(no subject)
this is my extremely sad. filled with dissapointment. for the past two months ive been living in this imaginary world where nothing but field hockey was important and the people who mattered most were those who lived in this field hockey world because they were the only people who cared to be around me. despite the nerves that the competition of organized sports brings, i realyl have to advocate the positives of a team. especially a team like mine. all fall i've heard of the boys soccer team hating eachother, the girls soccer team cat-fighting and hating eachother..than tehre was us. having one to two skeeti dinners a week, wanting to hang out more if we could. and iknow its not like anyone died....but its impossible for us to all have that when we have so many other things going on in our lives.
on a personal level, im sad for myself. fucking call me selfish if you want.. and maybe i am. but for the first time i felt like i belonged in a position. like i was doing something that i was really good at and part of something that was positive and strong. that felt good to me. and now im back to how lame, unexciting, and untalented as i was before. so i guess thats just the way it goes. everything has to come to an end. and i mean, who would realyl expect a team like nipmuc to win states anyways. with a goalie who's only been a goalie for two years. fuck no.
so now, im back to my mediocre self.
thankyou if you came and supported us. you've no idea how much it means to me. especially those who really came out and saw a couple games. i know its just a stupid organized sport like any other...but it has been a big deal to me.
im sorry for being away from everyone else lately. but i hope youll understand now. and im sure those people who would care that ive been away have come to my games anyways...so you understnad the big deal part right.
whatever. i feel completely alone right now.
on a personal level, im sad for myself. fucking call me selfish if you want.. and maybe i am. but for the first time i felt like i belonged in a position. like i was doing something that i was really good at and part of something that was positive and strong. that felt good to me. and now im back to how lame, unexciting, and untalented as i was before. so i guess thats just the way it goes. everything has to come to an end. and i mean, who would realyl expect a team like nipmuc to win states anyways. with a goalie who's only been a goalie for two years. fuck no.
so now, im back to my mediocre self.
thankyou if you came and supported us. you've no idea how much it means to me. especially those who really came out and saw a couple games. i know its just a stupid organized sport like any other...but it has been a big deal to me.
im sorry for being away from everyone else lately. but i hope youll understand now. and im sure those people who would care that ive been away have come to my games anyways...so you understnad the big deal part right.
whatever. i feel completely alone right now.