A poem, and a thought

[noir]

When you cry your tears, are they tears of sadness
Or when you cry are they tears of joy
Are you showing an emotion you try to hide
Are you showing a feeling you try and deny

Can simple song pierce your heart
Can a melody make your soul fly
Can words reach through the curtain
Can music make you dance

I like to think of myself as fairly stoic. There isn't much that reaches me. Maybe I'm emotionless, or maybe I'm just trying to live up to the image I have of myself.

But music.. oh music. Why does music have to power to reach inside me and turn my soul inside out? Why do certain songs just give me goosebumps, or certain tunes just make me feel like dancing?

Having the iPod means I have access to pretty much my whole colelction of music, including stuff I'd never put onto the minidisc because I prefered more upbeat stuff on there. (ok sorceresz, crow all you like about being right.. you were ;P).

So on the iPod comes a song by Jann Arden, called 'Unloved'. It's a song that's always brought deep feelings to me, because the lyrics strike such a chord. i'm afraid of being like that.

There will be no consolation prize
this time the bone is broken clean
no baptism, no reprise and no sweet taste
of victory. All the stars have fallen
from the sky
and everything else in between
satelites have closed their eyes, the moon
has gone to sleep unloved....unloved....unloved....unloved

here I am inside a hotel choking on a
million words I said
cigarettes have burned a hole and dreams are
drunk and penniless
here I am inside my fathers arms
all jagged-bone and whiskey-dry
whisper to me sweetly now and tell me I will
never die unloved....unloved....unloved....unloved

here I am an empty hallway
broken window, rainy night
I am nineteen sixty-two and I am ready
for a fight people crying hallelujah
while the bullet leaves the gun
people falling, falling, falling and I don't know
where they're falling from
are they unloved....unloved....unloved....unloved

hoping that the kindness will lead us
past the blindness and
not another living soul will ever have to feel
unloved....unloved....unloved....unloved
unloved....unloved

Another of her songs that has me feeling deeply, but this time of happyness and contentedment (is that a real word?) is It Looks Like Rain.

I flagged a taxi long before you woke
The sun had not yet risen, morning not yet broke
It looks like rain
It looks like rain

A little starling swept above my sleepy head
He plucked a single hair and took off
Laughing madly as he fled
The driver drinking brandy said, "here is to the day"
It looks like rain
It looks like rain

And every breath I ever took
Every tear I ever wept
Every star I wished upon
seemed nothing until now
Every prayer I ever said
seemed strangely answered now
Could it be I'm in love? Could it be I'm in love?

I made the driver park the car beside the sea
I gazed upon the fading dark
And slowly buckled at the knees
The driver drinking gladly said "here is to the day"
it looks like rain
it looks like rain

(chorus repeat)

Anyway, that song wasn't the next one played by the iPod. After making me feel sad, it then brought me back up by playing Everything Shines, by Great Big Sea. Thats definately a happy song. Then Tommy Peoples by Altan, a dancing song.

Damn you music. When I was a wee lad, the person I admired most was Mister Spock from Star Trek. I wanted to be so much like him. Be cool, emotionless and in control. And music spoils all that
grrrrr.

And you know something, I wouldn't have it any other way. :)