male bashing humor that i thought i would share
>> One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
sweatshirt.
>Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
"What
>setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied.
"What
>does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of North
Carolina."
>>
>> And they say blondes are dumb...
>> _______________________
>>
>> A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
>happiest woman in the world"
>>
>> The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
>> _______________________
>>
>> "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped
out
>of
>the shower, "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
mowed
>the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she
>replied.
>> _______________________
>>
>> He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love
to
>you really badly.
>>
>> She said - Well, you succeeded.
>> ______________________
>>
>> He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
>> She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board
while I
>sit on the sofa and fart.
>> _______________________
>>
>> He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave
>you?
>> She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
>> ______________________
>>
>> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
>> A: A rumour.
>> _______________________
>>
>> A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
>wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them
and
>said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant
each
>of them a very special wish.
>>
>> The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh!
>Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
>>
>> The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger.
>Whoosh...immediately he turned 90!!!
>>
>> Gotta love that fairy!
>> __________________
>>
>> AND THE BEST ONE YET...
>>
>> A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:
>> * She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
>> * Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
>> * Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
>> * Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
>> * And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
>>
>>
>> A PRAYER....
>>
>> Dear Lord,
>>
>> I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
>> Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
>> Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death
sweatshirt.
>Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
"What
>setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied.
"What
>does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of North
Carolina."
>>
>> And they say blondes are dumb...
>> _______________________
>>
>> A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
>happiest woman in the world"
>>
>> The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
>> _______________________
>>
>> "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped
out
>of
>the shower, "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
mowed
>the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she
>replied.
>> _______________________
>>
>> He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love
to
>you really badly.
>>
>> She said - Well, you succeeded.
>> ______________________
>>
>> He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
>> She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board
while I
>sit on the sofa and fart.
>> _______________________
>>
>> He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave
>you?
>> She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
>> ______________________
>>
>> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
>> A: A rumour.
>> _______________________
>>
>> A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
>wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them
and
>said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant
each
>of them a very special wish.
>>
>> The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh!
>Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
>>
>> The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger.
>Whoosh...immediately he turned 90!!!
>>
>> Gotta love that fairy!
>> __________________
>>
>> AND THE BEST ONE YET...
>>
>> A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:
>> * She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
>> * Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
>> * Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
>> * Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
>> * And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
>>
>>
>> A PRAYER....
>>
>> Dear Lord,
>>
>> I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
>> Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
>> Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death