middle and high school students are reading. Apparently they are clearing out full chapters in these books that could include any information about sexual intercourse and the diseases that could come with it. This is an intelligent move since they would be wasting paper by explaining diseases such as Aid’s/HIV’s to kids that won’t be having sexual intercourse before they are married anyway.
Also supporting your plan are the public schools in states like California, Alabama, and Pennsylvania. These states are hosting chastity rallies. In these rallies that are held during school students can pledge to God that they will abstain from sexual intercourse until they are legally married! I have to admit, I was a little surprised at this because I know that religion is not supposed to intervene in public schools, but I understand what a small price it is to pay in order to maintain such purity in adolescents!
Of course, purity is a very important attribute in Americans. And in the twenty-first century, teenagers are known for their desire to behave in a proper manner in which their elders would approve. I assume that if someone as popular as you were to tell this group of purity-loving kids to refrain from sexual activity, they will obey magnificently! If you could wait until marriage, I’m sure they will be able to do so as well; you did right?
Finally, I wondered how this plan would be appreciated by our entire country. As you well know, our country is very proud of its diversity in religion, ethnicity, language and personality. Therefore promoting a Christian view such as this seems to conflict with the first amendment of the Constitution. Doesn’t it interfere with the “no church in government” idea that keeps our country from degrading everyone’s human right to believe in anything they chose?
Then I realized that you must be an extremely intelligent man to have been elected twice as the American president, so you must have already considered all of this! I simply wanted to commend you on yet another brilliant idea parallel to the brilliance of your support for corporate America, stand on gay-marriage, and your war-strategies! Thank you for all of your hard work, I look forward to your next stream of ideas. How do you plan to spend the “political capitol” you earned during the election?