more fun with headlines
I know it's not easy to be concise, informative, factual, and interesting in the space of a few words, but that doesn't stop me from having a laugh at the expense of those who try.
The AP headline reads "Crews prepare to take contraption to Gulf oil leak", in reference to the containment unit that will be used to cap the leak from the recently sunk oil rig. In this case, "contraption" stands out as a particularly odd word to use. It got me to wondering if they were actually referring to it as the "contraption", and how that might play out in conversation or, say, during a press conference:
AP Reporter - "When will the contraption arrive on site?"
BP Spokesperson - "We anticipate the contraption to be in position no later than tomorrow at dawn."
APR - "Can you explain the process from there?"
BPS - "Once on site, the contraption will be attached to a specially modified deelybobber, then lowered one mile to the ocean floor, where the whatsit is leaking. This part of the operation is crucial, as any unplanned movement by the deelybobber could cause the contraption to collide with the whatsit, or worse, the thingy. That is a remote possibility, however, as the deelybobber is equipped with the latest doodads. The doodads will travel the length of the thingy, following the contraption to ensure it touches down on the whatsit as planned. Once in place, welders will affix widgets to hold the contraption above the whatsit."
APR - "Are there contingencies in case the contraption does not fully contain the stuff?"
BPS - "Well, none that are as effective. We're considering adding a layer of bits 'n' bobs to keep the thingummy under control, but we won't know for certain if that will work, and we'd rather not introduce the bits 'n' bobs unnecessarily as a whirlygig could erupt. Flotsam, of course, has been ruled out as too risky."
The AP headline reads "Crews prepare to take contraption to Gulf oil leak", in reference to the containment unit that will be used to cap the leak from the recently sunk oil rig. In this case, "contraption" stands out as a particularly odd word to use. It got me to wondering if they were actually referring to it as the "contraption", and how that might play out in conversation or, say, during a press conference:
AP Reporter - "When will the contraption arrive on site?"
BP Spokesperson - "We anticipate the contraption to be in position no later than tomorrow at dawn."
APR - "Can you explain the process from there?"
BPS - "Once on site, the contraption will be attached to a specially modified deelybobber, then lowered one mile to the ocean floor, where the whatsit is leaking. This part of the operation is crucial, as any unplanned movement by the deelybobber could cause the contraption to collide with the whatsit, or worse, the thingy. That is a remote possibility, however, as the deelybobber is equipped with the latest doodads. The doodads will travel the length of the thingy, following the contraption to ensure it touches down on the whatsit as planned. Once in place, welders will affix widgets to hold the contraption above the whatsit."
APR - "Are there contingencies in case the contraption does not fully contain the stuff?"
BPS - "Well, none that are as effective. We're considering adding a layer of bits 'n' bobs to keep the thingummy under control, but we won't know for certain if that will work, and we'd rather not introduce the bits 'n' bobs unnecessarily as a whirlygig could erupt. Flotsam, of course, has been ruled out as too risky."