The whispers of fear, the chills up the spine...
Backdated to September 5, after this post.
Melchior paces back and forth, in and out of his room, up and down the hallway, for what feels like hours after Moritz flees. He wants to be sure that he won't run into Moritz because, for once in Melchior's life, Moritz is the last person he wants to see. After their fight, what would they do if they encountered one another? What would they say? Melchior isn't ready to apologize -- really, he doesn't think he has to -- but more importantly he isn't ready to face what had happened.
Most of his effort is being poured into keeping his mind coherent, to replay things in an orderly manner and think through what had happened. It's not really working. He can only recall half-remembered bits and pieces of the actual argument, of the shouting and the rising tensions. What his mind does remember in startling clarity, and all it keeps replaying, is the end. Moritz shoving Melchior. Moritz running his hands over Melchior to show him where he touched Georgina. Melchior shoving back. Moritz pushing Melchior against the wall and kissing him.
There was more shoving after that, but that's where his mind stops. He remembers pushing Moritz away as weakly as he managed to do it and with as much delay as he took the first time around. The shock of it all depleted his strength and his anger until all he could do was -- stand there and feel Moritz's mouth on his own. It was to prove a point -- he's pretty sure -- but he can't remember what point it was. Moritz said something before it happened, something about being ready for this sort of thing, but the importance of why is fading away to make way for the fact that it did.
And why it's left Melchior feeling shaken, and why he can still feel Moritz pressed against him. Why did he get so angry over Moritz kissing two girls? Is it that big of a deal? It's this thought that leaves him chewing his lip as he hurries out of the Compound finally. It's once he steps outside that he realizes he has no idea where he should go. The goal was simply to flee the building, and he's done that. He's at a loss for what to do next just as he's at a loss over where he stands with his best friend.
Instead of forcing his mind to think of something rational right away, he stands outside, taking in deep breaths of air, trying to calm his nerves and clear his mind.
Melchior paces back and forth, in and out of his room, up and down the hallway, for what feels like hours after Moritz flees. He wants to be sure that he won't run into Moritz because, for once in Melchior's life, Moritz is the last person he wants to see. After their fight, what would they do if they encountered one another? What would they say? Melchior isn't ready to apologize -- really, he doesn't think he has to -- but more importantly he isn't ready to face what had happened.
Most of his effort is being poured into keeping his mind coherent, to replay things in an orderly manner and think through what had happened. It's not really working. He can only recall half-remembered bits and pieces of the actual argument, of the shouting and the rising tensions. What his mind does remember in startling clarity, and all it keeps replaying, is the end. Moritz shoving Melchior. Moritz running his hands over Melchior to show him where he touched Georgina. Melchior shoving back. Moritz pushing Melchior against the wall and kissing him.
There was more shoving after that, but that's where his mind stops. He remembers pushing Moritz away as weakly as he managed to do it and with as much delay as he took the first time around. The shock of it all depleted his strength and his anger until all he could do was -- stand there and feel Moritz's mouth on his own. It was to prove a point -- he's pretty sure -- but he can't remember what point it was. Moritz said something before it happened, something about being ready for this sort of thing, but the importance of why is fading away to make way for the fact that it did.
And why it's left Melchior feeling shaken, and why he can still feel Moritz pressed against him. Why did he get so angry over Moritz kissing two girls? Is it that big of a deal? It's this thought that leaves him chewing his lip as he hurries out of the Compound finally. It's once he steps outside that he realizes he has no idea where he should go. The goal was simply to flee the building, and he's done that. He's at a loss for what to do next just as he's at a loss over where he stands with his best friend.
Instead of forcing his mind to think of something rational right away, he stands outside, taking in deep breaths of air, trying to calm his nerves and clear his mind.