hold your breath when a black bird flies by
I want to start with saying a huge THANK YOU to everyone who commented and cheered me up. I adore you all, each and every one of you is a darling.
I feel a lot better. Which is hard for me to say, because I always have this silly feeling that if I admit to feeling good, someone would take that away from me. Like I should hide my happiness like it's an expensive jewel or something. Whatever.
Tuesday I cleaned my room, washed the kitchen, made a cake and fresh lemonade and baked pizza and had Sidney and Naomi, Chan-Hoen's friends from Korea, visit my house for the first time. I was really surprised to hear that they're actually 27 years old, they look so young! and they both studied animation in Seoul *_________* we watched half an hour animation Sidney made about Jesus; the animation was AMAZING, the plot was...well, she's not responsible for the plot, she did the animation, so. Also we talked about our thoughts about sex before getting married, which - they surprised me with their honesty, as they come from a certain cultural background and both very religious.
Afterwards I was invited to my old Geography teacher Nikola, with Yana and Adi; we spent the evening, as usual, eating junk food, watching TV and crudely talking about gay sex and porn. I drew my first male nude and dedicated "my first dick to my beloved teacher" - Nikola was overjoyed. I was surprised with how fun I was having, as I was really reluctant to go. By the morning when I went home my bad mood was completely forgotten.
I spent the day with my Jesus loving friends, and then with my sodomy loving friends. Would I like some fries with my irony? Yes please!
In Friday I was in such a good mood my brother couldn't stand to be around me, as I was apparently 'disgustingly cheerful and also insane' - to be honest his annoyance might have something to do with me constantly texting him ridiculous pictures when I was at my Gran's.
I don't know if my good mood is the cold weather (OH MY GOD, I HAVE A SOFT BLANKET, THE HEAT IS ON, I'M WEARING WARM PJ'S, I'M IN HEAVEN) or because of my friends, or a combination of the two, but I'm thankful. And I'm really proud at myself for forcing myself to meet with friends and keep busy even though I wanted nothing more then just sleep forever - I got myself out of this ditch for the first time. I feel strong and responsible and ready to handle pretty much anything.
I feel a lot better. Which is hard for me to say, because I always have this silly feeling that if I admit to feeling good, someone would take that away from me. Like I should hide my happiness like it's an expensive jewel or something. Whatever.
Tuesday I cleaned my room, washed the kitchen, made a cake and fresh lemonade and baked pizza and had Sidney and Naomi, Chan-Hoen's friends from Korea, visit my house for the first time. I was really surprised to hear that they're actually 27 years old, they look so young! and they both studied animation in Seoul *_________* we watched half an hour animation Sidney made about Jesus; the animation was AMAZING, the plot was...well, she's not responsible for the plot, she did the animation, so. Also we talked about our thoughts about sex before getting married, which - they surprised me with their honesty, as they come from a certain cultural background and both very religious.
Afterwards I was invited to my old Geography teacher Nikola, with Yana and Adi; we spent the evening, as usual, eating junk food, watching TV and crudely talking about gay sex and porn. I drew my first male nude and dedicated "my first dick to my beloved teacher" - Nikola was overjoyed. I was surprised with how fun I was having, as I was really reluctant to go. By the morning when I went home my bad mood was completely forgotten.
I spent the day with my Jesus loving friends, and then with my sodomy loving friends. Would I like some fries with my irony? Yes please!
In Friday I was in such a good mood my brother couldn't stand to be around me, as I was apparently 'disgustingly cheerful and also insane' - to be honest his annoyance might have something to do with me constantly texting him ridiculous pictures when I was at my Gran's.
I don't know if my good mood is the cold weather (OH MY GOD, I HAVE A SOFT BLANKET, THE HEAT IS ON, I'M WEARING WARM PJ'S, I'M IN HEAVEN) or because of my friends, or a combination of the two, but I'm thankful. And I'm really proud at myself for forcing myself to meet with friends and keep busy even though I wanted nothing more then just sleep forever - I got myself out of this ditch for the first time. I feel strong and responsible and ready to handle pretty much anything.